Emptiness

It is hard to write about depression. It is a cloying, unpleasant feeling and it swallows up most things that are interesting or productive or of the kind that people want to read about. All writing is for an audience…

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The Philadelphia Storey

I took the train down to Philly this weekend. Except not really “this weekend”, because I didn’t leave till Sunday night and I didn’t get back till just about now. So the “weekend” can be Sunday through Tuesday in this…

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Another Saturday Night

I was alone all yesterday, a Saturday. I’m not making that mistake again. Barring a major change, I’m going to be booked the next 26* Saturdays: 30 October: UPenn tournament (Philadelphia, PA) 6 November: American tournament (Washington, DC) 13 November:…

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Vulnerability

One of the driving fears of having a website like this is that it paints a huge target on my back. Really, on my front. It reminds me of the old “frontstabbing” technique that Schneider & Gris used to use…

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Friday Without a Cause

There’s no debate this weekend. Not because there’s no scheduled tournament, but because that tournament doesn’t serve the purposes of the Rutgers team. It’s in British Parliamentary style, designed to prepare American teams for competition on the Worlds stage, with…

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Ellipsis

I’ve been up for almost a day now and I’m ready to get unconscious again. I’ve been waiting to have something wise or summarative or conclusive about the day, but that’s not working any better than me having something like…

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Silence is Rotten

So, I’m not sure my whole volunteering plan is going to work out that well. Debate works as a distraction from my vast emotional pain for two reasons. For one, it is a reaffirmation that I have some modicum of…

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The Market Doesn’t Solve

Today I decided to try somewhere that wasn’t Stop-N-Shop for my what is apparently becoming bi-weekly grocery trip. This meant heading back over the Raritan into New Brunswick to check out C-Town, which would have been the local place to…

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Epic Wins

It’s been a long time since something went right for me. This weekend, a whole heck of a lot went right in a hurry. I am trying to get used to the feeling of being really super-happy. I was silly-smiley…

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Rain-Dance

Debate seems to have this transcendent power to lift me up in the darkest times. Suffice it to say times have been pretty dark, so thank goodness I chose to spend a year focusing on debate. I don’t know what…

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