-As much as I loathe driving into the City (& it certainly put on a show last night), it was well worth it for an evening with a couple work friends last night. I think the whole City/East Bay divide has thrown up a lot of the roadblocks to my really developing outside-work friendships with my co-workers at this job. That may finally be starting to change...
-It's a remarkably positive thing to sometimes have a task that one wants to put off at work. If there's something on the to-do list that one wants to avoid, one is suddenly inspired to do everything else on the to-do list that's small or been put off in the past. By comparison, these needling little things are great, because they're not doing the big task one wants to put off. & then if one has done everything else, one has to confront the big thing. The point is that without these occasional big boppers, one would never clear out the needling stuff, & thus that would always get left behind, which is bad.
-I think they have a message for us. If I had to inhabit the oceans in their current state of abuse, I think I might try to swim to a nearby seat of the abusers' power as well.
15 May 2007
-Gris & Anna wound up coming home earlier than their
landlords expected, only to find that the latter had torn up the former's bathroom! & a bathroom is a remarkable
portion of the reason to have an apartment. So they're hanging here whilst their landlords scramble to put the place
back together. An unenviable position for them in the wake of returning from a whirlwind trip...
-Life is just
always better with a good book. Period. No wonder I want to write.
14 May 2007
-I feel overwhelmed, though thankfully not exhausted, as
I face this new week. My goal is simply to make sure the sinus problems & complications are not spilling over into
something larger that will again require medical attention. My frustration with this multifaceted ailment clinging on
to another week would be mammoth. If I can get over that, everything else will be gravy.
-Hello Sweden! Today
is on pace to be the biggest day of 2007 for traffic, in large part due to the enormous contributions of Swedish bloggers
discovering the quizzes. Welcome!
13 May 2007
-Made a somewhat abortive trip to Six Flags today,
realizing too late that my sinus headache has extended to a second day & gotten worse. Luckily we have now both
procured season passes (Em got hers on an earlier trip with her family), so we now do not have to commit a whole day to going
up there & have lots of coupons to take friends up as well!
-The times when I am truly enthralled by a book are some
of the best, though like anything, the book seeps into my consciousness & dreams when I'm that focused on it. The
book at this point is Sophie's Choice (apparently everyone in the world knows its plot except for me & I'd like to
keep it that way for the next few hundred pages, thank you...)... I've never encountered a writing style quite like Styron's.
I don't know exactly what I find so remarkable about it; perhaps the sweeping effortlessness of such a wide-ranging
vocabulary. Though by page 150, I notice a repetitiveness to some of the verbosity that I didn't see at first (the word
freighted seems to dominate his diction, for example). & yet there's just enough that I can't stand about
the protagonist that I'm not even sure I like the book, as much as I am captivated by it. There's also just enough mood
of impending swirl of doom-laden plot (reminiscent, most recently, of The Time Traveler's Wife, the best book I've
read in years) that I think it still may end up being one of my classics. It's also nice to have something to focus on
in the midst of the skull-shattering feeling of a sinus headache. The early exit polls have sinus headaches being more
tolerable than migraines, if only because they still allow me to read & focus.
12 May 2007
-So this is what a sinus headache is like.
Tremendous. A full week after mostly recovering from my sinus infection, it looks like something residual is
still lodged there. & now I get to compare & contrast sinus headaches with migraines, or maybe even (joy of
joys) experience both at once! I somehow thought I just wasn't one of those people who had sinus problems... this has
seemingly turned rather rapidly.
-Saturday is by far the most wasted day on the calendar these days. All of my
recent optimism is well due to be cautioned until I can steer out of the April/May morass. How is this time so laden
with joyful anticipation & energy by the rest of the world? So few tidbits of collective wisdom share my almost
alien loathing of mid-Spring.
11 May 2007
Happy Birthday to Megan
Dean
-Sweet blessed Friday. I am proud of myself for rebounding to work a full 40
after having so little energy at the week's outset, but am still ready to crumple in a heap at the day's end. Oh, the
exhaustion!
-What a gem by Washburn! Shutting out the Yankees! I'm glad we're throwing two lefties at them
this weekend, since the entire lineup is lefties. This is one of the only reasons the Yankees are so good... too many
righty pitchers in the AL. It doesn't hurt that our lefty also shut down A-Rod, the notable exception. I think he
may be truly rattled in Seattle.
10 May 2007
-The extent to which I hate Jeff Weaver cannot really be
fully expressed. I wrote several e-mails about this today to Greg & Russ, since I subjected them to earlier
rantings in our pre-Mep yesterday. Suffice it to say that he has established an incompetence at pitching baseballs
unseen in the modern era. Without him, the M's would undoubtedly be in first place, perhaps substantially so.
-The
Mother's Day event we held at FYCC helped remind me why I take such joy in working at this particular branch of Glide.
While my role was one of those behind-the-scenes troubleshooting & technical support roles this time around (&
only called for at the last second when logistics were discovered to be running behind), it still felt great to be part of
something so heart-rending & pivotal for so many families. It remains to be seen as I recover from this illness
& strive to make another real drive at setting up a proper literary routine whether I can strike all the right balances,
but it still seems clear that this position offers me the best chance at said balances of anything I can be doing right now.
There are more extreme measures optional in each direction, but only this road for balances. & I am eager to
give those balances a fair shot. My health & attitude may have to delay this effort till June 7th at this pace,
however. Earlier would be great. In the meantime, there was really something special tonight in FYCC's basement.
I should get Pete to put his Mother's Day Movie on YouTube & then you can all see a piece of what I'm talking
about.
9 May 2007
-Doing a Mep Report after so much ravaging of my voice
& energy was an interesting & tiring experience, but ultimately good on my road to recovery. I'm starting to
rebuild my crumbled routine after two weeks in the hole.
-Also a satisfying M's game to watch... it's nice when they're
not close in the right direction. & how about that Baek!
8 May 2007
-I managed a migraine last night & tonight have a
different one, given that it's flipped sides. This is an inauspicious start to what is theoretically my first week of
health in the last three, but so it goes.
-It's nice to watch as much baseball as I have been lately, & makes me
wonder whether I would leave myself no choice but to buy season tickets were I to actually live in Seattle. Games like
tonight are frustrating, though, & I have to wonder whether Horacio Ramirez would not stand out as the worst starter on
any club were Jeff Weaver not doing so abysmally.
7 May 2007
-Just slightly more optimistic than yesterday as I face
actually going into work this morning. Some year, I will figure out a proper buffer for April/May, but until that time,
it's best to schedule 60 days of hopelessness each year...
6 May 2007
-Spent a miserable day exhausting myself with more
errands & chores, while terrified of how far behind I am on everything, how overwhelmed I feel, & how utterly
incapable of reconciling my exhaustion with work or a normal routine I feel. I am drowning.
5 May 2007
Happy Birthday to Aaron
Harper
-Fifteen days of being sick, but I'm almost over it. Feeling a lot better
today, & ended up going out a couple times. We walked up to La Cascada & bought a Go set at Games of Berkeley
(though I needed a 3-hour nap after doing all that), then later went out with Gris & Anna. Almost feeling human.
But sooo tired.
4 May 2007
-Maybe getting a bit better, & the appetite seems to
be coming back. I'm able to be awake for a few hours at a stretch. There's even hope that I might be able to get
enough rest this weekend to feel human by Monday.
3 May 2007
-I can basically stay awake for an hour or so, plus the
Mariners game on MLBTV these days. Everything else is restless sleep, draining & coughing away. Something's
gotta give soon.
2 May 2007
-Went to a different doctor today ("my" doctor
has been on vacation this whole time) who wound up being great, diagnosed me with a sinus infection with upper respiratory
complications, & gave me a new antibiotic. He also said I couldn't go back to work until Monday, which is
starting to feel about right. Hopefully I won't hack up a lung before then.
1 May 2007
Happy Birthday to Afsheen
Family
-Really feeling miserable, & I feel like I'm getting worse. My
antibiotic ran out last night. I'm just overwhelmed, & pretty much only have energy to sleep. I also have no
appetite, which seems like it could be a problem.
30 April 2007
-Feeling worse, & my work was again angry with me
for coming into work today. I stuck out the whole day, but have committed to not coming back tomorrow & maybe not
the next day either. This is really the longest I can remember being this sick in over a decade.
29 April 2007
-Got to have breakfast with Mesco & the Family
boys at Sconehenge, followed by some Puerto Rico (Em ran away with it). That was more than enough to wipe me out for
the day, coughing & sniffling all the way. I've been sick for 8 days now & just don't seem to be getting
better.
28 April 2007
-Doing nothing but sleeping, but I just don't seem to
be getting any better. I am falling behind on all of my projects, & have no energy for anything. Sigh.
27 April 2007
-About the same as yesterday, & I can't wait for
the weekend so I can rest & finally kick this thing.
26 April 2007
-Feeling better today, though still finding it
exhausting to move around & am barely over 50%. But I have a lot to catch up on, need to get out the Current
(our newsletter), etc. So I'm toughing it out.
25 April 2007
-Tried to go back to work today & my co-workers
sent me home after half a day. I feel like I have to go on Wednesdays, but I really wasn't ready. Maybe
tomorrow.
24 April 2007
-So I was in some of the worst pain of my entire life
on the plane ride last night, with my ears exploding from the altitude changes flying into both Houston & Oakland.
I could hear at 32,000 feet, but not at any lower level, & especially not on the ground in Houston or at home.
Went to the doctor this morning & they diagnosed the expected ear infection & gave me antibiotics, but I am now
feeling much worse than I was on the other coast. As though I weren't missing enough work...
23 April 2007
[from New York
City]
-Not feeling a whole lot better, but going to try to relax today.
-Had a fun
breakfast with Greg & then played some PS2 baseball at Drew's apartment with Drew & Greg. The time passed
quickly & suddenly it's time to head home...
22 April 2007
[from Poughkeepsie, New
York]
-I hate agonizing break-round decisions...
-Four 3-2 quarterfinals.
What a close field!
-The best 'Deis performance at Nats since Zirkin & I in 2001...
-But no better.
Even if they should've won.
-I would never have expected to give a floor speech at Nats 5 years out, but the moment
struck & I think I carried it off well. Em told me I didn't really connect the dots on where the whole speech was
going, but I guess I'll have to wait till the video to see if I concur.
-& another close decision!
-Ah, team
dinners... though this one couldn't quite compete with last year's, it was still great fun. I've been awfully
debilitated by the illness being ongoing, & that's made the whole trip a bit more disappointing than I expected because
I've mostly been recovering rather than enjoying. & I'm realizing that it might be about time to hang up my APDA
hat, at least having this active a role. But I'm very glad I did this. I'm satisfied without being overjoyed.
Mostly the sickness making that difference.
21 April 2007
[from Poughkeepsie, New
York]
Happy Birthday to Elias-Axel Pettersson
-Oh no. Getting sick.
-Really very sick.
-Being sick, probably with an ear infection, on the
marathon day of running Nats is... way less than ideal. Especially when a sore throat (though not the worst one ever)
is prominently involved. But we triple-checked everything & I can be pretty sure there are no tab errors after
white-sheet-checking every ballot for 3-3's & up.
-The Nats banquet was utterly surreal, though I was quite moved by a
couple senior speeches, especially Marisa Maleck's. She spoke about APDA with the reverent love that I felt in my soul,
but it seemed so few people have room for when saying goodbye to the circuit. Not to say that APDA is flawless, but a
community centered around debate is, flaws & all, to be loved. For a lot of the banquet, I felt very old &
almost out of place, mostly due to the late arrival with the tab staff & trying to balance my tab role, my team role,
& my old-folks role. When Mark & Joel broke, though, my role became pretty clear for a while & I went back
to help them case before nearly collapsing with exhaustion & illness.
20 April 2007
[from Poughkeepsie,
New York]
-Came up on the train this morning along the Hudson, & now am hitting
the ground running with running a tournament! How I miss this scene...
-Hand tab rules the day!
-As expected, the
balance of time is in tab & running the show, leaving little time to hang out or help prep the team. But this is
still a blast.
-Never hurts to triple up in a brief stint at poker.
19 April 2007
[from New York
City]
-Got into Newark early this morning & ate at a nifty diner in the airport.
Barely caught our bags before they got hauled away, then met up with Drew near his place in the city after a train ride
in. All the travel on this trip has been pretty smooth after a close call on making the flight in the first place.
I forgot that Drew lived with Newman, but recalled quickly. Drew & I went out to lunch nearby & caught up
while Em napped. Drew is freer now than most people may ever be.
-Spent the rest of the day at the comedy club with
Drew & Clea, where Em & I were the only people in a crowd of 10 not performing stand-up (I almost went up there at
the end, not to be left out). While it was neat to see Drew & Clea perform, I was reminded mostly of why I hate
comedy. We then headed out to an Indian place & hung out with Clea before Greg picked us up at Drew's apartment
& drove us back to Riverdale. I finally have seen the inspiration behind "Eagle" Studios.
18 April 2007
-The problem with this whole reaction to the shootings
is twofold: (1) The obsessive focus on the shooter has gotten in the way of ridiculing the theoretically sane president
of VT for not locking down the campus. (2) It's leading to another round of believing in pre-emption of the rights of
people who seem weird, sad, or "disturbed". I fear a time when anyone who writes a somewhat dark story or
poem or seems a little antisocial is suddenly thrown into a cell with forced medication. I'd really like there to be a
more full disclosure of the mental health's system interaction with this individual, because I bet it pushed him closer to
the edge.
-Mmm technical difficulties.
-Heading out to Nats around 1:00 in the morning, with stops before & after
in NYC. I'm extremely excited about the whole thing, getting to run a tournament, & the zillions of great people
who'll be there. Updates from the east coast most likely upon return to the west coast.
17 April 2007
-So I sort of stopped keeping the migraine log after
2006, so I'll just say... ow.
-All the hype this year about Felix Hernandez is warranted, but I've been telling people
it's mitigated by the fact that Jeff Weaver is on the team. Jeff Weaver, I hate you. You & your 7 earned runs
per game. I haven't hated a Mariner like this since Ryan Franklin. But already, after two completely predictable
shellings, Jeff Weaver is the new Ryan Franklin. How many starts will it take to shelve him & call up Cha Baek from
AAA? That's the only hope we'll have of keeping first place this year.
16 April 2007
-Taking another shot at this. If so inclined,
please Digg now our latest effort to spread the word about
OMBFP!
-At this point, I may end up archiving the whole Kurt Vonnegut era at once. Timing, eh?
-Timing
indeed.
-I don't know if anyone before today could've said what the largest shooting in US history was. But now
everyone will remember this one. Less than several daily death-tolls in Iraq, but still extremely sobering. Also,
it makes me extremely glad that we've practiced our lockdown policy at FYCC, though sad that a college president couldn't
figure out the same thing.
15 April 2007
-It's good to have time.
-You can now get OMBFP merchandise! I'm very excited about this. I'm also excited
by how much easier the CafePress interface seems to use now than it did when I started... I think there will be a lot more
BP gear in just a little bit...
-"The Reaping" was about two-thirds of a good movie, then opted for shock-n-awe
rather than intellectual curiosity. So it goes.
14 April 2007
-It's amazing what can be done by posting good content
in the comments of other peoples' blogs. The degree to which extreme outreach is possible these days is almost
unfathomable. The world is more disparate, but almost conquerable through this strange series of tubes.
-Don't look
now, but the M's are in first place!!
13 April 2007
-Was a little weary at work yesterday, but still had
very little to do. I may never had a week like this again, but it was well-timed this time around. If this were
the norm, however, I don't think I'd like it much.
-The video is chugging along, though it seems I exaggerated the power
of Boing-Boing earlier. So it goes.
-Now I'm sleeping too much.
12 April 2007
Happy Birthday to Colleen Garin
Happy
Birthday to Clea Wilson
-Kurt Vonnegut Jr. (1922-2007). The passing of one of my
favorite authors of all-time was a sad shock. So we had no choice but to pull an all-nighter & compile a serious
video tribute to the legendary literary genius. Please Digg it & check it out here. You may just cry.
-PS: Our video is
already on the front page of Boing-Boing, the #1
blog in the world (according to Technorati). We win.
11 April 2007
-I think half my time at work today will be some sort
of special event or celebration. This week is standing out as the calm before the summer. This may be the most
balanced job I've ever had with high-pressure & low-pressure times balancing to an average of 50. I like
it.
-So many emotions. I'm not sure anyone ever intends anything personally, but so much is taken that way.
10 April 2007
-This week has been on cruise-control. No
complaints here.
-Gris & Anna joined us for some veggie posole, Giants baseball, & Puerto Rico to celebrate Em's
new job, which starts tomorrow. In case you haven't heard, she's going to be working for the California Labor Federation as their Public Policy Coordinator. This is just slightly
a big deal. I edged Em in Puerto Rico & Benitez nearly blew the Giants game.
-I don't think I'm doing my own
Tuesday Topic this week, but if you look here, you will see some
great responses.
9 April 2007
-Back & not quite ready for work. Lots of
projects to catch up on, but it's nice to see how many people signed up for OMBFP while I was gone!
8 April 2007
[from Atlanta]
-The post-reception foosball with the happy couple & others was also not to be missed.
-Mesco's
friends from bizzaro-Brandeis (we always joked about going to different schools given our vastly separate circles) are
actually pretty cool. Where were these people? Sadly we didn't take an AA or 'Deis photo, which we only would've
done to lampoon the concept.
-One last Waffle House, a quick stop by the Carter Library (actually going in this time),
& we're off! It's been a fantastic whirlwind trip, & remarkably relaxed given the tightness of time.
7 April 2007
[from Atlanta]
-Ah, there's the jet lag.
-Congratulations to Mesco & Afsheen! Their wedding was tremendously
fun & a joy to watch. Many jokes were made by friends from all walks of Mesco's life about her not tripping,
falling over, or otherwise being off-balance during the ceremony. Though scheduled outdoors, we were mercifully
reshuffled inside, given the literally freezing weather (in April in Atlanta, setting record lows!). The reception
featured some beef council food (apparently Afsheen has fallen off the veggie-train), but otherwise fantastic accommodations,
including cupcakes, coffee, & some fun dancing. 'Twas also great to hang out with Lisha hours before her departure
for Malawi.
6 April 2007
[from Atlanta]
-Somewhat tired after a red-eye into Atlanta filled with Spring Break revelers. We decided to drive
into SFO & park, which made everything exponentially easier. Finding a Waffle House after landing, however, was
about the hardest thing ever. You might think that finding a WH in Atlanta is roughly as easy as hitting water when
falling out of a boat. We have 45 minutes of frustration (followed by simply getting on the freeway east until we saw a
sign) that disagree. We did have the best service ever when we finally found one, though.
-Whale sharks! &
they even had a video of how UPS transported the whale sharks in 747's (for free in exchange for promotion). The
Georgia Aquarium proved vast & almost overwhelming (given how tired we were). But we took our time, made frequent
pauses, & saw the sea turtle, penguins, & of course the three whale sharks, who are just babies at 17-22 feet long
(on their way up to 40-60). We actually spent over an hour all told watching the whale sharks, including some time in
the amazing tunnel underneath the tank. Emily was completely enthralled with the leafy seadragons, tiny creatures who
look completely unreal & magical. One of the best aquariums ever, & I am becoming completely obsessed with
whale sharks!
-Stopped by CNN Center, but just didn't have the energy to do the tour (there was a 2-hour wait involved).
So... sleepy...
-Surreally, we are staying at the hotel complex where I last stayed in a hotel in Atlanta, some 11
years ago for the Emory debate tournament. I have been to Atlanta many times since, but always stayed with Jake or not
spent the night. This is really quite amazing. This is also where the wedding will be held tomorrow.
5 April 2007
-Have I ever mentioned that I hate Digg? As in...
really hate Digg? You can read all about it here.
-I really should start eating lunch at
work at some point... but I get so engrossed in things like today's statistical report! Ah well, it's vacation
time!
-Exit Emily & I, stage Atlanta. There will be Waffle House, whale sharks on a plane, & the biggest day
of Mesco's life! Updates from Georgia upon return...
4 April 2007
-It's OMBFP Virtual Rally time! You can help out
by clicking here & "digg"ing the
article (just click digg) about One Million Blogs for Peace. (You may need to register or sign in). Even
if you're not part of the movement, I would greatly appreciate your support in this effort to get the word out about the
project. We'll know in 24 hours whether this thing is about to really take off... only diggs cast today will really
make that difference.
3 April 2007
-TMR has released yet another new video. This one remarkably takes the cake for weirdness.
It also, being predominantly Russ' project, is extremely Yankee-centric & involves one of those obscure songs that
only Russ would come up with. Regardless, it's still highly amusing & demonstrative of our increasing prowess at
that niche media that is clipshow-video. I love the interwebs.
-Had a tough day at work today. This took place two feet off of the
block where we're located. Much of the morning was tense as we dealt with the misinformation & rumor that was going
around about the identity of the victim... most of the early reports stated it was a teenager or even a younger child, which
turned out to prove the flaws of eyewitnesses, but at the time simply made us fear it was another of our clients. (A
four-year-old on a sidewalk was killed on his way to our Center last summer). Even though it proved not to be one of
our clients, it was a pretty overwhelming note to the day. We all walk these sidewalks five days a week, & we all
cross those streets constantly with green walk signals or even the flashing red hand. Any bus, any vehicle, could
miscue & take us away any time. There's a reason that "I could get hit by a bus tomorrow" is a cliche to
indicate the fragility of our residence on this planet. Coming face-to-face with it, seeing the body in the street, is
sobering.
-I don't even have a context for the news I just heard. I have a feeling this will dominate my thoughts
for a long while, once the shock wears off.
2 April 2007
-Wrapped up a solitary weekend in Tracy last night with
most of Em's fam. We played Puerto Rico twice, after having the game & letting it sit on the shelf for roughly two
years. It's up to the massive hype surrounding the game, & everyone should start learning & playing it
posthaste! It's a quick one & a nerve-wracker, & I got worse from the first game to the next, after getting
beaten by a point the first time around. The rest of the assembled are going to Six Flags today while I work, but given
how much I goofed off this weekend, it all comes out in the wash.
-A solid day, easing back into another 4-day
week.
1 April 2007
-I wanted to get a lot done this weekend. But I
settled for relaxing & bracing. In the end, I think it needed to happen this way. But sometimes I have a hard
time accepting myself.
-Or others.
31 March 2007
-The US is going to have to work very hard to stay out
of a war with Iran at this point. I don't think they're up to the challenge. This is a somewhat daunting &
overwhelming reality to face.
-"Premonition" is solid. Well crafted.
30 March 2007
Happy Birthday to Matt
McFeeley
-The calendar says March. But it's April already.
-'Twas nice to have
the day off, but it feels like the weekend is already slipping away rather quickly.
29 March 2007
-I was reading over a 64-page draft of a disaster
response plan at work today when I ran across this sentence: "Establishing a routine helps to give us focus and
control over our lives." Like a thunderbolt, it struck me as completely absurd. I'm not sure there's
anything that I feel is less reflective of control over my life than the presence of routine in it. Routine is, in
fact, the embodiment of the absence of control. When a routine is established by others (most routine is), it
demonstrates obligation and the extent to which others dominate one's life. When a routine is established by oneself
(rare), it reflects ceding control over one's life to some sort of autopilot. Rather than letting our thought &
agency decide something, routine suppresses choice by making something automatic. This process innately stifles a
sense of freedom or control over one's actions and often leads to the terrifying thought that we are all merely observers on
a predestined freight train labeled as life. Are there really people out there who believe that routine gives us
control over our lives?!?
-Giants 4, Mariners 0. Was great to get to see the M's in San Francisco, but not
much else about this game was notable, other than fun times hanging out with Gris & Anna. Washburn looked like his
typical mediocrity in giving up 5 consecutive 2-out hits, but then settled down, only to yield another 2-out rally toward the
end of his outing. The game was also absurdly fast, lasting just over 2 hours. At least this one didn't count.
Season starts next week!!
-When I envisioned Emily's last day at PIRG, it somehow seemed much more joyous than this
one turned out to be. This might take a while.
28 March 2007
-I would like to invite everyone to participate in
One Million Blogs for Peace's first Virtual Rally! All the details
are on the Virtual Rally page, but the basics are that we're trying to get on the front page of Digg in a week's time.
This will hopefully be the first of many such united online efforts, so stay tuned...
-Going to miss Miss Etta.
FYCC's institution, our receptionist of ~3 years (& a Glide employee for over 16), retires tomorrow. Her
goodbye party was today. & don't let the "Miss" fool you... she's a great-grandmother!
27 March 2007
-A relatively breathable day.
-The OMBFP Tuesday
Topic this week is about convincing people to change their mind about the war. Though I love debating & am almost
obsessed with convincing people of things, I don't think I've directly changed anyone's mind. I feel like a lot of my
friends toughen & brace their stands on political issues when discussing them with me, in part so we have a fiery debate
& in part just to fend me off (or perhaps because they think I'm so crazy). Regardless, my hope is that I've
indirectly changed a lot of minds through media like "Duck & Cover" or some of the subtext of some of the
quizzes. It seems unlikely that there's been a huge impact in this manner, but I get the feeling these days that minds
are better changed under the radar than over the top. Like many of my friends, I think people toughen their opinion
once it's formed & spend more time fending off than listening in a discussion of issues. I'm sure I do this as well
(it's hard to be a good LO in parliamentary debate without an ability to do this easily). So it's going to be on the
margins of subtlety that hearts & minds are changed... where people start turning their opinion when they aren't thinking
in an opinionated way, or even a mindset where opinion is relevant. This is starting to sound sneaky, & that's
close to coercion, which is not a viable way of changing minds. So I don't have the answer of how this is going to
work. It's probably why I asked the question in the first place.
26 March 2007
-I actually woke up at 1:55 this morning, ready to
face the day. It was one of the oddest moves my sleep cycle has made in a long time. I chose to reject the offer
& return for a couple more hours, which featured the plot of a potential sci-fi book called The Keyper, wherein
time is controlled by a series of doors. It was going to be brilliant in the dream, but what I've pieced together since
is only moderately interesting, so far.
-Our new receptionist is in & seems ready to learn quickly & take over
some work! Very exciting news on the get-head-above-water front.
25 March 2007
-Today could've been handled better, but at the same
time I needed some sort of reset-button of relative seclusion & inactivity. There were plans here & there, but
mostly we had to solidify Em's long-term plan & get me feeling like I was not going to get plowed this coming week.
We'll find out.
24 March 2007
-Maybe there's a reason to believe.
-Played some
excellent tennis with Fish, Gris, Anna, & Em, though the last of these wasn't feeling so great for much of the time.
Then we returned for some Oh Hell, which Gris nipped me in on the very last of twenty hands when we were tied going
into it. Almost a Barton-Winona State worthy comeback.
-Tom, get your plane ride on time.
-If you do
nothing else in a movie theater this spring, go see "Reign Over Me". Phenomenal cinema. One of the most
emotionally honest movies that I can remember. It just rings true. But maybe, also, because I see myself in this
film.
23 March 2007
-I've gotten into the strange & difficult habit of
late of believing my dreams more than reality in the early morning hours. I have been having many somewhat stressful
dreams about work or other life situations where I must urgently do or work on something. When the alarm goes off &
I am exhorted to get up, I have literally explained to myself (& almost attempted to explain to Emily) that it is
important for me to get back to sleep in order to finish the work I was doing or problem I was solving in my dream
reality. Of course, I really need to wake up fully & realize that whatever I'm worried about in the dream isn't
a worry at all, because it isn't real. I was extremely relieved to make this realization this morning, but it came
nearly half an hour after first returning to sleep to wrestle with this fake problem, & diving back into sleep
repeatedly.
-Another long slog, with seven minutes outside of the building, but getting a great deal done. If
anything ever gets to me here, it's going to be internal politics. But even those aren't going to be too bad just
yet.
-Pure exhaustion.
22 March 2007 21 March 2007 20 March 2007 19 March 2007 18 March 2007 17 March 2007 16 March 2007 15 March 2007 14 March 2007 13 March 2007 12 March 2007 11 March 2007 10 March 2007 9 March 2007 8 March 2007 7 March 2007 6 March 2007 5 March 2007 4 March 2007 3 March 2007 2 March 2007 1 March 2007 28 February 2007 27 February 2007 26 February 2007 25 February 2007 24 February 2007 23 February 2007 22 February 2007 21 February 2007 20 February 2007 19 February 2007 18 February 2007 17 February 2007 16 February 2007 15 February 2007 14 February 2007 13 February 2007 12 February 2007 11 February 2007 10 February 2007 9 February 2007 8 February 2007 7 February 2007 6 February 2007 5 February 2007 4 February 2007 3 February 2007 2 February 2007 1 February 2007 31 January 2007 30 January 2007 29 January 2007 28 January 2007 27 January 2007 26 January 2007 25 January 2007 24 January 2007 23 January 2007 22 January 2007 21 January 2007 20 January 2007 19 January 2007 18 January 2007 17 January 2007 16 January 2007 15 January 2007 14 January 2007 13 January 2007 12 January 2007 11 January 2007 10 January 2007 9 January 2007 8 January 2007 7 January 2007 6 January 2007 5 January 2007 4 January 2007 3 January 2007 2 January 2007 1 January 2007 31 December 2006 30 December 2006 29 December 2006 28 December 2006 27 December 2006 26 December 2006 25 December 2006 24 December 2006 23 December 2006 22 December 2006 21 December 2006 20 December 2006 19 December 2006 18 December 2006 17 December 2006 16 December 2006 15 December 2006 14 December 2006 13 December 2006 12 December 2006 11 December 2006 10 December 2006 9 December 2006 8 December 2006 7 December 2006 6 December 2006 5 December 2006 4 December 2006 3 December 2006 2 December 2006 1 December 2006 30 November 2006 29 November 2006 28 November 2006 27 November 2006 26 November 2006 25 November 2006 24 November 2006 23 November 2006 22 November 2006 21 November 2006 20 November 2006 19 November 2006 18 November 2006 17 November 2006 16 November 2006 15 November 2006 14 November 2006 13 November 2006 12 November 2006 11 November 2006 10 November 2006 9 November 2006 8 November 2006 7 November 2006
-Attended an epic groundbreaking for the two new
housing buildings that Glide is building today. It was my first time in-person to see the mayor, & I'm not sure
I've ever seen so much media gathered in the same location. I must admit slight disappointment, however, that it was
not the actual first breaking of ground, as there was already a good big of digging underway. Nevertheless, it
definitely felt like being part of something truly great to be there. It also made me think about how long two years
(the estimated building time) really is.
-Mmmm... green chile....
-Some ridiculously exciting basketball game finishes,
but I continue to be annoyed by Ohio State's death-defying antics. At least Kansas is in. & the teams I
really like play tomorrow.
-Congratulations to Gris & Anna for getting into local schools & deciding (in all
foreseeable likelihood) to stay by the Bay!
-Enter Fish, stage Chicago via Sacramento. Going
to be fun to have him around for a bit... seems like old times!
-Definitely liking how quickly the Blogs for Peace are
ramping up & getting involved.
-It's good that people are looking out for me. I often have the inclination to
fight off people trying to protect me, especially when it's from getting overwhelmed, but in the end I know they're right (or
close to it) & I appreciate it.
-Went to the only Eritrean restaurant with a Miss Pac-Man table that I've ever seen.
The food was solid, but the Miss Pac-Man was stellar. Vests were not lost.
-I am extremely pleased to announce the official
launch of One Million Blogs for Peace! Please note the addition of Tuesday Topics, a weekly blog post prompt designed to provoke thought & discussion around
the concepts relating to the War. 217 blogs are on board already... just 999,783 to go!
-I don't know if I'm going
to get in the habit of posting my own responses to the Tuesday Topics here or not, but I can refer people to my posts from March 2003 for context on how I felt at the war's outset. Needless to say, it's
been bothering me for a long time.
-One Million Blogs for Peace
launches at midnight... get in on the Inblogural train before it leaves the station!
-So many meetings, so little time to
actually get the rest of the work done!
-My last trip to Pismo wrapped up with an epic poker
tournament where I exited in the second (!) hand, losing with an ace-high flush to a straight flush. The man knocking
me out played 6-8 of spades to a raise & hit a 7 & 9 on the flop, with a 5 on the turn. I even asked him to
"show me your straight flush" at the showdown. Needless to say, I didn't really expect him to. But I of
course stuck around to run the commentary & deal as the 15 players were whittled to the same champion from last
year.
-If I could erase today, I would.
[from Oceano,
California]
-Came down here with board games late last night, to the longest-running
game of Settlers on record (we almost eliminated everyone from contention by running through the development cards &
blocking routes). Today, there was basketball, featuring (as usual) more people & less time than expected.
Though we had very well-matched teams that ran 6-on-6 three times. We lost the two out of three, but I got hot
the third game. As always, I yearn for basketball on a regular basis.
-Following one's own principles is sometimes the most
difficult & important thing we can do in life. Here I try.
-I need a pause button.
-Stayed two hours over at
work to complete a grant submission of vital importance, electronically & hours before deadline. I know that all of
you who accept exempt positions will scoff, but I was not designed to work for ten straight hours with no food & no
break. Don't tell HR. But we got it all done. The drama that preceded it... there's nothing to be done
about that. But it's the reason for the delay.
-Maybe I should start taking lunch a little more
seriously.
-I can't believe how quickly days are moving these days. With age, the shortening of the years is
starting to reach a critical mass. I'm almost glad when time seems to go by slowly even if it's dull or I feel like I
want to be doing something else, because at least these are minutes I can cling to that still feel like minutes, not blippy
seconds shooting past me.
-NCAA tourney starts tomorrow, which is quite exciting, then Pismo over the weekend, with the
launch of OMBFP on Tuesday. With two big trips in April, which is surprisingly soon. Woo-hoo-woo-hoo-hoo.
-Seven solid years of Introspection. I don't
know if I could've predicted this. I'm glad I didn't think about it too much before diving into the project.
-So
Russ, Greg, & I have packaged another of my ideas into a viral video on YouTube... this one makes fun of Vonage. Check it out!
-Jake made an NCAA pool in
Facebook & now it's become the week of Storey getting roped into online networking sites ad absurdum. So if
you take that seriously (at least it isn't designed as poorly as MySpace), you can find me there too.
-Came back exhausted last night, with no downtime to
plow into the week.
-Massive day at work, where I barely had time to breathe during 8 straight hours. When one has
3 open positions & is responsible for coordinating the calls & interviews for them all, on top of normal duties, it
can get a little hectic. Especially since we're trying to move almost overnight on all of them. But I really
enjoy days like today, where I never quite get buried but am crazy-busy the whole time. Fun. Hopefully by the end
of the week, we'll be close to getting some new people to work with.
[from Clovis,
California]
-Came down here yesterday, hung out with Em's grandmother for her 96th
birthday celebration, & had a really amazing few moments as she watched digitized video of her from about a half-century
ago that Paul has saved from 8mm reels. Back at the ranch, everyone seemed distracted & unmotivated, so I watched
Oregon dismantle USC in the Pac-10 Championship (one of the coolest basketball games I've seen in a long time), proving to me
not only that the Ducks are great, but that they will win the national title this year. Em & I went to the Old
Spaghetti Factory while the rest of the fam went to a 1-year-old's birthday party for stark contrast to the 96-year-old's.
We eventually got in a board game with Paul (Railroad Tycoon, which I am becoming addicted to), lasting long into the
night.
-Today we had more Railroad Tycoon after some running around with the kids. Paul V is growing up fast, which
is good to see.
-We are all the stars in our own murder mystery.
I think that's a remarkable amount of what keeps life interesting... & keeps people fearful & apprehensive.
If we knew the culprit & could estimate the time of death, we'd all be a lot more focused... or a little less
engaged.
-Exit us, for 36 hours in Fresno...
-Today was just a day fading into another. Though
my patience is starting to fade with a certain pertinent subject on the nature of change & its timing. Suffice it
to say that there are certain things I don't feel I can discuss anymore without just going crazy.
-But I'll keep talking
about them anyway, won't I?
-Conducting interviews full-scale for the first time,
starting today. I'm not on my own (& will in fact be flanked by two co-workers), but the person in this position
will be taking over about a third of my current responsibilities, so it's a pretty big deal that we get someone competent.
Is it weird to feel nervous going into running the interviews?
-The emotional three bears.
-Maybe I've really made a place for myself here.
The idea of progress & positive change is always quite heartening to me. & frankly, I have to accept the
fact that I'm going to wind up leading or spearheading anything that I ever become involved in, period. I've resisted
this at times in the past because it can get overwhelming, but embracing it is much better.
-So many places to possibly
crack through... patience is a key challenge of life.
Happy Birthday to Thelma
Garin
-So many people have been asking me about the earthquake from a few days back...
they really feel routine very quickly. It felt a lot less severe than the smaller one in December (or was it January?).
The only thing is that when it first hits, you don't know if it's going to be a 9.1 or a 2.5.
-My discipline is
waning again. But these are the undulations of life, & in two weeks things are going to really keep me
focused.
-So I have jumped on the Uglytown Train that is MySpace. I actually got an account a while back for no
particular reason (& Drew found it), but now I'm going to take it (a little bit) seriously as an outreach tool for One Million Blogs for Peace. There's just no other good way to get through to all of the zillions of
people using MySpace Blogs, horrifically formatted though they may be. We need these people, so I am now there.
If you take MySpace seriously, feel free to drop a line my
way.
-Things are quite relaxed at work these days, though we
have some staffing to take care of before we settle back too far. Just storing up reserves of energy for the summer.
Like Seneca, we're really on a schedule to counterbalance the school year.
-I spent some of today considering (just
a little) getting into the stock market game, even though this is clearly a weird time to do so (& I've always been
skeptical of late of the economic bubble the US is perched upon). The fascination I have with this is clearly directly
related to my fascination with poker... the market is alluring for the same reasons, & probably even less of a sure bet.
But I'm not sure one can play the market game & try to avoid truly evil companies (& frankly, all the
corporations are evil), so I'd have to get over that aversion to play it properly. I don't know how I feel about that,
but probably not so hot. This is what I get for playing less poker.
-I continue to be pretty out of it, left over from my
tiredness yesterday. I certainly remember competing being this exhausting, but maybe it's the whole atmosphere of
debate. Not feeling particularly well, either, though...
-Played a little tennis & realized how completely busy
we're going to be for the next few weekends. Whoa.
Happy Birthday to Alisha Creel
Happy
Birthday to Martin Clayton
-Saw a couple interesting rounds last night, but was insanely
tired on the way back up from Palo Alto. Today things look blustery & nice, some of my favorite weather, & I'm
looking forward to a full day of good debate. Stanford's a small tourney this year (27 teams) & 'Deis had budget
issues & was unable to make it, but it's still fun, especially since we have a trifecta of old-timers including Zimmy
& Joel Jacobs.
-Stanford wound up being fun, though a little disappointing to not have the team there. I sat out
judging the final round to be able to give a floor-speech, but the round was such a farce by itself that no floor speeches
came to mind, especially funny ones. We went out to a shmancy place afterwards with the Stanford team & the Harvard
dinos who showed up, which was quite enjoyable. Now I'm just wiped out tired.
Happy Birthday to Anna
Geer
-Today will mark the first time since 2003 that I have tried to judge at the
Stanford tournament on the same day as working in an office. & that time didn't even work out, because of the
hitting of Em's old Ford Probe. I anticipate being a bit more tired than usual, but I'm excited about my first contact
with debate since Nats last year!
-Yesterday, leaving work, I couldn't believe that today
was going to be Friday already. Today, however, I almost can't believe that it's not the weekend already. But it
was roundly productive.
-Today was a very good day for OMBFP. Virality finally starting to take
hold...
-The way this week is unfolding, it's impossible
for me to predict what's going to happen or how I'm going to feel. Volatility. That's all I can imagine.
Change is the only constant.
-I guess video games are quite a constant as well.
-Turns out March officially begins today.
-The
landslide in SF was about a block & half from Em's office. Everything was fine & her office was unaffected.
Her SF workplaces still seem to be magnet for news & activity.
-Finally tore up my office sufficiently to get it
in working order. I moved some large objects (oversized file cabinet) that I had no business moving by myself, but so
it goes. I didn't injure my back & I can finally stop worrying about being buried in loose rubble in case of an
earthquake. This is a nice improvement & will make me feel like there's nothing hanging over my head... y'know,
literally.
-Walking through the rain today was somehow not quite as comforting as a few days back. Especially when
the rain was hail. But despite the cold, it was nice to examine how extreme weather impacts other walkers & feel a
certain camaraderie.
-The whole situation with our network at work is
starting to drive me nuts. They got e-mail & internet working after not too long, but then there was a struggle
with us actually getting documents from the server. This struggle lasted all day & required me skipping lunch to
attend to people whose computers were failing in one way or another. The problems were like intelligent diseases,
staying one or two steps ahead of anyone's ability to fix them. & everyone was getting frustrated, testy, &
strange.
-Today is just a terrible today. That... & I might need to talk to someone about my eating habits.
Crying in restaurants we frequent is not the best precedent ever.
-Perhaps the earliest fantasy baseball draft in
history turned out to be one of the best. I feel like I actually carried off what I intended to do, which is always
difficult.
-Re-enter Em! While she didn't love Santa Barbara, she won't have to return for a good long while.
-New graphic up top. I haven't gotten as much
done today as in the past few days, but I've been relaxing & I'll take it. Plus, I've still been having much more
productive weekends than in a long time prior. Lots of excitement seems to be the ongoing theme. Larger tasks,
like archiving this page or updating the horrendously backlogged QFG answers, still remain ahead.
-"The Number
23" was somewhat okay & somewhat disappointing. The remarkable thing was that the movie pretty much managed to
never be creepy, which a stunning accomplishment given that this was seemingly the whole point of the movie. A great
number of the things which were supposed to be scary evoked laughs, & while there was raw suspense at moments, it was
never ever spooky. As a big fan of moods in movies, having seen many films that expertly control the mood in this
genre, I was amazed at how much this one missed the mark. At the same time, the movie is not without point or
substance. It's just not creepy or spooky as you might hope.
-The downpour I walked in on the way back was one of
the most satisying rain-walking experiences I've ever had. I had anticipated it correctly, so I was suited up with hat
& parka, & thus was able to enjoy being in the downpour without actually getting soaked. If I lived in Seattle,
I would do that all the time.
-Today at work, our network was down for about 5 of
the 8 hours. This gave me an "opportunity" to clean out my office, which houses untouched files dating back
to 2000, from residents of the office several moves removed. I made a remarkable amount of progress, though it wasn't
quite what I was expecting when I went in to work today. I have been saying for months, however, that I don't have time
to work on it, so I said I needed time & I had time.
-While going to lunch, I was doing my usual routine of not making
eye-contact with anyone (it's just not a rewarding process). I instead made eye-contact with a large pile of human
waste. It actually took me about five full seconds to realize what it was because it was so strange to see in the
context of a regular sidewalk. This is life in the Tenderloin.
-I just lit a pilot light for the first time in my
life! They're remarkably easy (or at least ours is) & I feel a little sheepish for ever shivering while waiting for
a technician's schedule. Though natural gas is one of those strangely commanding things that has a magical intimidation
about it, so I think that's most of why people wait for the pros. It's silent, deadly, can heat, can cook, is almost
undetectable... it's the stuff of legend. It's a little creepy to think how much we let it into our homes. But
now I'm warm & very glad it's there.
-Exit Em, stage Santa Barbara. I haven't been
able to stop saying "You'll love Santa Barbara!" in the sarcastic circa-1993 tone all week.
-This is the most
relaxed time of the year at work... after the winter holidays, but before summer. There's still plenty to do,
especially when I have to get the Current (our newsletter of 9 months that I started) out, but it's nice to have a
slightly less hectic pace. & one of my co-workers today said she felt bad for how many different things I have to
cover & how much I have to do. I flatly told her that after Seneca, there is no such thing as stress in my
life.
-Must... spread... word... One Million Blogs for Peace!
-I am really impressed by the outpouring of calls
& e-mails yesterday. I think it was some sort of record. So even if everyone flees the Bay, no one's going
that far. Thanks, everybody!
27
-I recognize that I'm an extremely picky eater. Vegetarianism alone is picky enough to utterly baffle
many people, but throw on top of that my tastebuds, & it's something that is understandably incomprehensible to the
average palate. Even if I didn't believe this myself, I have had years of friends making profuse fun of me, being
stunned by my proclivities, & just generally reacting to my opinion on food that has convinced me this is so. &
thus I try to live such that no one is ever in a position of having to adjust to (or anticipate) my tastes. I never
want anyone to cook for me. I like eating out, & strive to eat out every single meal. If this is impossible,
I try to have something simple & prepared that I can eat while others (like Emily's family) eat whatever they like to
eat. & under no circumstances will I let someone get food for me without a detailed, written list of instructions
& constant exhortations that it would be better & easier for me to just get something myself. But my boss
continually insists on trying to be in a position of procuring food for me. I understand why he does it & that it's
intended as a nice gesture. He's managerial by the book & management says that you periodically buy meals for
people, especially if you find out it's their birthday. Now this would all be well & good if I hadn't had an
extensive discussion with him the last time he tried to buy me lunch about just how picky an eater I am. About
how no one can anticipate my tastes & for that reason I was insisting on picking up the food instead of him going,
because someone's guaranteed to end up with something I find inedible if they try to order for me. I went into vast
detail about how fickle & unpredictable (to others) my tastebuds can be. But today, he insists on going, which is
somewhat fine, because he goes with written details about exactly what I order from a particular restaurant. But no one
could've anticipated that the restaurant would be out of falafel, & thus he returns with something laced with onions
(removable) & drenched with mayonnaise & mustard (irremovable). I don't think any of my regular readers will
need full-scale reminders of how many layers above most other deathly foods mayo is, for historical reasons. Suffice it
to say that I ended up eating roughly the middle 30% of this "lunch" (& the bag of chips) & feel both
hungry & unappreciated. I understand that it isn't his fault & in fact I should feel loved & appreciated by
this circumstance. But how can I convince people that really, under no circumstances, in any case imaginable, should
they ever attempt to buy food for me?
-Despite the issues above, I'm pretty happy overall this birthday. I always
seem to celebrate my New Year more around my birthday... it's close to the actual New Year & it always seems like the
best time to take stock of everything & sort out where things are headed. For the first birthday in a while, I'm in
a really good place. It doesn't hurt that my projects are where I want them to be, coming fast & furious. I
like my job, which I've had issues doing the last two birthdays. I'm getting comfortable with getting older &
things being on a wider trajectory. Getting. But overall, things are looking up & I don't have to spend my
whole turning of the year berating myself for things undone. Twenty-seven is looking like a good number to me.
-Basically celebrated my birthday today, with a
round of Ticket to Ride (I got shellacked), bowling (did much better), & dinner at Au Coquelet. Gris, Anna, &
Zimmy joined Emily & myself for the fun, & it occurred to me that all of my friends, already dwindling in this area,
could be gone by this time next year (or even earlier), as they are all applying to schools. Little makes me so
thankful in this world as the idea that I don't ever have to attend school again in my life. But little makes me so sad
as the idea that everyone is leaving the Bay. Regardless, we had one of the great debates, predominantly on the issue
of equating Israel's political behavior as a nation-state with the history of the Jews as a people. Zimmy, like so many
Brandeisians, is extremely left-wing on all non-Israeli issues, & to the right of Genghis Khan on all things Israel.
It makes for fun arguments.
-Slowly getting people signed up for One Million Blogs for Peace. Have you signed up yet?
-Just in case you didn't think I've put up
enough new content in the last 24 hours, the Blue Pyramid has just undergone its most comprehensive redesign
in history, to celebrate being around for five full years. Check it out & let me know what you think! The
rollover effects seem to take a little bit of time to load, but otherwise I'm pretty pleased with the result.
-The 1-31-07
ATHF/Boston video doesn't quite seem to have fallen off the radar yet, either. We made it to this article in the Boston Globe today.
We get a full paragraph on the second page of the article, buried underneath some other videos, but noted all the
same.
-Alexa has revamped their format & now tells me
(among other things) that I have the 3,493rd most popular site in Cuba. This makes me pretty happy. I wonder if
Fidel has taken the Country Quiz.
-I do wonder about their accuracy, however, because Sweden ranks high, while Finland
doesn't rank at all. & I have concrete proof through my scientific stat-trackers (Alexa is always a ballpark
estimation effort) that Finland should be way up there.
-I've updated the Exports page to shun some award-winning blogs to
Italics Purgatory & bring back Beth, who is back with a new blog!
-I am
very proud to announce the newest BP project: One Million Blogs for Peace! You can read all about
it there, but the basic idea is to get 1,000,000 bloggers united in a common movement against the Iraq War during the
upcoming fifth year of said conflict. It's ambitious, peace-oriented, & it's going to be a lot of fun. I will
also be running a separate, more traditional blog about the movement as it unfolds. I am very
excited about where this could go. In the meantime, please sign-up (if you agree) & tell everyone you know!
-Oh my goodness, they cheat at NASCAR?!
Next you're going to tell me that wrestling is fixed!
-I think a big part of the reason I'm never quite caught up
with all my website projects (QFG's answers, for example, have lapsed for months & the Search of the Week is not far
behind) is that I keep coming up with new ones. & now is no exception. Stay tuned for the upcoming launch of
perhaps the most exciting project yet. It's the things I can't stop getting excited about that really get fast-tracked,
as though my entire being suddenly united under a common will. This is going to be great.
Happy Birthday to J. Ariela
Maruri
-Woke up feeling a little sick this morning, but I think I've got it out of my
system. I haven't had a smoothie in 48 hours & this is my colossal fear with these things... that once your system
gets used to having those boosts, not having them will immediately throw your body into disrepair & illness. I'm
relieved that I don't think I'm actually sick, but worried that my main thought is to make sure to have a smoothie today to
throw things back into balance. Mmmm de facto addiction.
-Apparently the snow just doesn't stop in
Nuevo!
-I was prepared to post here about how the internet had solved the troubles with my scanner, because it recommended
I clean the glass & this led to back-to-back flawless scans (which hadn't happened in a long time). But this
morning, it failed again. Now I must admit that there was some mention on one of the forums about disassembling my
scanner into microscopic component pieces, cleaning each of them, & then reassembling it to functionality.
I don't know if I'm up for all that. For the record, it also makes no sense that the scanner can tell the
difference between imagery it scans & specks of dirt.
-I actually missed a train today... by about 30 seconds. I
think it's the first time I've been close but just plain missed it.
-The Mexicali Rose was giving out roses with dinner
tonight. I was stunned by the number of other people who chose that for their Valentine meal. It was just nice to
have Em in town for the day for the first time in our marriage.
-I don't think I have any friends who spend a ton
of time in Idaho, so it's probably a bit much to ask if this
article showed up in the print edition of the Idaho Statesman as well. But I'll take it... the Media section could
use the love.
-I'm not one of those folks who post a bunch of shuffle playlists, especially those going on for pages
(though any post would beat the post-rates of a lot of you folks out there... ahem), but this one I was offered by
Em's iTunes account was particularly interesting to me today... "Father of Mine" (Everclear), "Independence
Day" (Ani), "The Swing" (Everclear), & "Feelin' Groovy" (S&G). Basically a 4-song tour
through bitterness, detachment, reconciliation, & resolution. Not really relevant to today or earth-shattering, but
still an interesting musical jaunt. The patterns broke down thereafter, but these were the first four tunes it
offered.
-Uh, are we really still "searching for a motive" as to why a teenager would be shooting up a card
store two days before Valentine's Day? Really? I'd like to solve the puzzle. What is love?
-Thus embarks the last full week of me being 26.
I've been on a campaign to get myself used to being even older, so I've actually internalized it pretty well. The
number doesn't sound horrific, but I think that's mostly an aesthetic favoritism of sevens over sixes. I have a good
feeling about this year approaching, but it may be unfounded.
-Change is the only constant.
-We made up a to-do list for today & got a
startling amount done, though still way less that we'd hoped. Unfortunately, some of the most vital elements (tickets
for our two April jaunts east) are still unaccomplished. I did manage to get the APDA
Nationals 2007 site up, in the rose & gray of Vassar College. It's going to be a fun time, & hopefully I
can learn enough about modern APDA to properly assign judges & avoid the problems of yesteryear.
-Also on the debate
front, congratulations to 'Deis for breaking three teams at BU & Mark & Joel for making finals! I haven't heard
about the tournament from anyone directly yet, but I have this funny feeling that they flipped Gov & ran something
outrageously fun. Load up those Brandeis teams so I can see everyone this April!
-"Bobby" is a really disappointing
prelude to a great final 15-20 minutes. The movie feels nothing like 1968 & is filled with trite portrayals of
mostly bad people, right up till a closing scene that's incredibly well done & very '68. Bizarre. If you can,
watch a documentary of the year right before the last section of the film, instead of the rest of the film.
-Unfortunately, "Why am I here?" isn't
quite appropriate for a question for a question card at a big conference. I really would've enjoyed debating in that
hall though. & we mercifully were able to leave early, so it all ended well.
-It baffles me how much people are
willing to pay for parking in the city of San Francisco. After hearing a little about LA & NY rents, though, this
area still feels cheap.
-I can only be responsible for things that I know about.
-We pulled our Site Visit off like a charm &
with everything I knew about in on time. I was pretty proud to be representing FYCC today.
-More talk, less action! Or at least more
talk.
-A new idea that feels like a breakthrough: we need to do to drugs (alcohol, tobacco, psychotropics, & the
things this society actually terms "drugs") the same thing that has been done to racism, sexism, & so forth.
It is not illegal to be racist. It is illegal to deny jobs or housing on the basis, but the mere fact of being
racist is not a crime. When Michael Richards went on his insane racist tirade, no one came to lock him up. He was
not even brought before a judge on a community-service-yielding racism misdemeanor. For years, I have struggled with
the problems inherent to illegalizing any drugs & the disaster that was Prohibition in the face of the clear &
pressing need to deter & drastically reduce drug use to salvage humanity. This feels like the solution I have so
long looked for... to simply make it socially unacceptable. Create coalitions, hold marches, protests, rallies, provide
evidence of the insanity of mind-altering substances everywhere. I am now officially in favor of legalizing all drugs
& implementing the same tactics used to quell racism & sexism. I feel like a very small pilot of this has been
conducted with tobacco with remarkable evidence of its success. Strengthening that & implementing it on a universal
scale might just do the trick.
-The State Quiz was often fabled to check IP addresses rather than actually follow the path
of the quiz's questions. That's how accurate it can be. But this is the first documented case of the
same theory being applied to the 2008 Presidential Ticket Quiz!
-I got hit in the back with the Routine Stick this
morning, with it occurring to me how staid my weeks are in many ways. Any amount of predictability grates on me pretty
quickly, even if it's good predictability. I love my job, but I would do a lot to shake up routines like having to eat
& even commute. I can understand why my boss has declared Thursdays his work-from-home days. It's really at
the basic level, though... the showering & meals & such... where I start to feel like a robot. Oh look, I'm
just a food processor! There's really no way around things like that on this planet, & they have the slightly
positive impact of making me want to go jump into the middle of something unprecedented. Maybe I'm just bummed that our
video seems to have run its course. A lot more than 20,000 people would enjoy it, but so it goes...
-It is important
to always be reading a book which one enjoys, at least when commuting. Sometimes trying to slog through a borderline
book can make the train twice as long, or even actively annoying. Sailing through a well-written tome will make the
trip a destination of its own. At least when one gets a seat... which has been a challenge in recent mornings since
they've chopped a car from my regular route.
-Back from Fresno after the classic late night drive
up after the SuperBowl. It's hard to care about teams like Chicago & Indianapolis, but I liked the Blockbuster
commercial with the rabbit, guinea pig, & mouse.
-& suddenly, it's back to work time.
[from Clovis,
California]
-I get easily overwhelmed at times like this... there are just so many
people around at all times. I've been trying to balance my tendency to be a bit of a hermit amongst the whole clan with
the importance of being a bit social. It's just a time when I feel everyone feels a bit awkward... maybe it's just
me.
[from Clovis,
California]
-Came down late last night on the train, running into many chatty folks on
the platform, but ending up sleeping almost the whole way down. Turns out I forgot many things in the effort to bring
everything Em wanted me to bring, but so it goes. Who needs stuff at a time like this?
-Our video seems to be doing
quite well for itself, collecting fifteen honors last night & taking over a fair chunk of YouTube's attention.
Though signs pointed to it really taking over, which in the morning turned out to be greatly
exaggerated.
-The service for Em's grandmother was very nice, with a beautiful eulogy by Will & a really nice
slideshow by Paul. Em offered the Hopi Prayer for the Soul's Graduation as well. Thank goodness for funerals...
without them, I think some people would never show emotion.
-Russ, Greg, & myself have spent the last 7
hours constructing this video on the events of 1/31/07, based on an
idea that hit me like a freight train on my way to work this morning. If you're bothered by ATHF, you won't like it,
but if you see the humor in the situation... I'm exhausted, but awfully happy with the result.
-We have made the front page of Digg. That is all. We are
on our way.
-I don't even know where to begin with this story. Apparently it was blaring all over
the airwaves yesterday as I worked, but I came home, got on the internet & the top story on CNN had a picture of
Ignignokt. This was too weird to believe... surely the Onion had taken over the news! But no, it was real, &
the media continues to crucify ... advertising. We talked this to death on the Mep Report last night &
especially after the tape was rolling, but I am still confounded by how profoundly stupid the city of Boston & its
officials have been in their entire handling of this thing. The Massachusetts AG actually described the light-up
ads, saying "It had a very sinister appearance. It had a battery behind it, and wires." Can you
imagine? Lights running on a battery with wires?! It's clearly the terrorists coming to get
us all! I sincerely hope they tear down all advertising with lights. These ads had been there for weeks, & no
one said anything until now. They had been in other cities for weeks, & no one said anything elsewhere. I'm
sorry, but the first indication that any even moderately competent terrorist had planted a bomb would be its explosion.
The fact remains that there is absolutely no effective prevention against suicide bombing or bombs left somewhere &
detonated remotely or on a timer. The fact that such attacks have not been levied indicates a lack of interest in
people performing such attacks, & nothing more. The only hoax here is that there is some looming threat to be
afraid of, not a reasonable series of goofy-looking ads with... oh my God, wires!
-Aubrey Ingraham (1910-2007). This was not
altogether unexpected, & Em was actually planning on going down to Fresno later today as her condition was deteriorating.
She's heading down there this morning instead. The last couple of years for Emily's grandmother were not the
best for memory & lucidity, but she still maintained some of her spirited wit from years prior. A good long life,
though.
-In a nation with different guiding principles, we
would not have Microsoft Vista... now or ever. The US guiding principle is likely progress, often at any cost
& regardless of who is regressing to provide for this illusory goal. #2 might be get rich quick, the seedy
Biercian reality behind the lofty phrase The American Dream. A better embodiment of these principles than Vista
is hard to find, with the understanding that the fastest road to gold-paved progress is surely planned obsolescence.
It's so much work to make actual progress in leaps & bounds, so why not phase it in over time, every five years for
the rest of your life! More & more, I am convinced that they have a secret vault somewhere of 50-GHz processors,
6650x5000 resolution monitors, & a host of mind-blowing technologies that will be rolled out to the consumer base at a
numbingly slow, but seemingly exciting pace roughly reflective of the last decade or so. In a country whose guiding
principles were, say, tradition and honesty, there would be no Microsoft Vista. (& far be it from me
to defend tradition really, I'm just making a point.) In such a nation, Windows would be releasing its 150th free
upgrade today, patching over the latest advances of hackers, & speaking about glorious centuries of the operating system
to come. Heck, we might still have DOS in that society, & then we'd all be better off! I know what you
pro-American capitalists are smugly thinking: "But Storey, in that society, we wouldn't have computers! We
would be pounding rocks together to make newspapers!" Guiding principles, folks, not the only ones. A
bit of science & technology isn't bad, as long as it's tempered. & the profit motive is always bad, because it
trains us all to be little monkeys, jumping at bait dangled by those who control everything. Poor little
monkeys.
-With ever-increasing conviction, I am beginning to believe that the root of all the ill that is committed by
human beings in this world is the result of one thing: Fearful people feeling threatened. I guess greed
could account for some of it. But isn't greed deeply rooted in the fear of not having enough resources to survive?
I suppose there are those who just want to feel power over others, the truly maniacal evil-doers. It's an
interesting study as to whether they all can be traced to fears & threats or not. I'm still going to commit to
about 90%. The leading cause of everything bad you can think of. It's right there.
-I was somewhat incommunicado this weekend, &
I'm not really sure why. I wanted focal discipline (surprise) to work on some lapsing projects, & at least I got
started. Other things were somewhat more difficult. I don't anticipate any near-future repeat of this, but it
seemed like the thing to do at the time.
-Nothing makes me quite so angry as doing taxes. That's not exactly true...
a lot of things make me very angry. But taxes seem to impact me profoundly & drive me nuts. There are a lot
of factors... arcane & overly extensive instructions, the fact that PIRG withholds roughly 5 cents a year from Em's
paycheck (requiring a massive adjustment check each year), the fact that I have a seemingly infinite number of tiny sources
of income (e.g. advertising on this site), the little friendly graph that tells me personal income tax makes 3.5 times the
contribution to the Feds that corporate taxes do, the similar graph that informs me "national defense" is the
largest outlay of funds (though all my money is going to education, national parks, & museums). The taxes
themselves took me the least amount of time ever, though if they really cared, they could probably bounce back my 1040EZ,
saying I needed to fill out three times the paperwork & "show my work". I never liked showing my work in
math class or logic class, so why should I when it's the IRS? I doubt they'll toss up any roadblocks for that.
Not for an old crook like me. Given that I claim more income than has been reported to them, they should be fine.
It is a sweet relief to be done, though there is residual anger.
-Spent an ill-advised night last night reading
through the first half of 2005 of Introspection. I even re-called the fact that I bluntly warned myself 2 exact months
ahead of the catalytic day... writing "consider myself warned" on 16 March, only to not
have heeded by 16 May. I say "re" because I analyzed this for myself already, on
11 June. The idea that this was all less than 2 years ago kind of blew my mind, even though
I'm often mentioning the experiences of Seneca to my Glide co-workers, or recounting the trauma in my mind at a given idle
moment. I think it's been cataloged next to other similar moments there, all of which are older. Am I wiser?
I must be. This must all be going somewhere. At least I've found myself in the best (work) position ever
now, so that lends credence to me.
-6-0, 6-1. But we're both getting better & having fun. Even on cold,
blustery evenings.
-Progress? Really?
-It never gets easier.
-Patterns patterns
patterns. How long do we have to struggle with the same things? How long the petrifying fear of change? How
long the inadaptability of the most adaptable species on Earth?
-What is this strange beast called a not
overwhelming Friday at work?
-Sometimes I feel like a sailboat torpedoed, only to find that it was a false alarm & the
ship has righted itself after plunging underwater for a bit. Baffled, I wonder how such a thing could be possible &
it naturally dominates my thoughts & concerns for far too long after. As long as there is no appearance of
torpedoes in the water, all can be placid & calm. But calling the torpedoes phantoms doesn't make them go
away.
-I had to take the van out to drop off some tiny
hats & mittens that no one could use at our center (we were glutted) at Goodwill. On the way back to the parking
lot, I heard the song "High School Never Ends" for the first time in my life & was immediately enthralled.
I didn't hear the whole thing, but the last two minutes were solid gold. This put me in a good mood for about 5
seconds, before I had to park the bloody van in the back corner of our parking lot, reversing all the way, with
uncommunicative help.
-Migraine: 7 hours*, left side, significant, caused by insufficient food.
-Ah, the
synchronization!
-Migraine: 11 hours, right side, severe,
caused by fluorescent lights.
-After roughly a decade of sleep, I feel remarkably better physically. My mind is
a bit offset by a variety of marginal to horrifying dreams, including an especially difficult one where I was living with
David Kunkel & his mother in Baghdad, debating about when it was safe to leave the heavily fortified domicile. The
point is that I'm doing much better... better than I could've hoped to feel at this point.
Happy Birthday to Geoff
Dean
-Something's gotta give with this illness... going to work took a ton out of me
yesterday, so I'm not doing that again today.
-Well instead of something giving, how about getting a migraine? I'm
not sure I could feel any worse than I do right now... any additional pains would merely take the pressure off something else
& make it a wash.
-I feel like I'm feeling better this morning, but
not sure if it's better enough. Bleh.
-I just want to take this moment to thank all the fine folks at the new Vox.com for their rampant late support of the BP. It appears to be a new blogging site hoping
to seamlessly integrate all the popular bells & whistles (YouTube, Flickr, etc.) with standard blogging fare. It
also appears to be a haven of bloggers who had never had contact with BP quizzes until the last week. Welcome,
Voxers!
-Well another weekend goes plummeting down the drain
(primarily) as this sickness has just dominated my experience. This has not been a terribly good month since returning
from Nuevo. I wish I knew if this were something that is going to go away naturally in a couple days or if it won't go
away until I get antibiotics or something. I think my lungs are just inflamed somehow & it should be gone in a few
days, but I don't know if taking time off work to rest will help or be about the same.
-I have come down with a strange illness... a mighty
cough that is heavy & frequent, combined with an achiness (though not quite traditional soreness) in my throat. It
is incredibly exhausting & I feel highly debilitated. It seems a little like a low-level bronchitis, & it's
something unique in my experience in life thus far. It's better than a sore throat in overall feeling, but completely
overwhelming for no really good reason. Yuck.
-Today is the 2,504th day of Introspection! I
note this only because I forgot to actually note the date at the time (though it is documented in the header graphic
currently). That number is more staggering to me than I'd like to contemplate. At least I've used my time here
for something...
-Time has leveled up again. It's moving even faster than before. Another year, another step
up. I would believe that it's Monday if you really worked hard to convince me. Another weekend already?
You've got to slow your Mustang down.
-I've really got to stop pushing lunch back to 4:30.
I wouldn't let anyone else get away with it.
-Video stores may be even worse than grocery stores for soul-sucking
depression, stagnation, & even paralysis. Something about the way they're designed makes me never want to watch a
movie again, let alone do anything less recreational.
-I feel like I'm supposed to be sick, but my body won't quite let me
get actually sick. I'm definitely feeling overdue for an illness this season, but I'm realizing that these smoothies
& their silly immunity boosts may actually be building me an immune system. They can't hold up forever, but I think
they're stunning my body by staving off the annual winter cold.
-Last night, I was exhausted for no reason, but the
workday was quite pleasant, thus allaying my fears carried over from the Friday prior. Em pointed out a truly pivotal
point that I seem to have my worst days at this job prior to trips, holidays, or 3-day weekends. I was literally
stunned by the relevance of this revelation, & the fact that I hadn't put it together myself. This made me feel a
lot better about everything, because that pattern means it isn't a more worrisome pattern of things generally trending down.
Which they aren't.
-Today, we had a wipeout at work. Four of the five managers were out, plus both family
advocates. I had to co-conduct an interview for the first time ever to help cover the tremendous shortfall. The
bulk of the day felt like a plague had hit our building, with only scattered teachers remaining immune. This wound up
meaning that I officially caught up today, & was even able to fix the printer which had smoldering paper lodged in
it.
-I can't believe 2007 is nearly 5% done already. There are times I can work myself into a near-panic thinking
about things like that. Or the fact that I'm just over a month shy of 27. Good God. That's the age
my Dad always claimed to be because it was a bastion of vibrant youthful adulthood. & while it was always crazy, it
was always a Dad number more than a me number. I need to get crazy with accomplishment, & fast. Twenty-seven!
I feel woozy.
-Well, that's to be expected. The key is to
not get caught up in it.
-I was going to post about the extreme irony of Drew winning the Emotional Honesty BPBP &
then promptly password-protecting his blog, but it turns out it was for Google-ducking purposes. The point is that it's
unlocked again, so the spirit lives on. "But the soul still burns..."
-So maybe that gargantuan number
from a few months back was a bit inflated, but you've
gotta trust the UN, right? I think so. 11 & a third September 11ths this year. Incidentally,
I think we should start officially using "September 11ths" as a widely accepted term for numbers of deaths to put
in dramatic relief how many horrible deadly events there are that should (but don't) outweigh that day in popular
consciousness. Just to drum reality into peoples' heads. For example, "Hunger caused over 2,000 September
11ths this year." or "Hunger deaths have equaled about 5 September 11ths daily for decades." Finally
(also incidentally), I notice when looking at the above link that CNN classifies their Middle East category as
"meast", which somehow seems like a perfect description for the behemoth of struggle that region often can be.
Who reading cannot imagine going to visit the vicious meast just acquired by the local zoo, which uses its oversized
jaws to torture its victims in its clutches, or warily eye the remarkably cute meast cub while pitying that it cannot stay
that benign forever? Release the meast!
-Spent a great day at Point Reyes with Gris &
Anna (Em had to work today despite the holiday) hiking up & down the peninsula, enjoying the view, the cloudless weather,
& the multitude of elk along the trail. The drive up was somewhat long & quite windy, but 'twas easily worth it
for the six or so miles we put in on foot. We hit some great Mexican food on the way back that was incredibly
filling.
-I'm not the biggest fan of awards shows generally, but it's really hard for me to take the Golden Globes
seriously. Every award is redundant with some more important one, so it's like a ceremony of silver medals.
-I
really managed to do next to nothing on this extremely recreational three-day weekend, but I think that's probably okay.
Often one needs to do nothing in order to do something.
-Broke out the new tennis rackets for my first
game-style play of the sport in what has to be close to a decade. I beat Em 6-0, 6-0, 6-1, but we're both a long way
from being any good, as there were a lot of service faults & general errors. I think we both improved greatly over
the time that we spent playing & a few more sessions might bring us close to being able to play with someone else &
not get totally steamrolled. Maybe.
-The problem with exercise is that it makes one tired. This is
predictable, though it really seems like some advocates of lots of physical activity tend to forget this.
-After yesterday's misery, I felt I needed something
to clear my mind & give me a bit of a thrill, so last night I decided to find & go to the closest live no-limit poker
game, even if that meant driving to Napa. Turns out, there's been such a place under my nose this whole time, making me
feel foolish & sad that I've wasted time (& some money) trying to figure out the limit game at Oaks. Well Oaks
is officially history after my first trip to San Pablo netted me a $118 haul. I was up a bit more than that earlier,
but managing to leave before losing much of the winnings is perhaps the hardest challenge in live no-limit. The game is
probably the best design of poker for my play I could imagine, with a $100 minimum AND maximum buy-in, so there's complete
equality in where people start out (though of course you can keep your $700-1,000 on the table if you earn it there, &
people do). The blinds are called "2-2-2, 4-to-go" which means your table rent is $6 per round (button &
both blinds), but that buys you no flops... all flops are at least $4. It's near-perfect. I had a great time
despite waiting close to 2 hours for a table, had good conversation, & more than doubled up in about 3 table hours.
I have a feeling this could quickly become a regular activity for me. Even if the cashier tried to up-sell me on
my way out, noting that if I stuck around, I could double my money in just one hand. Don't worry cashier lady, I'll be
back.
-Migraine: 7 hours, left side, moderate, caused by toothache.
-So I was already having by far the worst day I've
had at work since... ever at this job... when a pigeon decided to unload on my head. & the day's only gotten worse
from there, with or without picking bird feces out of my hair. There are days when one just has to give up.
-The Book List
is super-hot right now, nearly outpacing all the quizzes combined for total traffic in the last 24 hours. There has
certainly never been a time before when that's been even close to the case. I don't know what's getting everyone so
excited, but it's cool.
-My wonderful animal-free belt of nearly four years broke in two a few days ago, & I have
since been made aware of a lot more about my life with belts than I ever would have realized otherwise. In the process
of either borrowing a belt from Emily or going without, I have discovered that I have the exact same philosophy about belts
as I do about shoelaces... they should be worn at the tightest possible level at all times. Granted that belts tend to
be absolute necessities for me in a way that tight shoes do not, because without them, my pants would literally fall off of
me most of the time. But having a belt tight enough to keep my pants on & loose enough to not be super-tight is
still an obnoxious feeling. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming that does not involve massive
over-analysis of clothing habits...
-Follow up: Alexa is on board with the
new hotness of the Book List.
-Scorps on a plane! If only it had been US
Airways to incur my extended wrath...
-Working a full day as hard as I can, missing lunch, & not being able to catch
up can be disheartening. Really just exhausting. But then again, I don't have to worry outside of the hours of
8:30-5.
-I read something in the Examiner yesterday about the
proposed street-corner surveillance cameras for, among other places in SF, the corner nearest my work. The article told
me that 233 crimes were committed on said corner last year. At first, I was taken aback (this is .64 crimes a day), but
then I realized that I routinely commit a crime on that corner at least 4 times a day (jaywalking). This made me
realize that in an unjust state, a phrase like "crimes" without specification becomes utterly meaningless. I
witness many more serious crimes on the corner all the time... primarily drug crimes, but also the occasional assault. I've
probably seen at least 233 crimes in the act of commission, maybe many more. But if someone happens to be selling drugs
near me, is that really something I'm concerned about? No more so than walking by a bar, certainly. How
irresponsible is it to have statistics that lump rapes, speeding, murders, draft dodging, thefts, fraud, tax evasion, the
sale of marijuana, assault, and jaywalking all into the same category? How could anyone make a judgment about such a
statistic? I additionally just don't understand what all the fuss is about having a camera posted on a street corner
when over half the population walks every street armed with a cellphone camera. The only difference between them is
that the latter cover more ground & are likely actually being watched by someone.
-Sometimes, the best e-mail one
receives in a day can be from the person least known to you, and entirely incidental in its transcendent humor.
-I just
corrected each day since the 3rd of the year from "2006" to "2007". Looks like I'm not ready for
this year after all.
-It creeps in like a stray cat, then washes over with
a wave. It impacts every breaking-point decision, just at the edges, before later preventing them altogether. It
couldn't be less like a disease, but it will take over if you don't fight it. & when you don't have the energy to
fight it...
Happy Birthday to Natalie
Garin
-Spent a surprisingly dull day yesterday in Tracy, waiting for someone to want to
play games or do something. I did get in my normal running around time with the kids, who are all getting old enough to
verbalize & start to be interesting. I also got invested in the Seahawks game, which turned out to be incredibly
exciting at the end, despite still being, y'know, a football game. At least one Seattle team can be doing well these
days. Then I cleaned up in TTR Marklin.
-The less said about this day, the better. What is to be done?
-"Children of Men" is very good, but I
would do anything to have not seen a preview for it.
-I can't say enough good about my routine at work.
Fridays seem to manage to be the busiest for weird reasons, but when it's 5, I can not worry about things till Monday.
Which more & more seems like a required element of any job I can enjoy.
-What was that phrase from years ago?
Something about making life difficult? That sounds about right.
-Finally made it home last night, with many thanks to
Gris for picking us up with our abundant luggage. I am not really ready for work, but I don't have a choice. With
the extra two days of absence, it should be even more challenging to catch back up, but hopefully January is as relatively
chill as predicted.
-The day was slow, as could have been anticipated (first days of any kind always run slow), but quite
good overall. I got a little tired of talking about the snow & the trip back, but I'm not going to complain about a
workplace where I have close to 20 people interested in talking to me.
[from
Albuquerque]
-Had an epic Risk game with Em, Jake, & my Dad, where a mid-turn
turn-in for 70 finally sealed the deal for me. Em has played less than I assume, & less recently, & my Dad
still clearly is able to put his years of Risk experience to use (he finished second). We all had a great time, &
it was a nice send-off for this extended journey.
-Never try to change the status quo too much on a last day somewhere.
One risks losing the whole thing.
-With any luck, we'll finally be winging our way Bayward today, after a 60-hour
delay & much wrestling with US Airways. Catch you on the flipside.
[from
Albuquerque]
-Migraine: 6 hours, left side, severe, caused by
movie.
-I think sitting further back in the theater makes the likelihood of migraines from a movie much greater.
I have been casually tracking this, & it seems to hold up. At least this one was quite short & much
improved by throwing up.
[from
Albuquerque]
-Spent a relatively wild New Year's at Fish's, another one rung in there
for the ages. There was a great deal of drinking (& ratio for the singles), but we managed to pull off some Mafia
early in 2007, much to Em's surprise & my joy. Chalk up a millionth time of people being amazed that I'm the one
who doesn't drink, but is somehow crazier than everyone. Just as we were about to leave, we found out that our 6 AM
flight had been cancelled, despite the same flight the morning prior taking off just 9 minutes late, in comparable weather
conditions (snow, ice, fog). So it looks like we'll be here... till Wednesday afternoon. I personally don't mind
staying at all, but I'm frustrated by missing work & the airline apparently not offering us much compensation.
We'll see how that works out once my Dad gets involved...
-Well, much involvement, but not much to be done. I
put in some phone time with US Airways/America West & I can't say as I recommend anyone ever flying them. They're
getting close to Compaq levels of unusability. At first they said we could switch to another carrier, we found a
Southwest flight, they then said anyone but Southwest, then we found one of their own flights on Orbitz, they said this
wasn't a seat but an option to get in the back of the line for an oversold flight, then someone else said we couldn't get on
another carrier at all. In the end, we get nothing but a waste of half a day. But there's always something to be
learned, I s'pose.
-"Blood Diamond" may be one of the more important movies to see this year, if you can manage
to actually watch it.
[from
Albuquerque]
-Wandered around the neighborhood yesterday, went sledding in the
Heights (even managing to haul out my old-school DC wood-&-runner sled for a few runs), & wound up at Fish's for a
classic McFeeley dinner. We wrapped it up with some three-handed bridge & an eventual attempt to come home on the
icy roads, which led to a 4th Street U-turn & spending the night. What's an Albuquerque vacation if you can't crash
the tank?
-I put too much pressure on calendar dates, on year ends & beginnings. I wanted to write something
about the death of a year, of what to make of it, of how to treat this passing of time. But the real significance is in
the use of time, especially here, especially now. Friends of half my life, parents of my whole life, my wife the
relative newcomer. I will evaluate 2006 when I have the chance to catch my breath. Life will always give me time
for over-analysis, fear not.
[from
Albuquerque]
-As of 5:30 this morning, there is a good 8-10 inches on the ground,
& the storm continues to swirl like a stalled-out hurricane over the state of New Mexico. This has to be
approaching some sort of record, at least for the time that my family has been here. How excited I am that I'm here for
this storm! I would be devastated to miss such a massive snowfall, which may be the largest snowfall I've ever seen in
a place I've lived. It may even be the largest snowfall for a place during the time I've been there, though both
Glasgow & Shaver Lake must be competitive. How I love snow!
[from
Albuquerque]
-Snow! About time. After it didn't come yesterday, I was very
concerned that it wouldn't be showing up at all. Now the storm seems almost as big as the one I missed just prior to
coming here.
-It's been snowing all day & there was enough accumulation for us to go out & build a snowman.
It wound up a little formless, & looking very much like a Russian peasant, but was great fun to construct.
-It
doesn't look like the parties & hang-outs scheduled for today are going to traverse the 4 inches of snow, nor the slush
becoming ice all over the roadways.
-Spent a wonderful evening playing Clue & Scrabble with Em & my parents,
reminding the latter as always that we have a grand time playing games. It seems to take a while to get the momentum
going, but then we all enjoy it greatly when it's underway. I took both the Clue games, but my Dad's all-7-letter use
on unreeler proved insurmountable in Scrabble.
[from
Albuquerque]
-Despite twinges in my back yesterday, went bowling last night with a
myriad crew. I bowled relatively poorly, in descending form, posting a 136 average over 4 games. That wasn't too
terrible, but losing 3 successive bets (including a record 2 to Fish!) certainly was no good.
-It is a merry Christmas, if
a few days delayed by our own choice. It seems that the old haunts of Oregon will be joining three East Coast jaunts in
2007. Otherwise, we had many books, CD's, & calendars changing hands, as per usual.
[from
Albuquerque]
-Had a remarkably depressing time yesterday at the fabled Anodyne pool
hall/bar/smokatorium. The smoke from the casino (slight) & bar (significant) has dried out my lips & lungs.
Not everywhere can have California standards, sadly. I don't know why I expect anything less than to be absurdly
sad when everyone around me is drinking, but sometimes I head back into the fray anyway. My back was also hurting to a
massive degree, making pool difficult & eventually even standing or sitting a challenge. I feel like a major
relapse on the back front is impending. I just said back front.
-Sometimes I don't know why I even bother.
-This
whole trip has been utterly surreal, as though it weren't really happening but were some warped dream of coming to
Albuquerque. I am convinced that subconscious sputterings are calling the shots.
[from
Albuquerque]
Happy Birthday to Paul Garin V
-Migraine: 15 hours, right side, moderate, caused by movie.
-Went up to Sandia Casino for my
first ever entrance into a New Mexico gambling establishment. They have highly alluring 1/2 no-limit tables, which
Freez, Fish, & Emily joined me on. I won $73, though lost $25 more on the last hand I played, while Em dropped a
hundred to give us a slight net loss. Our overall party won money, mostly on the back of a ridiculous haul by Freez,
who apparently cashed in his sixth straight visit there. Suffice it to say that I had a great time, & live no-limit
is truly wonderful. If only I could convince Oaks to adopt some of these tables.
-Garcia's & bridge nicely
rounded out the evening.
[from
Albuquerque]
Happy Birthday to Holly Harper
-Well I didn't collapse from exhaustion early last night as is my trend after all the luminarias, so of
course it was time to keel over for far too much sleep once I did get to bed. Though I just looked at the clock &
it's two full hours earlier than I thought it was. Time is different here... nearly everything is, including how hungry
I tend to get. Part of it all must be altitude, but a lot of it is just New Mexico. Regardless, we have postponed
Christmas behavior (gifts, dinner, & such) until the 28th so we could have time to get gifts & leave the last couple
days for luminarias. Today, it might just be time to go to the movies.
-Okay, I will admit that I now probably
deserve a fair bit of flack. I just looked up the past few Introspection entries for 24ths of December spent in
Albuquerque. My "taking it easy" this year may have actually been the most lumis we've ever put up at this
address. Both '04 & '02 netted exactly 507 luminarias each, which in itself is a remarkable fact. '01
was simply described as "less that 500". '00 may have been more, but I didn't post the number & it seems
highly unlikely that I would've surpassed 525 lumis the day before leaving for Scotland (especially if I'd known how hurt I
would get there). '99 may well have been some extravaganza (I feel like 576 is the record... that number is etched in
my mind for some reason), but otherwise yesterday was the record. But I stand by it... I paced myself better than I
have in years, if not ever.
[from
Albuquerque]
-Sometimes it just isn't your year.
-Went to Garcia's & played
games with much of the old crew, including a rivetingly competitive game of Oh Hell where Freez bested me by 3 points, &
a similarly close game of Boggle that I emerged out of a 3-way tie on the last round. Coopoly & Risk were
discussed, but set aside for the time being. There may be cards of a different color on the day after Christmas.
-So
much work to do on lumis!
-Wound up with a display of 525 luminarias, which I couldn't imagine was possible given how
little of the yard we covered. I made good on my pledge to not touch a ladder this year, avoiding even the side wall
& arch, let alone the roof. The front courtyard area was a bit anemic too, without much on the inside of the walls.
Still, all the new patterns & raised structures in the very front took attention, & we double-bagged the front
walk (it's raised slightly, allowing for two tiers), so the display was still pretty solid. Em was an immense help this
year, while my parents did nothing after folding bags leading up to our arrival. There was also a massive wind problem
right before & around lighting time. We were relatively sheltered from it - I saw entire displays down the road
that got blown over before lighting - but still had about 10 full bag fires, which were perhaps the first 10 ever.
There had to be one or two sometime in the past. They're not nearly as scary as one would imagine (again, I saw
many in the neighborhood going off much of the night), but one near this very frondy plant was of concern. An
additional 15 bags wound up with little holes in them from brief contact with the flame, requiring some replacement &
some mere relighting. No one believed that I was taking it easy this year, but I feel I was. Some year, I'm going
to come a week before Christmas, work hard for the whole time, & we're going to put 1,000 of them out there. But
for now, this is great.
-My parents do like their entertaining. But Fish & his fam & Lisha & her sister
showed up to make the party far more interesting for Em & I.
[from
Albuquerque]
-Got in at around 4 this morning, then promptly waited 45 minutes for our
luggage to come off a flight that had to be hours & hours later than any other. At least we hadn't come through
Denver. Fish was a champ in picking us up, & the Frontier has repealed their closure on weekends overnight to avoid
bar traffic (they had instated this a few months ago in reaction to the rowdiness of this crowd). So we ate & came
home to surprisingly find my parents wide awake & anticipating our arrival. The new lodge room that is serving as
my Mom's office is probably my favorite of all my Dad's many room designs over the years. It's been 12 hours of travel,
but it's definitely home.
-Long way to go on luminarias, but I promise to relax & take it easy this year.
-Just sat down & wrote the next 12 Duck &
Covers, for today through the 2nd of January. Some of them are some of my favorites in awhile... I'm elated because I
woke up early to get them all done before the trip, I kept a good level of consistency on them, & the scanner worked on
just the 2nd try! & since once it starts working, it works for a good bit of time thereafter, I was able to do all
12 in one shot. Very exciting. I'm going to try to release them daily as normal since I should have (dial-up)
access in Nuevo.
-Now packing may be another matter altogether...
-Save some snow for me, Albuquerque!
-I've been on quite a tear of great percentile
finishes in big poker tourneys that net very little money proportional to the time it takes to get there. Still, it
builds confidence & sure beats losing money. Must... crack... through...
-QFG is back & I put up the 2008 Quiz Stats page. & my complete bafflement with Bush's decision to
increase troop levels in Iraq is expressed in D&C. Suffice it to say that this war may yet make Vietnam look
like a joke.
-After talking to co-workers, few people felt the 3.7 earthquake last night in the hills above Berkeley &
Oakland, but I felt it during the Mep Report! Be sure to tune into Mep Report 61 for continued earthquake hijinx!
-I
just can't shake an uncanny feeling of destiny. I wish I could, believe me. But... Have you ever thought
your future self was leaving you clues? Or that, since perhaps all time exists at once, you can sense the impending
nature of the big stuff well before it happens, or at certain heavily imprinted moments? All the time.
-Got to see a movie on work's time & dime
today, in exchange for a portion of my many errands with the gargantuan van today. The movie was, of course, the very
relevant "Pursuit of Happyness" (my second viewing thereof), which is about one of Glide's former clients. A
good time was had by all, though we returned to discover that the building really does seem to have a hard time without us
there.
-I'm glad it's been cold in SF lately, to better prepare me for the real chill that will be Nuevo. Been
getting a little complacent, & going from 60 to 25 overnight is no good.
-This is me waving to all the new fans of the
quizzes in Croatia! Croatia joins a long list of countries (most recently Estonia, & most notably Taiwan &
Finland) to get hooked on the BP.
-Snow in Albuquerque! Near record levels! Why couldn't have this waited just
one week? Still, as long as it stays cold, I'll get to see much of the glory, I hope. So exciting!
-The craziness is now primarily behind me, after I
awoke at 3 this morning to be into work just before 6 to help run the Old Navy/Steve Fox Shopping Spree. We had to
shuttle nearly 200 kids with a corresponding number of volunteers into a clothing store for two hours, then get them all
home, while simultaneously monitoring & tracking (or trying to) everyone. Another exhausting experience, but one
that was well worth it for the looks of joy on all the kids' faces. I'm fuzzy-tired again, but haven't managed to want
to sleep for hours upon hours after getting home (early). & it's mostly cruising from here till we leave for Nuevo
in four days!
-After checking the list, I just realized that I have read more than 20 books this year. That might
not sound like much to you speed-readers out there, but for someone who has been struggling with reading painfully slowly
over recent years, & never as much as I'd like, it's pretty great. Given that much of it is aided by my new commute
structure, & that I started working at Glide in May, it makes the idea of doing the 50-books-in-a-year thing seem not
utterly crazy. I mean, still a little crazy, but not utterly. Naturally, this abundance of books is going to make
the annual top five into a dogfight. I've been trying to track them as I go, but I have no real idea where the
just-finished The Year of Magical Thinking belongs. I know it belongs in the top five somewhere, but I'm
wrestling with ideas of it being in each of the five spots. It was certainly the most gripping read of all the books of
2006, but not necessarily the best. But maybe it was. It certainly didn't disappoint me in any of the myriad ways
I was anticipating it might. In this way, it was unlike most of the movies I've seen lately.
Happy Birthday to William
Garin
-Though I did them a little later in the year last year, & there are still two
weeks to go, it's a very busy two weeks ahead. So let's uncork... the 2006 BPBP's! I'm a little trepid about
ramping these up, given that last year's served as a bit of curse. The two main winners last year both ditched blogging
by the middle of the year... though Beth had an awfully good reason. ReadySteadyGo has managed a late comeback, which
is appreciated, but still posted just once in a 4-month, 10-day stretch. Freez definitely handled '06 better than the
rest of the '05 winners, but drifted to football overanalysis quite often. Despite the precedent, here come this year's
winners...
-The 2006 Blue Pyramid Blog Plaudit for Emotional Honesty goes to quemarropa. This blog navigated a gut-wrenching & complicated
break-up with unrestrained openness & a fantastic cross-section view of the emotional fallout that followed. In
breathtaking detail, the roller-coaster ride was embarked with day-to-day updates of every peak & valley. I must
note a small demerit for the deletion of one post, which is contrary to the principles of Emotional Honesty, but the overall
body of work still dominated this field.
-The 2006 Blue Pyramid Blog Plaudit for Humor goes to Count Me Out. While infrequent with the posting, this blog staged a
late comeback with a multimedia experience of primarily funny material. Comics, pseudo-historical stories, &
phrases like "What is the most discouraging thought that that frog could ever have without ever deciding to give
up?", this one edged out other infrequent posters for the '06 title. Honorable mention goes to Adam Duritz for the seagull entry, which at times had me in irretrievable
stitches.
-The 2006 Blue Pyramid Blog Plaudit for Best New Blog goes to Scrawl (my name with yours...). This is a win by default if I've ever
seen one, this being literally the only blog started in 2006 that made the list. I'm not saying it wouldn't have beaten
some competitors, but after a roaring start in Guatemala, the blog has fallen to only posting twice since 18 October.
Time will tell if this is a fade or just a lull.
-I wanted to add a category a year with this thing, but it's really
hard to imagine what else I would do, or who would win other things. So many people have faded or outright quit this
year, that there are only a handful of blogs who consistently stay out of Italics Purgatory. I've thought about doing a
Frequent Poster Award, but I don't have the energy to literally count posts in the high-frequency blogs. So this will
hold till next year, & hopefully more people will start & others will ramp up in 2007.
-Yesterday went extremely well, but I'm not sure
I've been so tired in months. Not to mention sore. But our apparently usually quite frenetic Adopt-a-Family
distribution day went smoothly, was spread out over the whole day, & allowed staff to hang out almost as much as they
were working, rather than be scrambling. Organization is a nifty thing. Now Monday is ahead, slightly more
challenging, but I have a whole weekend to recover.
-Sometimes you just have to get things off your chest.
-Em's
cookie-baking-&-games party went quite well, & I think everyone enjoyed themselves. Team New Mexico got so
profoundly schooled in Trivial Pursuit (20th Anniversary) that I at one point had to get brown paper bags out of the kitchen
so we could wear them over our heads. We did get unreasonably more difficult questions, that edition always seems to
get to me, & we uttered two correct answers for pie pieces & talked ourselves out of them. Still, it was the
worst game of TP in my life, though entertaining.
-Once again, this page proves useful as a historical document for
correctly recalling the past.
-Yesterday, today, & Monday mark the 3 biggest
& busiest days we have at Glide's FYCC, my place of work. The frenetic nature of organizing & planning these
events we hold, along with the crazy amounts of troubleshooting & last-second adjustments that are being made are
strangely reminiscent of running debate tournaments back at 'Deis. I even talked to one of my co-workers about this
analogous feeling & how I feel I thrive under these pressured & even harried conditions. I'm having a blast,
but am fully aware of how other functions are shutting down in the face of needing to pour energy into this. Sometimes
I wish life were like this more often, but usually I'm just glad these things are contained. Here we go...
-QFG will return soon, I promise. Hopefully
this evening. As far as the answers... I painted myself into a corner with that one. It was never part of the
original plan to have user-submitted answers, because I knew what a time drain it would be. Not surprisingly, after
being convinced to do it, it has lapsed since 9 August, roughly a third of the entire time QFG has been up. I
need a part-time programmer.
-I've been thinking about selling T-shirts for the new 2008 Presidential
Ticket Quiz on a by-request basis. As in, if I get an e-mail requesting a design for a specific ticket, I will make
that design on CafePress. Because honestly, I'm not doing 768 right now, but a few of the big ones might be popular.
Is this a weird system or does it make sense?
-Coming home on BART, I was seated a few rows back on a full train
when a woman boarded & said to a young man seated in a zone marked as potentially reserved for seniors & those with
disabilities, "Excuse me, I have a disability, I would like to sit down please." After getting her to repeat
the perfunctory comment, the young man begrudgingly shuffled up out of his seat & bitterly grabbed a railing. But
then, lo & behold, the woman winked at the person she was sitting down next to. She winked! There are
people out there (who obviously have no trouble walking) who think it's perfectly acceptable to lie about having a physical
disability in order to bump a youngin' from a seat! File this under my ever-growing bafflement at peoples' sense of
entitlement.
-Any day where one gets to lunch at 4:05, 7.58
hours deep into one's shift, is a little busy. & it's only going to get crazier as the next few days pass. Of
course, I used to work 16-hour shifts with no lunch break, so...
-SFO could stand to be a lot nicer. I guess that's
why all the particle board is up everywhere.
-Whoa. APDA is blowing up right now, with a secret internet project
being outed. Crazy.
-Smoothed out a couple of bugs on the 2008 Presidential Ticket Quiz, including a few pages where names & images were duplicated, & another
where there was a dangling </font> code on all 768 answer pages in the results posting area... something that would
have been insurmountably exhausting to fix before my find-&-replace salvation. These things always have a little
bit to work out after their debut... compared to the PS3, this was an immaculate release.
-I do my morning routine in the
dark. I usually get up about 90 minutes before I have to leave for work & wander about in the dark... making
coffee, showering, getting dressed, writing the morning's cartoon, updating this page, & looking around the internet.
I stay in the dark partially to help Em sleep later & mostly because I just don't like light very much & would
live in a cave-like atmosphere if it were all up to me. But the hazards can be quite significant... as I discovered
today. I poured my coffee as normal, just after the shower, having let it brew while I was bathing. Taking a sip,
I noticed it much colder than normal, a tepid temperature precisely at the epicenter of disgusting. But being in a
place where I needed coffee, did not have enough in the pot left to constitute a morning's intake, & somewhat baffled by
the mystery of why my coffee was so cold, I plowed on. It wasn't until I retched up the last swig from the cup &
nearly had a larger round of nausea that it hit me: the cup had been almost half-full of yesterday's leftover coffee
when I had poured the fresh brew. Maybe a light for coffee-pouring wouldn't be the worst.
-A few months ago, or
maybe close to a year, or perhaps even more than a year ago (perhaps I should just say "a while back"), Em made me
buy more expensive shoes than I would ever normally obtain for myself. I have spent most of my life wearing $10-20 pairs of
shoes & wearing them to the bone, & have quite enjoyed this fact. Em spent a very long time in a shoe store
trying to cajole me into a $50 pair that did, admittedly, look cool, but were 2.5 times what shoes should cost at most.
I eventually said I would give it a shot after she promised many times over that they would last 2.5 times as long as
my normal Payless bargains. But the first time I wore them in the rain, I was in for a terribly rude awakening, as I
realized that these shoes were the least waterproof shoes I had ever worn in my life. & I don't just mean that John
Schneider could have failed to waterproof them back in highschool - no! I mean these shoes have large gaps in them
wherein no water is stopped until it gets to the core of the wearer's foot. This fact is also notable when it's windy,
as lo & behold, I felt wind on my feet the first time I wore them in said weather. It's somewhat inexplicable to
me, because the shoe appears to be solid (some readers inevitably think I mistakenly bought a $50 pair of sandals,
which I detest), but in fact is mostly air. It's like a bag of Doritos. Fast forward to now, when the rainy
season in San Francisco is really getting its water on... it just isn't pretty. My feet have been soggy (&
soggy-smelling) all day, & there's no sign of relief in sight. This, mind you, is not the result of jumping in
puddles or dancing in the rain, but simply walking to work while it is raining. Now inevitably some of you are
thinking, perhaps rightfully, why not buy another pair of shoes? This is a principle for me. I have signed away
my shoe budget through 2008 on these bags of Doritos & I can't jettison them now. If I buy another pair of shoes,
I'm only extending my shoe-buying moratorium through 2009 or longer, which can't be a good idea. I say this now, of
course, but if the rain keeps up all week... look out.
-I don't think I've ever been pleased with an
opening day of traffic since the Book Quiz, but given that it's December & the recent trends have been as they have,
today's been pretty good for the launch of the latest quiz. Plus I'm very relieved to have it done & can go back to
concentrating on everything else. But not for too long... I'm going to have to start up a new project in January at the
latest.
-Communication is an under-rated skill. It is the bedrock of all that could ever follow.
-This program just saved my life. I don't
know if this is going to make me sound like a complete moron or not (not that many of you out there are programmers), but the
find-and-replace-across-multiple-files function is something I had never heard of until I got so desperate with a mistake I
made in the latest project that I couldn't take it. Facing 256 open, change, save, & close operations after already
spending about 12 hours on this project today, I went to Google to see if my problem could be solved. I was even ready
to accept spyware or possibly pay money. Instead, I found a brilliant, simple, small spyware-free, free program that
took about 8 seconds to do what I was prepared to spend hours doing. The implications are much larger than just that
one operation. Now adding links to new quizzes I create on old quiz webpages can be an instant process, rather than
taking the hours I've already spent on it in the past. Instant update possibilities are everywhere! It really is
possible to overhaul everything quite quickly. I'm just flabbergasted by how much easier my life with the Blue Pyramid
just became. & how foolish I feel for not looking for something like this earlier. If necessity is the mother
of invention, then desperation is the mother of asking for help.
-That's going to help the team.
-
You're Camejo-Buchanan!
As
Peter Camejo, you have strong convictions that you take with you wherever you go. You believe in peace, justice, and a
very un-American way that challenges big business and the status quo. You want to shake things to their very core, but can
never seem to quite get a foothold in your endeavors and often fall a little short. In spite of all your egalitarianism, you
live in a rather spoiled suburban environment.
You select Pat Buchanan as your running mate to pick up some extra
votes in Florida.
Take the 2008 Presidential Ticket Quiz at the Blue
Pyramid.
-As you can see, it's on the loose! Go take it, tell your friends, tell the world.
There are 768 possible outcomes. Yeah, that's right, 768. You can't even comprehend of how much time you
can waste on that quiz. Also, please report any bugs (things that don't seem to make sense or especially broken pages)
to me ASAP, because it takes too much time to fully beta-test a quiz this size, at least when I've been working on it this
long & the weekend ends in just a few hours.
-So a long time ago, a few people suggested Pandora to me, & not just because it shares
a name with my cat. I loved it, but promptly forgot about because music doesn't drive my life quite as much as those of
many of my friends. Or maybe I just got overwhelmed. Well it was Time Magazine's coolest something of the year
this year & so I went back this afternoon while working on the latest project. It took them about 45 minutes to get
to ... I can't make this up ... a live Matt Nathanson cover of "Romeo & Juliet". I almost died, but
settled for crying. I guess these folks have nailed me.
-Happy 28th anniversary to my parents! It's so
hard to comprehend that large a number, but then I remember that I have to be less than that, & then I remember how old I
am...
-"The Pursuit of Happyness" is premiering tonight at the Metreon... Glide is having a huge fundraiser
around it & it's all very exciting. Work wound up being a little too exciting, but mostly in an exhausting way.
I like that when work gets too exciting at this job, nobody gets hurt.
-So much to slog through for this
project...
-Setting up for the staff party today was pretty
fun, but waiting around for it to start seemed to suspend the mood for everyone. No one really wanted to start any big
projects (self included), & the anticipation was high. Turned out to be a great event, with extremely high
attendance & a great gift exchange. I even won the grand prize raffle, though I almost lost my ticket! It
created a weird, but ultimately workable situation. Suffice it to say it was the largest Christmas bonus I could
picture getting. The only thing lacking was a decent veggie meal since it was banquet-style, but that's to be
expected, given the whole halal/kosher/vegetarian/vegan/health-nut/no-salt/no-taste/people-who-don't-eat-food all-in-one
meal.
-This morning, I realized just how well
this month is going so far & tried to analyze my euphoria without letting it slide. Unsurprisingly, the main
factors involved are less sleep resulting from more motivation applied toward creative endeavors. As with poker (which
has also been going ridiculously well lately), I've always known I have all the tools there, it's just a matter of having the
energy & discipline to apply them consistently without slowing down. Life is surprisingly often not about figuring
things out, but about chugging away at what you've already figured out. Of course I have a wonderful marriage & a
wonderful job, & those are not to be underestimated, but that last tipping point is all about having a full fledged &
exciting outlet for what I actually want to be doing. I am unspeakably happy about this latest project, & it seems
(I hope) to depend less on its overall success in the public eye than in the process of doing it. I'm sure that status
will go away the day it's released, but I can try to hold on now. The things to remember to carry forward now are:
(1) starting a new project shortly after finishing one to avoid lag time burnout, (2) not getting snagged by setbacks
with projects (which there've been a couple), (3) working even when not feeling completely inspired, because this process
often leads to sparking inspiration, & (4) tempering work with play, even to the point of "threshold rewards".
If I can be consistent about this, I would be infinitely closer to my goal of constant creative productivity.
-The
flip side of analytical: the soft, comforting, transcendent embrace of God in the universe & knowing that we all
get caught, no matter where we fall or land.
-Every morning when I scan the day's Duck &
Cover (I need to get back in the habit of writing them at least a couple days in advance), it's a coin-toss as to whether the
scanner will work. My all-in-one printer/scanner/copier/fax/coffee-maker/catapult thinks it's breaking or is just
attention-starved, & likes coming up with errors just before scanning. I guess I have been giving it a daily
workout for 509 straight days. But since it can't team up with the toaster & microwave to unionize, it just flashes
red lights & often makes me choose between being late to work & not posting the day's cartoon till the evening.
Both of these choices are lousy, & the stress of the situation is often the most frustrating aspect of my day.
If there were ever a time when I weren't able to get the scanner to work after 5-15 minutes of patient troubleshooting,
I would just conclude that my relatively new machine is shot & look into newer ones, but it always works after a time.
This morning, however, when I started serenading it with a rendition of "Roxanne" ("Priiiiiiinter...
you don't have to put on the red light..."), I realized that I might be about to crack.
-Last night, I had photo-editing dreams wherein the
subjects in my subconscious wanderings had little dancing half-lines around everything & I had to crop out the blurry
edges. This marks the point in time where I have officially become obsessed with my latest project. I have dreamt
of many things in my day... Tetris, Dark Age, debate, classes, work, Loosely Based, & now the latest project joins
the rank. But I can't see it going much longer than a week to ten days from here. In the words of Led Zeppelin,
all will be revealed.
-768 is a big number.
-The more things change...
-Spent a truly ridiculous portion of time questing
for a Christmas tree that did not cost fifty bucks. Ended up successful ($19.99) at the fifth place we looked & got
a huge tree... our first real family-sized tree. Pando seems a bit horrified yet somewhat intrigued. We even have
a classic metal Christmas tree stand. It's like we're all grown up or something.
-I am duly impressed with this quiz on American accents. It said I have a
Western accent, which is correct, & that this means "no one thinks you have an accent", which is also probably
correct. & I am furthest from a Northeastern accent, which is just sort of philosophically correct, if nothing
else.
-Okay, maybe I am good at poker.
-This latest
project is dominating my brain & my time at nearly unprecedented levels. All will be revealed this month, barring
disaster. I will say that the CQII is on hold till next year, to make way for this project. The biggest thing I
need to work on is controlling my hopes from getting sky-high about the phenomenon this could be.
-"Stranger than
Fiction" was quite enjoyable, though the ending was fishy. I say that exact sentence about a lot of movies,
mefears, but it's just the case a lot of the time. Few people know how to really do endings properly. I would
still recommend it, as it was rather clever. & if you can see it at the Grand Lake, so much the better.
-Uh, who ordered the December?
-The Mep Report
has officially released our first-ever video. It's a whole new angle on our highlight about the Even-Number Principle
& face-eating moles. You must immediately check it out here.
-I have felt so many things about this week.
At the same time, I've been tired & exuberant, both overwhelmed & comforted by my current routine. I have
all the pieces & know they will come together. It's just a matter of timing, enforcing that timing for myself.
It's all up to me. The control we are given over our own destiny can be shocking at times.
-It's amazing to me
how consistent the pattern of repeated heavy lifting or carrying making me extremely angry is in my life. I'm not sure
anything, even a migraine, puts me in a bad mood faster.
-Some people at work were today baffled that it was
still November & not December. Others were stunned that it wasn't still September or perhaps October. I think
I'm still reeling that it's not 2003 anymore.
-When the computer-fixer's computer isn't working, it's time to go
home.
-I think I may have had an ear infection since 2001. They apparently can go relatively dormant & flare up
again, as it has again in the last couple days. Sigh.
-Russ is good at poker. Me, not so
much. But congratulations to him!
-Unexpected traffic bonus yesterday! It's about time. Just stick
around, folks...
-Migraine: 33 hours, right side, minor,
caused by excessive light.
-Though it was minor, the things that had to be done during the headache (driving home, for
example) made it seem a bit major. So it goes. Gris & Anna even got in from the snowy wilds of Montana via
Washington. But I'll be fine.
-Everyone seemed a bit groggy coming into work, but I was able to shake it off &
get a surprising amount done. This week or two up ahead are going to lull me into a false sense of security before the
full holidays blast me into oblivion.
-Project project project! Much exciting fun.
[from Clovis,
California]
-Geoff & I are about as evenly matched at Madden as two people can
possibly be. He always has some late-game heroics, whether they come up 4 points short or 1 point
ahead.
-"Happy Feet" was neither as good nor as bad as I anticipated. At times, it seemed utterly chaotic
& fully aware that animated penguins were all they needed to float a blockbuster film. At other times, they went
against preachy missions against human wastefulness, religion, & even communism (though this sort of backfired, because
it was clear that communal behavior was the only thing keeping the penguins alive most of the winter, unrealistic dropped egg
or no). There were also some unnecessary race issues. But the penguins were every bit as great as hoped for,
& that's what I was going to see. I don't know why movies like this aren't more explicit about the importance of
being vegetarian, or at least of not eating fish. There's this nebulous fish shortage for the penguins the whole time,
& vague mutterings about the humans not fishing in the area of the Antarctic (presumably because the rest of the world's
oceans are so flush with unfished sealife), but no one comes out & says that fish are penguin food, not human food.
If you're going to have a preachy message, at least do it right.
[from Clovis,
California]
-People are finally warming up to playing some games, after a surprising
disinterest (or lack of momentum) in this area. & I'm forcing myself to relax, to not be so focused on keeping up,
to really let things go a bit & have a vacation. I don't have as much trouble with this as some, but even I can get
too caught up at times.
[from Clovis,
California]
-Did a little Thanksgiving-for-Christmas last night, garnering Sid Meier's
latest Railroads game as well as a variety of giftcards. The kids all picked up about a bazillion toys & we all
wondered how it is that kids these days seem to amass quite so many of them. As always with these nieces & nephew,
I'm furiously taking notes for what I would want to do (or not) in raising a child, if applicable.
-Mefears I've been a
bit antisocial this weekend in working on my fast-track project, but if it's even a fraction as cool as I think it could be,
it'll all come out in the wash. All you need to know right now is 768. Think about that for a
while.
[from Clovis,
California]
-Got down here early morning as per usual, after an unusually foggy
drive. I love the fog, though driving is not the best context for it per se. I'm looking forward to just letting
go for a few days... though I have projects I will also be trying to steal time for. The whole clan is starting to
assemble & the Garins are nothing if not unchangingly consistent, which can be very comforting.
-I'm thankful for just
about everything in my life at this point, & always a little weirded out by associating thanks with a time when our
ancestors stole everything from other, more deserving people. I hope to live up to the blessings I've been
dealt.
-Well, my doctor's visit went slightly worse than I
could've imagined. Apparently my feelings that they know nothing about migraines whatsoever were entirely confirmed.
This is, in fact, what the medical profession is willing to say about itself. So everything they prescribe to be
taken daily for migraines is an off-label drug... don't even get me started with the dangers of off-label prescriptions.
But the real kicker? My doctor wants me to take... get ready... anti-depressants! For migraines.
Without discussing the impact it might have, say, on my outlook on the world, or my headspace, or anything. &
she didn't even pitch it as "this will save you from migraines", but rather as "it probably won't work,
but hey, it might!" I know that punting 6% of one's life to be in dark, silent rooms is not everyone's idea of
functional, but trading it for destruction of the rest of my life just doesn't seem terribly valid to me, especially when
it's from the Try It, You Might Like It School of Medicine. Sheesh. So I talked her down from the ledge & she
said that blood pressure medicine was my other option. She didn't tell me about how these pills designed to, you know,
reduce my blood pressure would impact my blood pressure. Given that I've had lifelong textbook-perfect blood pressure,
I'm not terribly excited about this option either, especially when it's a "beta-blocker" which is apparently
supposed to stunt my reaction to dangerous situations. Yes, I would like to shoot my intuition in the face in exchange
for a slight possibility of reduced headaches. Finally, she also prescribed my old "stroke pills" from the
mid-90's, even after I told her that whatever happened, I didn't want to go back on those. After this whole experience,
I'm beginning very strongly to believe that medical health is a zero-sum game. It's all just trade-offs. &
after spending a decade & a half getting used to migraines, I'm frankly more okay with them (a known, safe quantity) than
voyaging into the realm of unknown side effects, dangers, & explicit impacts of doom. Feel free to try to talk me
out of it, but my mind is quickly being made up, & my parents & Em seem to be on my side. The only possibly
positive outcome was something called the "Headache Clinic", which sounds a little like a migraine support group.
That might be fun, though it sounds like it also might conflict with work hours. We'll see.
-Migraine: 29 hours, right side,
significant, cause unknown.
-Kaiser thinks I have a doctor. Who knew? I'm going to meet her
tomorrow.
-The more I work in the Tenderloin, the more I
learn about basic human behaviors & approaches to mundane tasks. For example, walking. I am a very
defensive/evasive walker, wherein I will assume that, in crowded sidewalk situations, other people are going to proceed on
their course & it's up to me to avert dangerous collisions. In most all walks of life, this works very well,
because most people walk deliberately, even stridently, & are not looking to bounce out of their way to yield to oncoming
traffic. Not so in the Tenderloin. Seems about 80-90% of my neighbors in this area are also defensive walkers.
They're used to getting out of the way or being mowed down. Of course, any pairing of two head-on defensive
walkers creates that beautiful moment dance of both people getting in each others' way with the intent to get out of it.
Sometimes with up to three or four permutations around here. It's truly amazing. This still has to be
preferable to aggressive/aggressive walker situations, wherein collisions must be all but inevitable. I feel like Jake
would especially enjoy discussing this facet of human nature & its application to our daily living.
Happy Birthday to Paul Garin
IV
-As though you needed another reason to love Chipotle, McDonald's has apparently fully
divested from them, circa last month. I'm not someone who plays politics with economic decisions, because I know
everything & everyone in a capitalist system is innately broken & corrupt. But for those who do, you can now
feel even better about the delectable delights of Chipotle. That said, this information did come from Wikipedia, so
it's possible that Chipotle is actually, in fact, renaming itself McChipotle.
-That's poker. It's hard to play anything by
gut, even when you're right. It's hard to know you're right. Ultimately, I have better uses of much of my time.
But I also understand why.
-The Mep Report was noted in the Brandeis University Magazine this season (it's
quarterly)... it's in the 2001-2002 Class Notes that should soon be posted to this page (currently, that page has last season's
notes up). One never knows who reads those things or how often it will convert into people checking out the 'cast, but
it's neat to be in there all the same.
-Too many projects, not enough of that sustained feeling of overwhelming
inspiration. I can get in that mode frequently, especially when moving (walking or driving seems to do the trick).
It's staying there that offers the difficulty, especially when so many projects involve coding & lots of it.
If only there weren't limited amounts of tedium involved in everything I like doing or am good at. Hm. In
any event, I predict 2007 will be very exciting for the Blue Pyramid, in a hopeful counterbalance to 2006's tempered
disappointment.
-All's well that ends well, or something... there
will always be conflicts in a work environment & I think these were all handled well. I am so done with that
issue.
-Had a great time catching up with Stina & an epic conversation that ran the gamut of all the years. It's
amazing how much has changed, how time passes, how it all works out in the end. We may not see it on the way, but
looking back, the road is damn near perfect.
-Exit Em, stage Santa Barbara via LA. Not too
many of these trips left, at least...
-Archived 50 days of Introspection, put
Introspooktion to bed, & hereby inaugurate the first-ever Wintrospection. The theme is meant to cover the whole
season, but somehow all the stuff in the graphic ended up very January. Maybe I'm just baffled by 2007 enough to be
focused on it, or to want to hold on to as much of being 26 as I possibly can.
-After we wrapped Mep Report 56 tonight,
Greg noted that I was touting some other unknown band without mentioning his. So, though I haven't listened to it, you
should go buy The Road's debut album as well. I will shortly.
-Going
into work late tomorrow (in order to stay late) sounds rewarding, but I will probably be up just as early, but without
anything to do. We'll see though. Maybe I can catch up on other projects...
-Migraine: 14 hours, left side, severe,
cause unknown.
-I can be a real bastard if I'm in enough pain. I suppose that's true of everyone, & why
torture can fundamentally change who people are.
-I was bleary-busy today again, which simply reminded me how glad I am to
be a non-exempt employee. Someone please remind me of this week if someone ever offers me an exempt position & I
consider it. Unlike school, unlike non-exempt positions, unlike nearly anything else in life, I got to walk straight
out being busy at 5:00 (well, 5:12, but that's as much as I'll let it slide). & the rest of my day, I get to do
whatever I want, until the proverbial bell tolls again. Don't get me wrong, I love what I'm doing & I adore being
this busy & coming through on things, but if I didn't have these limits, nothing would stop me from doing a sleepover to
get caught up with everything. Instead, I have a great job & plenty of life.
-If you buy one CD this year, it
should be from a band you've never heard of: Brad Wolfe & the Moon. Seriously, go
get it. I can't get enough.
Happy Birthday to Jennifer
Dean
-Well, my job is rapidly becoming one where time off only delays work rather than
skipping it. Though it is truly feast-or-famine, the feast has been on of late. Plus, my role of tech support
seems sorely missed when I'm out as a printer got disconnected & backed up 36 jobs from 10 people while I was out,
without anyone pursuing the cause. It is nice to be needed, though, I must admit. Nice to be busy, too.
Happy Birthday to Aubrey
Ingraham
-Got some of my best sleep on a plane in my life on the way back from Houston.
I think it was the result of simply being insanely tired. Though my neck doesn't hurt despite being terribly
positioned much of the sleep. Now I'm craving Waffle House, but had to settle for Pollo's, which would normally not be
settling at all. Ah well.
-Weary & all over the place today. But it's nice to have some rebound time when
this tired.
-Congratulations to 'Deis (& especially Mark) for winning Tufts! This makes me happy for a wide variety
of reasons. For one thing, we finally have a team qualled. For another, we continue our absolute dominance of
Pro-Am tournaments. & lastly, Brandeis maintains its title as Tufts champions. Since 2000, Steve-o & I
have been the standing debate champions of Tufts University, given that the team & its tournament fell apart shortly
after we won that year. Now they've been on a comeback & this was the first Tufts tournament in 6 years, also going
to a Brandeis team. Very cool.
[from New
Orleans]
-This trip has gone by amazingly quickly, despite being packed with great
activities. I'm so glad we were able to make it with the ticket debacle though. I could use a few extra days,
though, if anyone wanted to expand this weekend.
-Congratulations to Isaac & Mo! The wedding was my first-ever
Quaker meeting, which was fascinating especially given the thought that I gave to becoming a Quaker during my ongoing
religious crisis many years ago. While I think many of the people who spoke didn't quite fulfill the "moved by the
spirit" concept of the ceremony (opting to give toasts they thought would be amusing instead), I was still impressed by
the nature of the service. The two seem very happy & the environs were beautiful despite the cold & the just
suspended threat of storm. While Degas' work doesn't do much for me, the Degas House was beautiful in general.
The hordes of PIRGers seemed surprised to see us (I guess there were PIRGy shindigs last night), but it was fun to
check in with many of them.
-Next stop, Houston. I'm a lot less excited about this back end of the trip...
[from New
Orleans]
-Commander's in New Orleans (where Ariel used to work) is the exact
color that I would paint a building were I to own a building in need of paint. Plus, it's across the street from a
really neat graveyard in an allegedly haunted city.
-New Orleans really is a beautiful town. We had a chance to see
the nice parts of the French Quarter as well as a haunting walk around some of the most desolate parts of the Lower 9th Ward.
This was an extremely moving experience, though strangely I found it hard to be present & not think about Baghdad
& Iraq. As desperately sad as it was, it was caused predominantly by nature (tempered by American incompetence),
whereas the sweeping destruction in Iraq is ongoing at the hands of the deliberate will of America & its people.
Regardless, it was still an amazing experience, especially seeing display boards for neighborhood churches advertising
events for August 28th. Time is simply stopped in the area. It's like walking through a time machine set on
pause.
-Friends always outweigh places. & we all seem aware of that.
[from New
Orleans]
-Just got in after a surprisingly not-bad 350-mile drive from Houston to the
Big Easy. Other than seeing a streetlight that was simultaneously green & red, I haven't seen much of the impact of
Katrina, though it is the middle of the night. Plus, I got Waffle House on the way in & that made me happier than I
can express.
-Ariel! It's been too long.
-This was approximately the worst day ever.
Expedia claimed that our flight to New Orleans was a week ago, not today, stole at least $200, & made us rebook our
flight. Only now, the rates were only remotely affordable to Houston. So we're going to Houston, tomorrow, &
driving a rental car the 5 hours each way. A conflict at work got unpleasant. The rest of work was frenzied &
hectic as I prepared to be gone & all sorts of stuff just seemed to be hitting all sorts of fans. It was just an
era of bad feelings. Which should all be fine soon, because the trip's still on & I'm getting a much-needed day
off.
-Russ did an interview for TMR on a show called Podcast 411. You should
listen... it's very informative about our show & (unsurprisingly) very funny.
-If you're voting today, please consider the third
parties in your area, especially the Greens. The Dems are paid off by the same military-industrial complex that's
ruining the lives of millions of Iraqis & thousands of Americans. Save for a few fringe candidates, the party is
still pro-war & believes in ridiculous, nebulous concepts like "victory". Winners aren't going to change
anything this year - your only hope is to send a message. Join a vote for peace.
-I truly cannot believe the methods
of voting that are considered reasonable in this country, let alone more reasonable than computer voting. Lining up
punchcards, marking boxes, or the method I experienced today, which involved filling in the space between two halves of an
arrow with a pen. How in the world are things like this considered more effective, reliable, & reasonable than
computer voting? Even if the fix is in, I guarantee that computer voting yields more accuracy overall than paper
ballots which are open to all sorts of misreading, misinterpretation, & fraud. I also like how all these news
agencies are jumping on there being glitches "already" this morning with computer voting machines. Here's the
thing, folks... if the computer has a glitch, you know before you vote. If someone messes up your paper ballot,
or you didn't punch, fill in, or mark as fully as necessary to make your vote count, it's too late to salvage your voting
opportunity. Computers can confirm things & show you the choices you made & allow you to change them, while paper
ballots are incredibly unforgiving. Even today, I voted against a proposition that immediately regretted rejecting
& decided I probably should have just not voted on one way or the other. On a computer, I could've validated that
second thought, but I had no recourse on my paper. Thumbs-down to paper voting!
-&, what, you ask, of fraud or
Diebold's notorious fix? Well, it's time for an end to secret ballot. Because computers aren't perfect or
reliable either. But as long as we try to hide how people voted, then we'll have inaccuracies, that settling feeling as
you leave the polling place that your vote may not have counted, & the possibility for massive election fraud &
theft. Public record voting, on the other hand, would be completely transparent & subject to scrutiny, allowing
people to ensure that dead people didn't vote, no one voted often, & that everyone's vote... absolutely everyone's
vote counted. You could see it right there, on the public record. There are all sorts of more demanding
situations where we insist that people tell the truth & sacrifice their privacy... in courtroom settings & law
enforcement, for tax purposes, & so on. The only argument you could possibly have against it is fear of reprisal,
which is true of almost everything that one does in public. But we don't think reprisal... unjust treatment in the
workplace, violent treatment in society, etc.... is valid anyway, & there are already laws against it. & we
don't take measures like making everyone wear blue body suits to cover up their race (clearly a more reprisal-likely
attribute than a vote) or place shrouds around every place of religious gathering or worship (even more hot-button than
politics in many instances). So why take all the pains to make voting inaccurate & painful? In the 1790's,
these may have been important steps to take in an era of monarchies where reprisal was taken for granted. But if we
haven't gotten used to the idea of the right to vote in 200 years, then there's really no hope anyway. It's time for
public record voting, which may well be the only thing that can save our so-called democracy.
Introspection, My Worst Friend* (Current)
Ye Olde Archive (Past)
Tell me this is not the end...*
*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song,
"The Same Old Frontiers", by SWClayton.
