That Hideous Strength
(7-16 March 2005)

16 March 2005
-Last night was bad, but not as bad.  Sigh.
-I grow weary of this work... again.  Consider myself warned, to grab a phrase from Civ.
-Saw Bob Dylan for the sixth time in my life just now... Em's birthday gift for me, though I went with Fish & not her as she's growing weary of seeing Bobby D (especially amped-up with his band).  Never have I been so far from Bob, as we were in the middle seats of Balcony Z at the Paramount Theater downtown in Oakland, which was the absolute back row in the entire place.  It felt like watching from a nearby mountaintop.  Either way, the set was great, including "Positively 4th Street", "The Times They are a-Changin'", & an amazing show-stopping "Girl of the North Country".  There was a whole lot from the "Love and Theft" album, so one's opinion of the show would hinge a lot on one's feelings on that disc... I like it a ton more than Fish, for example.  Despite the distance, it was one of the better shows of Bob's I've seen.

15 March 2005
-Well, I'm glad to be typing here again.  Last night was one of those really close calls between us running a house with kids in it & the kids running a house with us in it.  Crisis communication has never had quite so much emphasis on the crisis.  I could say a lot more, mostly about standing between an escalating kid & a fire extinguisher when all the other staff are already in another containment, but I'm just sore & tired.  As I told Cam after things had gotten under control, it seems that our whole job is really just doing research on these kids so that when everyone's safety really is on the line, we know exactly what to do & say to make sure it gets off the line in a hurry.  That's really the work... it takes lots of homework & the ability to apply it with lightning speed & accuracy.  Whew is all I can say today.
-Put in the new graphic, with all the themes of anniversaries in 2005.  Just for the sake of history.
-My parents report that it SNOWED 7 inches in Albuquerque overnight last night & that everything's been cancelled there today.  How I wish I were there!

14 March 2005
-Sometimes I almost forget how bad migraines can be.  Almost.
-I guess I can trudge into work, but I really need to find a way to start eating a little more.  I think that's part of the problem.
-Everyone should join my NCAA Pool!  It's on Yahoo! & is just for fun, & already has lots of folks with their brackets in!  If you want to join, send me an e-mail & I'll send you the info.

13 March 2005
-5 full years of Introspection.  Wow.  Even if not every update has been perfectly on-time in appearing on this page, the fullness of reflection has reached half a decade.  I've been meaning to make some new graphic to headline the page & herald this reality, but I'm still a bit swamped by things.
-Not a bad day at work, though not an especially great one.  We did a challenge where the 4 of us regular staff on the first half of the week all gave up something for the whole shift (we called it off at 4, though, when one of the folks got floated out to another house)... & we would have to buy lunch & pay into a pool for the winner if we did whatever it was.  Mine was making corny jokes, while others had to not eat snacks, not be loud, & refrain from making any sort of musical sounds.  These are all things that we all do to get us through shift, things that others have noticed & commented on endlessly, & we all tested our willpower.  For 9 hours, we were all perfect, though there were a few close-calls.  It was very impressive, & definitely beat my expectations for what we could do.  But as "No-Snacks" Cameron put it, our job is all about self-control, discipline, & willpower in the first place.  So it makes sense we could do this.  & yes, this crazy self-imposed experiment was my idea.

12 March 2005
-Went out to Tracy today to hang with Paul, Colleen, & the wee Paul V & Natty.  Twas good fun & we broke out Mystery of the Abbey, the game that Em got me for my birthday.  It's the game you always wanted Clue to be, & while it took a little long (we were still figuring out the rules & such), I enjoyed it a ton.  We had 5 of us playing since Fish came with, & ended up hanging out most of the night.  Good times.

11 March 2005
-Another decent haul at poker night, though Myron out-drew me on a gutshot straight-draw that left me a little bit reeling.  I dressed up for the event, feeling a little inspired by recently going to debate tourneys & missing that whole formal-dress thing.  It was a lot of fun, & those who appreciate my poker commentary (not everyone, but those who like it really do) said that I was especially on.
-No breakfast with Edwin, so Fish & I wandered out to Pollo's at breakfast time (noon) & meandered around Berkeley a bit.  Nice & chill.
-I almost let the updates go a critical 40 days, but I'm finally caught up again.  Very sorry about the extreme drought, but it seems I've kept having things more urgent to do, or just needed more time & space for other things.  It wasn't conscious or deliberate though, & I really doubt it will happen again... at least anytime soon.

10 March 2005
-I've been losing a fair bit online since that big $360 win & a couple tourneys thereafter.  The streak isn't really threatening my big gains, but it's definitely disappointing me.
-We'll see if I can turn things around in the live game...

9 March 2005
-Treated myself to a movie after meetings today, which seemed to drag a lot.  I saw "Hide & Seek", which I'd been wanting to see for a long time & was right in the genre of spooky movies that aren't too gory or horrific.  It was made far the creepier by me being the only person in the entire theater (it was a 2:40 Wednesday showing, but still).  I recommend it to those who like this genre of movies, though the twist is disappointing.  The mood of the piece overall almost entirely makes up for the weak ending.

8 March 2005
-The kids just annoyed me tonight, & it seems like it was just me.  I dunno.  They have a lot of reason to be troublesome these days, so it's hard to hold it too far against them.  But in the moment, urgh!  Enough already!

7 March 2005
-Yesterday definitely wound up living up to both being the 6th in its badness, & March in its instability.  Even if a lot of it trailed into the wee hours of today.  All I know is that nothing in life is easy, & don't ever believe differently from anyone.  Even the really good stuff spends a lot of time just feeling almost impossible.
-The day at work was fine, smooth & easy.  It was almost like someone had switched out our kids for better versions of themselves.  That sounds like an awful thing to say, but you haven't been working with them lately.

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