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The following is reprinted from an article in the Orlando Sentinel's City Beat on 25 January 2004.  Originally printed on Orlando City Beat.  To see its original form, click here.

Which country are you?

Published January 25, 2004

Richard Tribou

Laid back person, enjoys spicy food in tropical locations seeking similar person with more self-discipline, but enjoys play as much as work -- and soccer.

Translated: Costa Rica seeks Brazil.

Turns out that I'm Costa Rica and my significant other is Brazil or at least that's what "The Country Quiz" at bluepyramid.org/ia/cquiz.htm managed to figure.

It's an interesting time waster on the Net that can figure out which country you are most like by asking only six questions.

Since I, a: have a good quality of life, b: enjoy mild or tropical weather, c: like spicy food, d: lack self-discipline, e: am not a rebel and f: do not believe in self-defense, I'm the tourist capital of Central America. I'm Costa Rica.

My significant other, though, has self-discipline, which of course branched her into new questions, choosing "work hard, play hard" over "work hard, work harder" which led to the question, "Do you like soccer?" Obviously, she's Brazil.

Each country has its own little character traits. Brazil, for instance, reads, "You're athletic, charming and probably a good dance. Unfortunately, you don't really mind chopping down the rain forest, and you probably consider homeless people expendable." It goes on to read "You definitely like Pele, the World Cup, and shouting 'gooooal' at the top of your lungs."

Costa Rica on the other hand is, "about as peaceful as anyone on the planet, a real dyed-in-the-wool pacifist. And why not? No one really poses much of a threat to you and everything seems to work out, no matter how much violence and insanity rages all around you. So you relax and appreciate nature and culture while the rest of the world carries on their petty disagreements. If only everyone could follow your example."

It's good to be me.

Each country comes along with some insightful declarations, and it's entertaining to query people around you. You never know, you could be surrounded by friends and coworkers who identify with "axis of evil nations. Iraq and North Korea are both options out of the 64 possible results.

By the way, I answered the questions as if I were our president. Turns out George W. would be -- drum roll please Texas, "big enough to have some soft spots somewhere in all that redneck madness." Awww.

Some of the best humor is the questions asked to narrow things down.

For instance, there's the question, "Have you ever gotten back together with an ex?" If you answered yes, then you end up being Germany.

Then there's a choice asking which is more intuitive to you, nuclear physics or baseball. If you answer nuclear physics, you're North Korea. If you answer baseball, you're Cuba.

How about, "Do you let people walk all over you?" If you answer sometimes, you're the United Nations. If you answer "constantly," then you're Poland.

You can also retake the quiz if, for instance, you weren't into spicy food that day or maybe you've re-evaluated your quality of life.

Depending on my mood, I can be a number of countries.

Because I feel I could improve my quality of life, I go down a new path. Is life too crowded? No. Do I often feel used and manipulated? No. Do I sometimes wish I were larger? Definitely not. Am I more or less crazy than I used to be? Sadly, less. And finally, who was the worst villain in the Nixon administration? I chose Nixon over Kissinger.

So who am I now?

I guess you'll have to find out.