(26 May - 4 June 2005)
4 June 2005 3 June 2005 2 June 2005 1 June 2005 31 May 2005 30 May 2005 29 May 2005 28 May 2005 27 May 2005 26 May 2005 Introspection, My Worst
Happy Birthday to Rachel Simonelli
-Wonder how old Rachel is doing back at the grind. I've been in surprisingly little contact with the old Seneca bunch, but I might change that at some point.
-Mefears I might have yet another ear infection. It feels like I have four holes punched in a steady line from my left ear down to the left side of my throat... it's a sore throat of an unusual caliber. Why am I so prone to ear infections?
Happy Birthday to Nikki Hay
-This site has some really beautiful international stat-trackers, with lots of colorful flags! I've added their counter to the bottom of the BP main page. If nothing else, it'll tell the world how big the BP is in Taiwan...
-Traffic for the Animal Quiz isn't exactly soaring, but it's late in the week & it's June. I don't know what to expect from it, but my hopes are high given how many answers there are. That should capture imaginations, shouldn't it?
You're a Hyena!
You have quite a sense of humor, though many others find it derisive rather than appealing. You are perceived as being a coward, but actually have moments of great bravery and have even stood up to those much larger than yourself. You like hanging out in groups and are always making a lot of noise. Disney thinks you are an idiot.
Take the Animal Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.
-It's out!!! Finally, after 3 solid days of working a full work day's worth of hours on writing the answers alone, the Animal Quiz is signed, sealed, & delivered. The above entry should also indicate once & for all that I do not rig these quizzes to give me answers that I like for myself... there are few animals I would have wanted to be less than a hyena. Still, I'm very excited about how the quiz turned out & that it sets (to my knowledge) a record for number of possible outcomes in an online personality test, at 128. Take it... take it now!
-I was hoping to launch the Animal Quiz today, but it looks like it might have to wait till tomorrow. I have 58 answers left to write today, & that's just a lot, especially given my average of 35 a day over the past 2 days. But as I reach the end, motivation will increase, so who knows?
-Another good steady day of writing answers for the Animal Quiz. This is taking much longer & a lot more work than I expected. Obviously, it's always been hard to be clever on cue 64 times in a row, but with all the stuff doubled, it feels the workload has been tripled. After all, it's not just like doing 2 quizzes, it's doing 2 quizzes at the same time. It's just a lot of writing, especially if I'm going to keep the quality high.
-Finally done with all the pictures & questions, so now only answers remain to be written for the Animal Quiz! It's been a long hard process that I started in April, but now it seems feasible for maybe a 1 June launch! Something good might just come out of being unemployed.
-You should really check this out. I think Tofu-D2 is my favorite.
-Well, I finally broke down & completely lost it. Finally? It feels like, in reality, it was a long time in coming. All the uncertainty & dread... the bad dreams, the haunting visions... the reminders of bygone time that it all amounted to. It was just a matter of time, really. & now that the dust has cleared, I've quit my job. I am done with Seneca Center. I'm trying not to regret the time there... I certainly learned a lot & had a lot of valuable experiences. I would hope that I did some good. But more good in that way, I cannot do. I'm too freaked out, too exhausted, too burnt to a crisp. So I'm doing what I've done in violent situations in the past... just cutting bait. This almost certainly means no desk job there as well, as they were asking me to keep working in the meantime. It's all over now, baby blue. Something a little safer to come before too long, with any luck.
-More uncertainty, stretching out into the vast horizon. Though I shudder at the simile, this is starting to feel like the run-around that PLB gave me back around this time of year in 1997. Every day is a promise of tomorrow. Every tomorrow is a promise of the next day. The real message is "go away".
-Unending uncertainty. I called the Seneca program director today to follow-up & suggest the school as a possible temporary resolution, but she just put me off till later today or tomorrow. Of course later today didn't happen. So I wait some more.
-Well there was no ultimatum in the meeting today, & I was again surprised by how considerate the program director can be. She seemed to actually care about my feelings & my concerns with the job & my safety. She suggested Building Blocks, our program for toddlers, as a possible alternative while I wait on applying for a desk job. At the same time, she gave me the impression that a desk job wasn't all that likely for me to get. She said that only a couple more weeks would probably make sense for me to work in direct care with kids, which was a relief to me. But we'll have to wait till tomorrow to know anything for sure, when she gets back to me.
-Lots of sympathy & understanding from the Poker Night crew, which was definitely nice. They also suggested coming to work at the school, which I'm not altogether sure about, but could be a nice transition. They said repeatedly that something like happened to me could never take place at the school. There are too many staff & one's never alone there. Plus, I could see some of the kids I actually miss from that house...
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Introspection, My Worst