For Emily, Whenever I May Find Her
(14-23 September 2001)
23 September 2001
-Getting e-mails like that is what makes being debate team President all worthwhile. It makes the exhaustion & tribulation really melt away.
-How did my free day suddenly get so packed? I think that Sunday morning should become the ONLY time I sleep during the week. If I stay up the rest of the time, little piddly things like laundry or shopping won't get in the way...
22 September 2001
[from Williamstown, Massachusetts]
-I love this team.
-When did Brandzy become so funny in rounds? It's gotta be the crowd atmosphere. Of course the Harvard surrealism case didn't hurt any.
-One ballott short of qualling. Not bad for running the anti-semifinals case.
-I KNEW the novii were doing better than that!
-Drew & Crack get the star as well.
-Driving home: a whole new angle on debate tourneys. Good weekend though.
21 September 2001
-The APDA webpage is really gonna be more than I bargained for in total upkeep time. Nevertheless, I hope to leave it better than I found it.
-I'm feeling just excellent about life at this particular juncture. I really hope that things can maintain this kind of spirit all year. Plus, this weekend, despite one notable absence, is going to be a whole lot of fun. Brandzy & I always just have a fantastic time together. Really, everything's looking very much up.
-It's Friday morning, which of course means rain time. Because that's when we'd least like it to rain.
-I can't get this silly little smile off my face.
20 September 2001
-So it's extremely nice to have someone who can talk me out of irrational fears & paranoid insecurities that strike me from time to time. Who can transform my mood from despair while closing out a lonely 6-hour shift in the underheated library to just feeling much better about everything after a phonecall. I was going to write in this space about how mad I was at myself for various mental wanderings & how I wish I had more control & reason, etc. Instead, I'm just back on track & feeling pretty solid. & thinking about that just makes me grateful. So very grateful.
-In other news, Russ & I found a new bowling place that will become THE bowling place for the year. It's even got old-school scoring. Russ beat me 462-457 in our series yesterday afternoon, but who woulda seen his 3rd-game 196 coming? Good times...
19 September 2001
-But not today.
18 September 2001
-"Hello hello hello hello goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye. That's all there is. & the leaves that are green turn to brown..."
17 September 2001
-I wish I didn't think so much. I wish that thinking were more fruitful for me than it really is. I wish that things in this life (just this once) could be easy. But there's this nasty thing called timing & we all must bow to its whim. But here I am being wistful in the face of great potential. That doesn't make too much sense. I should try to be grateful, so much more grateful. Because really, I've been handed something more than I could really hope for on most days.
-From the extremely good news file, I was just informed that I have completed my Philosophy major. I already knew that I had completed my History major. So that'll make my day a little more relieved.
16 September 2001
-I am essentially too tired to sleep. At least I'm back okay.
15 September 2001
[from New York City]
-The vigil could've been better attended, but at least it was nice for those there.
-Very little beats an all-night diner. Especially spending all night.
-I need a 36-48 hour timeout from life, whereby I can move on, but the rest of the world will pause for a while as I consider everything. Consider everything, & clean my room! But first I have to drive back...
14 September 2001
-I'm going to New York today, for the Columbia Novice debate tourney, which will be held as scheduled. I get to LO the demo round & lead the vigil for the tourney, so I'm excited about the whole project. A bit trepid, but mostly because I want the experience to be worthwhile for people. I feel fine about going in general. Just a bit of pressure is all.
-Sometimes I even surprise myself.
Introspection, My Worst
Ye Olde Archive (Past)
Tell me this is not the end...*
*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers", by SWClayton.