El Condor Pasa
(27 April - 6 May 2001)

6 May 2001
-Well, I'm single again.  As Rob Greenberg would say, "Ladies...?"
-But things are okay.  It was amicable, probably my 4th (maybe only my 3rd) amicable breakup.  & technically it's just "taking a break for the summer".  So we shall see.  Even though she's starting to feel the weirdness, I think we're both better off, both for the 3 months & a week, & for closing it here.  For now.  Another friend at least.  & that, as John Irving would say, paraphrasing, in the novel of his I'm currently reading ("A Widow for One Year") is the end of the story.  Not really, but you know.
-Driving back with Mesco was also a good time.  College gets in the way of good uses of time at college all the time.

5 May 2001
[from South Hadley, Massachusetts]
-Life is a metaphor.
-Gutsy.  But necessary.
-I'm not a fan of that knotted-stomach feeling.  But apparently it's just me feeling it... for now.

4 May 2001
-Tonight's poker night was lackluster at best.  I doubled my money, but I'm not convinced I doubled my fun.  It wasn't that bad, but it just wasn't a way to end the year.
-The Mariners are 22-6 & yet our online poll doesn't recognize that we could win more than 100 games this year.  We're on pace to win 127 (one-hundred & twenty-seven) games!  Get with it, people!  I think we might fall a bit short of that but hey, this is the best start to a season I could imagine.  Woohoo!
-I really like this weather we're having & in 6 days I'll be in the promised land of weather.  But first, I'm going to Holyoke for the weekend...

3 May 2001
-From Stina, I am always waiting for the example that beats me.  Always.  It's not funny cuz it's true.
-Important survey:  are people always thinking?
-Lisha, I hate to break it to ya, but it's May.  We're not, as your page would suggest, on April 33rd.  But I'll be seeing you on April 38th!  :)

2 May 2001
-I am weary, appreciative, & filled with "Windmills".  That's all.  This summer is shaping up to be a series of beautiful moments.  & even if it isn't, life shapes up that way most of the time.  The more steps one takes back, the more focused the picture gets.  & what a sparkling vision one can have from a mile out.
-The Quiz has 27 more questions!

1 May 2001
-Soup can labels can be interesting.
-Points to anyone who can name the source of the above reference - an ANCIENT one, I'll give you that hint.  Jeez, I know I commented on this last year, but "May Day" always seems to fit the day so perfectly... & I don't mean Red Square Commie Marches so much as DISASTER!  But I don't FEEL like it's a disaster... I feel like it's the natural conclusion of my recent awakenings about academics.  As Ariela told me, it'd do me good to fail a class.  Gris confronted this with matter-of-factness.  I just need to make up my mind.  Nothing I care about's in jeopardy... I just need to figure out where the line is between pride & dignity.

30 April 2001
-I am done with science FOREVER!  (Do you know what fo'eva means?...)
-I am not done with this paper... yet.  Either way, whatever happens, I keep my scholarship.  So I'll take my time.  I care too much about the things that count to care about these things anymore.  I have resigned from the gradegame.  I'm just lingering for a piece of paper that's the same either way.  & for the opportunity to debate & write a thesis.

29 April 2001
-I see how it is.
-From last night's Boot, I just can't get "Windmills" out of my head.  Even though in the words of Ariela's dad, it was "interminable (dahling)", it was still a good show.  But that song just kills me.
-Convince me I can have fun today without thinking about the entire research paper I have to do tonight...
-Russ has helped convince me I can have fun... after all, my research paper is NOT a thesis.  Woohoo on that front.  Funny thing is, I'm actually gonna WANT to write my thesis, just not this paper.  Steveo, Jordan, & Driscoll are so wedded to people wanting to be interested in academics (& politics).  I don't understand it.  But I enjoyed seeing them nonetheless.  & tonight's gonna rock.  But softball also rocks.
-Nikki cracks me up.
-Debate kids night at Fenway will be the 9th!  I'm seein' back-to-back M's games!
-364 days ago, I wrote on this page that I wanted someone to tell me they weren't afraid to feel.  I just had a roomful of debaters tell me that for hours, each in a way more emotional & touching than I could fathom.  I'm overwhelmed, clearly unprepared to do work, but absorbed in what really counts in life.  How I'm going to deal with losing those 5 seniors from the debate team I just don't know.  Even Brad & I were starting to like each other!  Good God, the losses we sustain in life.  & the beauty that goes with such sustenance.

28 April 2001
-Seeing "Memento" last night makes a clean 4-for-4 of disturbing movies that I've seen at the Kendall Square Cinema.  Though it was quite thought-provoking & maybe even is recommended for its commentary on some very important issues that I seek to look into in upcoming works of fiction, sorta tangentially at least.  But joining the ranks of "Your Friends & Neighbors", "Happiness", & "All About My Mother" nonetheless.
-After nearly 3 years, a return to Pho Pasteur.  Better company, undoubtedly.  But chinese broccoli means the same odd thing it meant back then.
-Exit Maddy.  Two months... sigh.  We've only had three months so far in the first place.
-Twelve days left here, though.  That's a relief.  & the Mariners are 19-4 & Lisha & I are gonna try to see them in a few days.  Sweet.  I only have 4 academic tasks left & 2 of them are on Monday.  This means tomorrow night's gonna be awful, but after that, it's all good.  & even, if I'm lucky, before that.

27 April 2001
-A Friday without debate!  What is to be done?  I think Madeline has some ideas...

Introspection, My Worst Friend* (Current)
Ye Olde Archive (Past)

Tell me this is not the end...*


*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers", by SWClayton.