El Condor Pasa
(27 April - 6 May 2001)
6 May 2001
-Well, I'm single again. As Rob Greenberg would say, "Ladies...?"
-But things are okay. It was amicable, probably my 4th (maybe only my 3rd) amicable breakup. & technically it's just "taking a break for the summer". So we shall see. Even though she's starting to feel the weirdness, I think we're both better off, both for the 3 months & a week, & for closing it here. For now. Another friend at least. & that, as John Irving would say, paraphrasing, in the novel of his I'm currently reading ("A Widow for One Year") is the end of the story. Not really, but you know.
-Driving back with Mesco was also a good time. College gets in the way of good uses of time at college all the time.
5 May 2001
[from South Hadley, Massachusetts]
-Life is a metaphor.
-Gutsy. But necessary.
-I'm not a fan of that knotted-stomach feeling. But apparently it's just me feeling it... for now.
4 May 2001
-Tonight's poker night was lackluster at best. I doubled my money, but I'm not convinced I doubled my fun. It wasn't that bad, but it just wasn't a way to end the year.
-The Mariners are 22-6 & yet our online poll doesn't recognize that we could win more than 100 games this year. We're on pace to win 127 (one-hundred & twenty-seven) games! Get with it, people! I think we might fall a bit short of that but hey, this is the best start to a season I could imagine. Woohoo!
-I really like this weather we're having & in 6 days I'll be in the promised land of weather. But first, I'm going to Holyoke for the weekend...
3 May 2001
-From Stina, I am always waiting for the example that beats me. Always. It's not funny cuz it's true.
-Important survey: are people always thinking?
-Lisha, I hate to break it to ya, but it's May. We're not, as your page would suggest, on April 33rd. But I'll be seeing you on April 38th! :)
2 May 2001
-I am weary, appreciative, & filled with "Windmills". That's all. This summer is shaping up to be a series of beautiful moments. & even if it isn't, life shapes up that way most of the time. The more steps one takes back, the more focused the picture gets. & what a sparkling vision one can have from a mile out.
-The Quiz has 27 more questions!
1 May 2001
-Soup can labels can be interesting.
-Points to anyone who can name the source of the above reference - an ANCIENT one, I'll give you that hint. Jeez, I know I commented on this last year, but "May Day" always seems to fit the day so perfectly... & I don't mean Red Square Commie Marches so much as DISASTER! But I don't FEEL like it's a disaster... I feel like it's the natural conclusion of my recent awakenings about academics. As Ariela told me, it'd do me good to fail a class. Gris confronted this with matter-of-factness. I just need to make up my mind. Nothing I care about's in jeopardy... I just need to figure out where the line is between pride & dignity.
30 April 2001
-I am done with science FOREVER! (Do you know what fo'eva means?...)
-I am not done with this paper... yet. Either way, whatever happens, I keep my scholarship. So I'll take my time. I care too much about the things that count to care about these things anymore. I have resigned from the gradegame. I'm just lingering for a piece of paper that's the same either way. & for the opportunity to debate & write a thesis.
29 April 2001
-I see how it is.
-From last night's Boot, I just can't get "Windmills" out of my head. Even though in the words of Ariela's dad, it was "interminable (dahling)", it was still a good show. But that song just kills me.
-Convince me I can have fun today without thinking about the entire research paper I have to do tonight...
-Russ has helped convince me I can have fun... after all, my research paper is NOT a thesis. Woohoo on that front. Funny thing is, I'm actually gonna WANT to write my thesis, just not this paper. Steveo, Jordan, & Driscoll are so wedded to people wanting to be interested in academics (& politics). I don't understand it. But I enjoyed seeing them nonetheless. & tonight's gonna rock. But softball also rocks.
-Nikki cracks me up.
-Debate kids night at Fenway will be the 9th! I'm seein' back-to-back M's games!
-364 days ago, I wrote on this page that I wanted someone to tell me they weren't afraid to feel. I just had a roomful of debaters tell me that for hours, each in a way more emotional & touching than I could fathom. I'm overwhelmed, clearly unprepared to do work, but absorbed in what really counts in life. How I'm going to deal with losing those 5 seniors from the debate team I just don't know. Even Brad & I were starting to like each other! Good God, the losses we sustain in life. & the beauty that goes with such sustenance.
28 April 2001
-Seeing "Memento" last night makes a clean 4-for-4 of disturbing movies that I've seen at the Kendall Square Cinema. Though it was quite thought-provoking & maybe even is recommended for its commentary on some very important issues that I seek to look into in upcoming works of fiction, sorta tangentially at least. But joining the ranks of "Your Friends & Neighbors", "Happiness", & "All About My Mother" nonetheless.
-After nearly 3 years, a return to Pho Pasteur. Better company, undoubtedly. But chinese broccoli means the same odd thing it meant back then.
-Exit Maddy. Two months... sigh. We've only had three months so far in the first place.
-Twelve days left here, though. That's a relief. & the Mariners are 19-4 & Lisha & I are gonna try to see them in a few days. Sweet. I only have 4 academic tasks left & 2 of them are on Monday. This means tomorrow night's gonna be awful, but after that, it's all good. & even, if I'm lucky, before that.
27 April 2001
-A Friday without debate! What is to be done? I think Madeline has some ideas...
Introspection, My Worst
Ye Olde Archive (Past)
Tell me this is not the end...*
*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers", by SWClayton.