A Hazy Shade of Winter
(17-26 January 2001)

26 January 2001
-Now I get to agonize.  But in a good way.  Fun.  But really, it kinda is.

25 January 2001
-Normalized communication is always cool.
-Good to know that everyone is going through a lot of big things this week.  But hey, I'm having fun.  Being busy is the best thing in the world.  Groovy groovy jazzy funky.
-Of course Kate called after Mesco & Stina.  Who would leave her outta the fun?!
-Words of wisdom from Lisa (my boss), who has been sick of late... "I will, god willing, be at work tomorrow.  It will be tough to tear myself away from daytime t.v.
but I think I've watched enough miracle makeovers and troubled teens that need to be sent to bootcamp."
-The new debate e-board rocks my world.  I love it!
-Could this day get ANY better?!

24 January 2001
-Well that was the longest debate meeting EVER.  With the practice round, it went till 1 in the morning, which made it precisely 5 & a half hours.  & I was in a 3-hour class right before that.  I guess there's a reason I'm hungry & exhausted right now.  But I'm also, as per expectation, TD & Prez of the team.  Now I just have to deal with another semester of Captain Brad.  Holy crapola, that's not cool.  But the Board is & I'm pleased.  & yet more people think I should run for APDA Board.  Good golly.
-This week is about varying shades of excrement hitting the air-conditioning with greater & greater rapidity.  Crescendo time will be sometime this weekend I'm sure.  Wowie, pretty scary.
-Ariela remains one of the coolest people I know to just TALK to.  & her place absolutely rocks.  I want to move in to the alcove she has off her room - it says "writer's lair" all over it.  Not literally, but figuratively.  Though the sorority chick angels have got to go.  But she's trying to take them out, believe you me.
-I have all these little stock phrases that go on the end of these updates.  I swear, half the byte space on this file is me saying "believe you me" or "woohoo" or "golly" or "dubious" or something like that.  Sheesh.  See, there it is again.

23 January 2001
-Debate team elections for 2001 today!  I think, since I'm close to doing so already, I should just run for every position on the team.  At least coach would be a paid position.  Heck, I could win most of them.  But I guess I'll just keep it to Prez & Tourney Director... perhaps 2 of the only 3 unopposed elections tonight...

22 January 2001
-Risk is such a satisfying experience.  Walking away from Castle Commons having definitively conquered the world is a feeling that just carries a certain stable presence to it.  I feel more adequate somehow.  I know that sounds lame, but between that & Civ 2 Net with DK & Jaque, I world domination is kinda on the brain.
-Confusion is about to abound.  & all I can think is Zirkin saying "Zimzimzimzimzimzimzimzim" in my head.  Long story.
-Am I up to my new runaroundlikeachickenwithmyheadcutoffandthrownintothenextcounty Monday/Wednesday schedule?  Today we find out!

-Studying Physics or almost any science (but it's been Physics lately) always reminds me of studying fascism or feudalism or some other defunct & backwards political system.  It's like they know all the flaws & how everything's been disproven & shown to be deeply harmful & contradictory, yet they teach it like a system to not just be observed, but copied, fully understood, & even emulated.  It's like studying to be the next Mussolini, or at least trying to replicate all his formulas for leadership.  But I don't know if the atoms even do run on time... last time I took Physics, none of the experiments worked.  That, of course, was 6.5 long years ago.
-Dude, I never said Physics was bad necessarily, I implied it was WRONG.  It goes beyond just the "force/no force" stuff; today the prof spent his entire lecture on how various parts of Physics are known to be inaccurate.  What's more, other things are based on "absolutes" like the number of times cesium vibrates, which seems to me like something that can't be nailed down so finitely.  Everywhere I turn in the study of sciences, I see more things taken as "given" that would never hold up in a debate round.
-I thought this was Brandeis.  How can my indoor soccer class be so intense?  We ought not have atheletes here!
-Now that I'm working at the desk, I really love my job!

21 January 2001
-Those are exactly the kinds of conversations that make my life seem worthwhile.  It's good just to have those new people in one's life.  It's comfortable & cool as of now.  Now I just have to avoid overthinking it all.  As I always do.  & she does.  I just wish I had some confidence that, well, anything.
-Fish is forever my inspiration.  & he just cracks me up.
-Break high, drop in quarters.  Why change now?  Zirkin & I are true pros at this with 4 straight tournaments of doing just that.
-In addition to updating everything, I eventually need to redesign the Brandeis team page, which seems to be lagging behind with the new flashy APDA site doing its thing.  I never feel like I have quite the free time I need.  Maybe after the Risk game, I just won't sleep tonight.  I remember a time when that was standard procedure; now it sounds like actually changing things up...

20 January 2001
[from Amherst, Massachusetts]
-Sometimes, you just gotta crack open the dance floor.  Sometimes, you just can't care.  As I told Nikki, I learned to dance by stopping caring.  A one-step process.  Sometimes, that's all you need.
-I'm always so damn insecure about whether someone's being nice to me like everyone else or whether it's good for just me.  I always assume that it's nothing personal unless it's negative.  That's an inconsistency, but it's got its reasons.  Like everything else, I suppose.  I guess it's just nice if & when I figure out that someone really does value me more than the average Joe.
-What ARE the odds of continually hitting Dave & Laurence in quarters?
-The quarters-drop rivalry with Garin!  Arr!
-Dubiosity on a stick with fries.  Of all the people to share "taste" with.  Christ.
-Remind me to resolve that situation.  Brandzy knows I should.  I know I should.  It would be so much better for everyone for so many reasons.  & it's the only reason I've been frustrated much today.  Nothing in life is every easy.  Ever.

19 January 2001
-A $22.50 take isn't a record, but it's the best way to start off the semester.  You just can't argue with Thursday nights.
-Freaking UNet... if this causes confusion about debate team rides, I'm going to be less than pleased.

18 January 2001
-Well, it's always nice to learn someone doesn't hate you.  Really.  A little surreal, but definitely welcome.  Almost every time I become convinced someone'll never speak to me again, they do their best to prove me wrong.  In the past, the manners of this proof have often been less than stellar, but this was far from that.  So that's cool & a relief.  & certainly not what I was expecting when exiting the library after 7 hours of class & 2 hours of work.
-Be forewarned... an overhaul of the webpage is upcoming.  A specter is haunting the page.  Or something.  Just wait till I'm not quite so exhausted.
-I like the weekend starting at 11 am on Thursday.  Soon, this will no longer be what's up, however.

-After a few hours of work, the Pond is now completely revamped.  Streamlined even.  Don't worry, the old Pond is still available for viewing if you liked it better.  But I had grown weary of it.  So, lemme know what you think of the new style.  I know, I still need to update many things, including the friends page (can you believe I still have the "MUN-fun crew" listed there?!), as well as this very page with its archive.  But hey, progress is progress.

17 January 2001
-I hate mixed messages.  So does Johnny.  He admittedly has more to worry about than I, but I'm still not picnicking exactly.  I just can't read anything quite right & it's leaving me disgruntled & sour.  & very much wondering what I was thinking all this time.  But I suppose I do a lot of that.  For now I'm just letting one key follow the other & trying to decipher anything from the haze of muck that seems to be alerting itself to me.  Good golly.  This is unsatisfactory at very best.
-Everybody's updating.  Really.  Everybody.  Or at least the dual halves of Bob... that is if G & A can spell Bob.  Which you know they can.  & do.
-Speaking of which, I need to update my page too.  The fact that the Intro' entry from 28 November 2000 is still on here is an indication that I'm overdue.  That & the front page was updated even longer ago than that.  Sheesh.

-Grr.  Arr.  Not pleased.  Disgruntled.  That is all.


Introspection, My Worst Friend* (Current)
Ye Olde Archive (Past)

Tell me this is not the end...*

*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers", by SWClayton.