Things Have Changed
(18-27 October 2004)

27 October 2004
-Curse 86'ed.  Eighty-six years after the last title, when their last World Series was in 1986.  Eight straight games.  Beating the Yankees & the Cardinals, the two classic nemesi.  It couldn't be more perfect for the Boston Red Sox.  It would've been great in 1999, & great to be in Usdan now 5 years later.  I can only imagine what it was like to actually be there, probably with more people packed in front of that big TV than any time since September 11th.  Though as I type this, it occurs to me that there may be a new epicenter of campus TV in the new student center.  Regardless.  Hooray for the Beans.  The moon eclipsed indeed.
-Em's quarter-century computer arrived today, exactly one month after her birthday.  It's blue & shiny & not so bad, for a laptop.

26 October 2004
-The week's been draining again, culminating in 90 minutes of overtime last night with tons of consequences & late nights for the kids.  I'm dreading having to catch up on all my notes for the month when the work-week ends as well.  There are over 100 of them.  I'm not exactly looking forward to today's effort either, given how the kids have been lately.  There's just a whole lot of slogging going on.

25 October 2004
-Cheese taquitos are an exciting new discovery, & by far the best offering at the Mexicali Rose.
-The plexiglass replacement prevented the third broken window of the year.  Humans learn slowly, but we do learn.

24 October 2004
-Some really enduring things are sometimes able to emerge from random expenditures of free time.  If only my creativity could be more useful these days.
-Sundays have been easier than other days of the week, which is just about our only saving grace.  If only we could get people to like school!

23 October 2004
-Finally saw the movie "K-PAX", which has been on the list of possibilities for years.  It didn't disappoint, & sparked rumination that quickly led to self-reflection that was a bit more than I bargained for.  In light of my recent moods, it's all just swirling together.  Not getting conclusions; simply feeling more overwhelmed.  I am struck, on a lighter note, by the remarkable consistency of Kevin Spacey movies.  Such a remarkable percentage of them are thought-provoking & philosophically sound.
-I know I should sleep, & rest would be good for my illness.  But sleep hasn't been too restful of late & it's strangely exacerbated elements of my congestion/draining.  I'm stuck.

22 October 2004
-The take from last night's poker game was much more moderate, with me up a shade over $10.  Cameron was the big winner & Edwin once again took some major cash.  It seems that we have a good & consistent little crew forming up, & I can't complain.  Anything competitive being back in my life, with the added bonus of being social, is all good.
-Feeling so lazy these days.  A lot of it is residual illness, but I can't blame everything on that.  There are times I feel I'm in a big fast-paced race to nowhere.  Sigh.

21 October 2004
-I feel like I'm in a long-standing state of unfocused aggravation, a kind of untargeted frustration that seeps into everything at some level & renders me powerless to really take on any important projects.  All the old foes are in play... the inertia, the exhaustion, the slacking.  But seriously.  Why is it getting to me this much?
-Poker tonight... at the Big Blue House!

20 October 2004
-What a different & worthwhile meeting!  Rather than going on about how the kids continue to be unmotivated & frustrating, we simply talked about the job & what's keeping us all coming back to it.  Given how frustrating my work was with the minor illness & the exhaustion, it was a great opportunity for everyone to take stock.  I'm feeling better already.
-Hard to believe that Emily & I survived our trip to the post office today.  We had over 80 packages for PIRG in their "No on 64" campaign, each of a different weight, to be mailed.  The mailing costs alone were just shy of $700, & we were in the post office for a solid 90 minutes.  The line was out the door for much of that time.  Sheepish.
-The world is ending.  Red Sox defeat Yankees.  This is close to as happy as I could be at something unrelated to the Mariners in baseball.  Francona even tried to lose it by bringing in Pedro, but the lead was too big.  First 0-3 to 4-3 comeback ever.  My oh my!  For just a brief second, I wish I were back at Brandeis.

19 October 2004
-One has to sit down at the end of the day & find the things, however small or dim, that are keeping one going in the hope column.  We have one kid who is doing incredibly well despite the rest of the house going up in metaphorical flames.  It's not much, but it's something.
-I'm continually impressed by what good & interesting people my fellow Seneca employees are.  I know it takes something different to sign up for working with level-14 children, but getting brief rides with some of my co-workers (it's a convoluted issue with our house van that isn't that interesting) has shown me just how cool some of these folks are.

18 October 2004
-Actually feeling quite a bit better, the result (perhaps) of this illness being so similar to the one I had over camp week & before.  Slogging through work, which continues to be challenging & is now teetering into overwhelming, especially given my energy level.

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