The Silence of the Sirens
(14-23 October 2003)

23 October 2003
-If I better understood my own motivational capacity & what holds my attention, I'd be much more productive.  As is, I seem to follow a lot of whims.  I wonder if that makes me whimsical.

22 October 2003
-I've now been through a treatment review for all of the kids at work.  I can put into context the suffering they've all been through, but have a small danger of picking & choosing based on their experiences.  Not that kids who have been through trauma don't all deserve sympathy, but it's hard not to judge one person's traumatic experience against another.  But they've said I should be getting annoyed with some of the kids by now & that really hasn't happened, so it's all good.  & I continue to ponder on the fine line between revealing too much & having nothing to say here.

21 October 2003
-The weeks go by faster now.  At work, that is.  Another sign of improved ease.

20 October 2003
-Things were bouncing today, but they stayed in the yard.
-Pandora is back to her old habits, but now it's on the tablecloth that we carefully lay over the bed to protect it instead of the bed itself.  Mefears she believes this is her new catbox.
-This house is just a little lonely.

19 October 2003
-The entire process of life is learning how to think less about certain things so that one can spend the free thinking time focusing on new things.  A big factor in exhaustion is expending a great deal of new thought towards something, especially something one has been considering for a long time already.  Once that becomes more rote, has a more streamlined path from brain to action, then it frees up the active thinking progress space for more new & different ideas or processes.  We do this hundreds of different ways, rarely really thinking about the process itself.  With my job, I'm really starting to turn the corner on not having to think nearly as much about it anymore.  Every day, I become more streamlined in my interactions & functions, becoming less recognizable as "new staff".  The job is dynamic, so I hopefully will never be going to sleep at this one like recent past employment, but once one gets over the initial hurdles of anything (driving & typing, for example, as illustrations of things which would take forever if they still required thought), it just gets a lot easier.

18 October 2003
-Good to catch up on some stuff that needed catching up on.  Still a ways to go, but it's a start.
-I received a very nice e-mail from a woman in Montreal today that said she loved the Country Quiz, felt it was true & funny, & was going to read my book as a result.  Marketing in action!  I wonder how many people actually picked up a copy of Jennifer Government because of that NationStates game.  Not that the CQ could ever rival NationStates.

17 October 2003
-I really don't do much sometimes.  Blah.

16 October 2003
-For reasons still unclear to me, I just joined Friendster.  My name should be easy to track down, since it's probably unique to me in all the world.  Will you be my friend?
-Today I awoke to the sound of a large metal screw coming towards my head.  It was being drilled into the window frame directly beside the bed.  Without consulting us, our landlord decided to put bars on all three of our windows.  While some of our neighbors had such bars on their windows, the Realty had said that we could have them "if we asked for them".  Finding prisons to be undesirable places, we decided not to ask for them.   But this morning, they have been placed on our front, bathroom, & back windows.  My guess is that all the noise I heard last night was one of our neighbors getting robbed (we're accustomed to a ton of late-night noise from next door, so thought nothing of it) & they're panicking that everyone's going to move if they don't do this.  A call would've been a nice gesture nonetheless.

15 October 2003
-I'm always tired on Wednesdays, but I have a sinking fear that I'm getting sick as well.  Em feels that she also might be getting sick, which is especially bad since she goes to Beantown on Friday.  Which could be a nutty place to be if things bounce the right way in the ALCS.
-No Cubs/Sox World Series.  I was pulling for that just so it could be the clash of the curses.  But I'm still obviously pulling for the Sox in a big way over the most heartless team in baseball.  Though if they were going to break the curse, I wish it had been in 1999 when I was there!

14 October 2003
-Another solid day knocked out at work.  Things continue to improve on the front of getting along with my boss.  The job seems easier everyday.  Hopefully this won't mean that I'll be too bored to do it in 3 months.  I'm sure that the kids will change enough to hold my interest for longer than that.  There was a big change just tonight, but I really can't talk about it here.  It's almost like working for the CIA.  Except moral.

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