Across the Iron Road
(1-10 July 2000)

10 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-How'd it get to be 10 July already?  Crazy.  At least it's the All-Star Break & Seattle is posting the 2nd best record in the majors.  Come October, I'd like to be seated in front of that big TV in Usdan watching some Mariner playoff baseball.
-In a proper listing of the top 100 most influential people of all-time history, is it egregiously unfair to have only 15 of them come from prior to "0 A.D."?  If so, can you NAME at least 16 who deserve to be on the list from before that time?  Also helpful would be telling us exactly who is responsible for the domestication of animals.
-The audacity of Tanoan knows NO bounds.  I just got a TICKET for "overnight parking".  Because of Tanoan's funky traffic laws, it's actually DK's responsibility, but it's still outrageous.  I'm surprised I didn't get a ticket upon entering said gated community for having braids in my hair!
-Driving home this morning from locale mentioned above, I saw a truck while I was stopped at the Academy & Ventura/Layton light.  It was carrying lumber rather precariously & while it made a left turn, lost the tie that had kept all the boards together, dropping it in the middle of the intersection.  While danger was by no means imminent, I was reminded of my Dad's favorite old fable (brought down through ages of Clayton family lore, apparently) about the horseshoenail that lost the kingdom.  I think that would make a good theme, among other things, for a music video.
-"But you never seem to run outta things to say..."
-Thanks to Kate (see her "Ramblings", linked above) for support on the foursome situation.  But don't start giving him "5", because that means he'll get dragged into this mess too!  The horror, the horror.  Please give me a list of his exes so I know who to avoid...
-It's so nice to never be on 'IM these days.  The more I consider that medium, the less I like it.  I love staying in touch with people, but most 'IM conversations amount to "hey" stretched out into a 40-minute conversation.  It might be time to disconnect from that come Waltham time again.
-I need to write these 2 stories.  They might be the spark that relaunches my whole writing effort.
-In vastly other news, why do I get a bad feeling that there could be a military coup in Israel in the coming week?  It seems everytime peace has a legitimate shot over there, all the conservatives run for cover.  I'm convinced that Israeli conservatives (for the most part) don't WANT peace.  Militarism gives them something to do.  Remind anyone of conservatives in other parts of the world?

9 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-Of course I am talking to everyone.  Just not as often as I'd like of late, since the trip has been consuming my time & all.  & all the wonderful friends I live around.  But e-mail can be expected shortly.  Hey, if you'd driven 2,000 miles in the past week, you'd be tired too.
-Jesus.  How much miscommunication has to surround this foursome?  You want some advice?  Never ever let an ex of yours date someone who has dated another ex of yours.  Because then people will run around & tell people things, misunderstand things, & blame you for everything.  It's insane.  Let's use numbers - the people who know who is who will understand.  2 tells 1 that 4 has some problems with self-perception.  1 doesn't want to tell 3 this, but mentions it in passing, & softens the message CONSIDERABLY with favorable light on 4 & skepticism about how bad what 2's saying really is.  But now, because 3 sees this as a valid warning in retrospect, which it probably was, 1 gets all kinds of flack from 2 about saying anything, even though it was very softened.  EVEN THOUGH 1 had told 2 something that had been directly repeated verbatim, with harsher implications, to 4 about 3's perception of 4.  Welcome to 2-way streets.  Only trouble is, in these foursome situations, it's all a 4-way highway & everybody ends up splattered.
-On the plus side, the local crew has been great the past couple days.  Even if we'll never see DK again after he moves to freaking Los Angeles.  But I've been reveling in gratitude for my lifelong NM-based friends 'round here, so 'sallgood.  Really.  I'm reaching a 52-week high for happiness.
-Schneider's thoughts on Clinton's foreign policy & the Monica Lewinsky incident:  "While he's got Yassir Arafat on the phone.  Unbelievable.  That's a long-distance phone call!"
-In preparation for the future, I intend to spend the rest of the day at DK's.  I'll get back to you all tomorrow.

8 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-Go see "Chicken Run"!  Now.  It's hilarious, & while some of the jokes & plot themes run the risk of being slightly cheesy, most of it is both highly amusing & excellent satirical commentary.  It's nice to have an actively pro-vegetarian movie on the market, too.  Probably my favorite movie of the year so far, unless someone can prove me wrong, which has yet to happen.  Fish couldn't believe it, but still can't come up with one I liked better.
-It's all about ridin' the rail.
-The "Thunder Road" version of CC's "Rain King" is perhaps my favorite CC composition of all-time, which is saying more than you can imagine.  Fish got the limited-edition "Face the Promised Land" disc of CC at Denver U & it would be worth it just for that version of that song.  Wow.  I need to sit down with that on repeat till I know it.
-We're never going to see DK again.  That makes me sad.
-Who was more out of it:  Fish, Gris, Anna, Daisy (the kitten), the piano, or me?  That's one heck of a tough call.  But a fun one to consider.
-I like my hair currently & quite a few others seem to, too.  Only drawback is it reminds me a bit of Senior Retreat, since it's similar, only much longer.  Senior Retreat is not something I really want to be reminded of.  I really hope that that's the saddest I will ever be in my life, because surpassing that is not a pleasant thought.
-"We can make it if we run..."

7 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-Back early.  Many many reasons.  Most of all, not making the same mistake twenty-nine times.  I'm trying to keep it to minefields that I am not SURE are going to disappear in addition to blowing up.
-Rest areas are spiffy, especially when one happens to have a sleeping bag in the back.  Thank you, Holbrook, Arizona.
-Confirmation?  My last gas tab was $17.17.
-The full Dylan set list from a few days back is available here.  I'd forgotten, in the sum total of all that followed, how powerfully "Masters of War" had opened up the show.  What a great night that was.

6 July 2000
[from the Grand Canyon]
-I AM a green-striped Natural Gas Powered Grand Canyon shuttle bus.  Or at least I look like one.
-The wind continues to be my soul.
-The similarities are all uncanny.
-When when when am I going to learn to listen to my intuition?  & react?  In time?  The consequences keep getting more dramatic, too.  Watching something one KNEW would happen is a lot like a movie in slow-motion - realizing it's real is freaky.  Feeling responsible is almost automatic, even if one thought about reacting properly.
-I should leave before I fall for her.  It's just not worth it.

5 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-Ay!  Who'd have thought sunburn could creep up under 2 hours of the noonday sun?  When one is moving (i.e. playing basketball), one never feels the burn of the sun till it's way too late.
-Extremely disconcerting news.  Rumor at this point, but certainly presented as news.  I need to find a way to verify that.  & find out who the guy is.  & warn him.  Or at the very least, try to discern whether he needs a warning or whether she's changed enough so that he's not doing what I wanted to.  Good Lord.
-Exit Jaque.  'Twas fun while it lasted, & it'll last again soon.
-I forget very easily how important time to myself can be.  Usually I have way more of it than I want, but those rare times when I have less really drive the point home.  Balance & space are crucial.
-Exit me.  Grand Canyon again.  Back by the weekend sometime... have fun!  Updates to be expected upon return.

4 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-Screw Independence Day.  I mean, have a good day, but just don't make it based on the historical significance.  You'll have a better day if you don't, trust me.
-Dylan show was amazing, best of the 3 of his sets I've seen.  Though it was the opener for Phil "I do a lotta weed, man" Lesh, so I dunno about the whole night - it slid downhill a bit as a total experience.  Nonetheless, the Dylan was spectacular as the sun went down on Mesa del Sol & included "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right", "She Belongs to Me", "If Not for You", plus an encore that wound through "Mr. Tambourine Man" & CLOSED on "Blowin' in the Wind".  By far the best of his shows, despite the lack of the 2 songs I'd most missed from his previous playing.
-Quotes for the night... "'I thought you'd never say hello,' she said, 'you look like the silent type'" & "I ain't saying you treated me unkind, you coulda done better, but I don't mind... you just sorta wasted my precious time, but don't think twice, it's all right."

3 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-Oddly enough, that's a great relief.  Saddening in some elements, but it's the explanation I've always wanted from so many people, & now it's proven that it actually can be done, because someone's done it.  All I ever asked for was honesty.  & I've finally gotten it.  This will make it much easier to stay friends, that's for darn sure.
-At the same time, despite the positives, every reason I didn't ask people out cold-turkey in the past has been confirmed.  I think I'm going back to being sure the other person has independent feelings for me before asking such questions.
-SWM seeks SF with intensity & without fear of intensity.  Sarcasm a plus.  Open honesty mandatory.  Would like to make sure that SF has independent feelings for SWM before taking further action.  Inquire soon.
-I'm seeing Bob Dylan today!  But he might be OPENING the show, which would be far less than stellar.  But he's played "Things Have Changed" the last 3 shows, so I'm raring to go for that...
-Movies are time machines.  Especially Gris's "love video".  1997 was alive in that living room for a solid 5 minutes.

2 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-Back... before you knew it!
-Does anyone have statistical facts about the Century Rio 24 movie theater in this very town?  Vital info would include how much money they make (or lose) annually, how much it cost to build the theater, & who has invested in them.  Yes, this is another one of our silly debates that everybody (except Gris) loves to argue about...
-Some things never change.  Some people never change.  This can get interesting, because I wonder what kind of full-fledged adults these unchanging people will make.  I guess twentyish is close enough to that adulthood anyway.  This thought is inspiring in some cases, but tiresome in many others.

1 July 2000
[from the Grand Canyon]
-16 years... it's nice to not have the chicken pox this time.
-The sheer amount of space in the Grand Canyon is almost beyond comprehension.  & it all has a visible endpoint.
-Charles' comments last night almost moved me to tears.  I may have summed up his thoughts, but he succinctly stated my life goal, applied it to his experience, & told me I'd been succeeding.  It was quite a moment.  If nothing else, this page & especially this section are eternally vindicated.  Funny how one momentous positive can outweigh all other negatives.
-Everybody loves Frontier tortillas.
-I spent the night sleeping on Sarah's keys.  I think there's a metaphor here.
-"Would you not like to be... sitting on top of the world, let your legs hang free..."
-Edges, as I've long maintained, are entirely psychological.  The idea of standing on a precipice with a 3-foot drop barely bothers anybody - there's little concern of balance-loss.  Turn that into 300 feet & everyone scurries back from the brink like they're being chased by a rabid cheetah.  Even if the latter ledge is more substantial.  Fear is entirely based on potential loss - usually an unwarranted concern of such.  If we get hung up on potential losses, which happen to be utterly omnipresent, we'll paralyze ourselves not just back from precipices, but from life itself.
-Why am I wearing black jeans today?


Introspection, My Worst Friend* (Current)
Ye Olde Archive (Past)

Tell me this is not the end...*

*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers", by SWClayton.