Across the Iron Road
(1-10 July 2000)
10 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-How'd it get to be 10 July
already? Crazy. At least
it's the All-Star Break & Seattle is posting the 2nd best
record in the majors. Come October, I'd like to be
seated in
front of that big TV in Usdan
watching some Mariner playoff baseball.
-In a proper listing of
the top 100 most influential
people of all-time history, is it egregiously unfair to have only
15 of them come from prior
to "0 A.D."? If so, can you NAME at least 16 who
deserve to be on the list from
before that time? Also helpful would be telling us exactly
who is responsible for the
domestication of animals.
-The audacity of Tanoan knows NO
bounds. I just got a TICKET
for "overnight parking". Because of Tanoan's funky
traffic laws, it's actually
DK's responsibility, but it's still outrageous. I'm
surprised I didn't get a ticket upon
entering said gated community for having braids in my
hair!
-Driving home this morning from
locale mentioned above, I saw a truck while I was stopped at the
Academy & Ventura/Layton
light. It was carrying lumber rather precariously &
while it made a left turn, lost
the tie that had kept all the boards together, dropping it in the
middle of the intersection.
While danger was by no means imminent, I was reminded of my
Dad's favorite old fable
(brought down through ages of Clayton family lore, apparently)
about the horseshoenail that
lost the kingdom. I think that would make a good theme,
among other things, for a music
video.
-"But you never seem to run outta things to
say..."
-Thanks to Kate (see her
"Ramblings", linked above) for support
on the foursome
situation. But don't start giving him
"5", because that means he'll get
dragged into this
mess too! The horror, the horror.
Please give me a list of his exes so I
know who to
avoid...
-It's so nice to never be on 'IM
these days. The more I consider that
medium,
the less I like it. I love staying in
touch with people, but most 'IM conversations
amount
to "hey" stretched out into a
40-minute conversation. It might be time
to
disconnect from that come Waltham time
again.
-I need to write these 2 stories.
They
might be the spark that relaunches my whole
writing effort.
-In vastly other news, why do
I get a bad feeling that there could be a
military coup in
Israel in the coming week? It seems
everytime peace has a legitimate shot over
there,
all the conservatives run for cover. I'm
convinced that Israeli conservatives (for the
most part) don't WANT peace. Militarism
gives them something to do. Remind anyone
of conservatives in other parts of the world?
9 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-Of course I am talking to everyone. Just
not as often as I'd like of late, since the trip has been consuming my time
& all. & all the wonderful friends I live around. But e-mail
can be expected shortly. Hey, if you'd driven 2,000 miles in the past
week, you'd be tired too.
-Jesus. How much miscommunication has to surround this foursome? You
want some advice? Never ever let an ex of yours date someone who has dated
another ex of yours. Because then people will run around & tell people
things, misunderstand things, & blame you for everything. It's insane.
Let's use numbers - the people who know who is who will understand. 2
tells 1 that 4 has some problems with self-perception. 1 doesn't want
to tell 3 this, but mentions it in passing, & softens the message CONSIDERABLY
with favorable light on 4 & skepticism about how bad what 2's saying really
is. But now, because 3 sees this as a valid warning in retrospect, which
it probably was, 1 gets all kinds of flack from 2 about saying anything, even
though it was very softened. EVEN THOUGH 1 had told 2 something that had
been directly repeated verbatim, with harsher implications, to 4 about 3's perception
of 4. Welcome to 2-way streets. Only trouble is, in these foursome
situations, it's all a 4-way highway & everybody ends up splattered.
-On the plus side, the local crew has been great the past couple days. Even
if we'll never see DK again after he moves to freaking Los Angeles. But
I've been reveling in gratitude for my lifelong NM-based friends 'round here,
so 'sallgood. Really. I'm reaching a 52-week high for happiness.
-Schneider's thoughts on Clinton's foreign policy & the Monica Lewinsky
incident: "While he's got Yassir Arafat on the phone. Unbelievable.
That's a long-distance phone call!"
-In preparation for the future, I intend to spend the rest of the day at DK's.
I'll get back to you all tomorrow.
8 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-Go see "Chicken Run"! Now. It's
hilarious, & while some of the jokes & plot themes run the risk of being
slightly cheesy, most of it is both highly amusing & excellent satirical
commentary. It's nice to have an actively pro-vegetarian movie on the
market, too. Probably my favorite movie of the year so far, unless someone
can prove me wrong, which has yet to happen. Fish couldn't believe it,
but still can't come up with one I liked better.
-It's all about ridin' the rail.
-The "Thunder Road" version of CC's "Rain King" is perhaps
my favorite CC composition of all-time, which is saying more than you can imagine.
Fish got the limited-edition "Face the Promised Land" disc of
CC at Denver U & it would be worth it just for that version of that song.
Wow. I need to sit down with that on repeat till I know it.
-We're never going to see DK again. That makes me sad.
-Who was more out of it: Fish, Gris, Anna, Daisy (the kitten), the piano,
or me? That's one heck of a tough call. But a fun one to consider.
-I like my hair currently & quite a few others seem to, too. Only
drawback is it reminds me a bit of Senior Retreat, since it's similar, only
much longer. Senior Retreat is not something I really want to be reminded
of. I really hope that that's the saddest I will ever be in my life, because
surpassing that is not a pleasant thought.
-"We can make it if we run..."
7 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-Back early. Many many reasons. Most
of all, not making the same mistake twenty-nine times. I'm trying to keep
it to minefields that I am not SURE are going to disappear in addition to blowing
up.
-Rest areas are spiffy, especially when one happens to have a sleeping bag in
the back. Thank you, Holbrook, Arizona.
-Confirmation? My last gas tab was $17.17.
-The full Dylan set list from a few days back is available here. I'd forgotten,
in the sum total of all that followed, how powerfully "Masters of War"
had opened up the show. What a great night that was.
6 July 2000
[from the Grand Canyon]
-I AM a green-striped Natural Gas Powered Grand
Canyon shuttle bus. Or at least I look like one.
-The wind continues to be my soul.
-The similarities are all uncanny.
-When when when am I going to learn to listen to my intuition? & react?
In time? The consequences keep getting more dramatic, too. Watching
something one KNEW would happen is a lot like a movie in slow-motion - realizing
it's real is freaky. Feeling responsible is almost automatic, even if
one thought about reacting properly.
-I should leave before I fall for her. It's just not worth it.
5 July 2000
[from Albuquerque]
-Ay! Who'd have thought sunburn could creep
up under 2 hours of the noonday sun? When one is moving (i.e. playing
basketball), one never feels the burn of the sun till it's way too late.
-Extremely disconcerting news. Rumor at this point, but certainly presented
as news. I need to find a way to verify that. & find out who
the guy is. & warn him. Or at the very least, try to discern
whether he needs a warning or whether she's changed enough so that he's not
doing what I wanted to. Good Lord.
-Exit Jaque. 'Twas fun while it lasted, & it'll last again soon.
-I forget very easily how important time to myself can be. Usually I have
way more of it than I want, but those rare times when I have less really drive
the point home. Balance & space are crucial.
-Exit me. Grand Canyon again. Back by the weekend sometime... have
fun! Updates to be expected upon return.
4 July 2000 3 July 2000 2 July 2000 1 July 2000 Introspection, My Worst Friend* (Current)
[from Albuquerque]
-Screw Independence Day. I mean, have a good
day, but just don't make it based on the historical significance. You'll
have a better day if you don't, trust me.
-Dylan show was amazing, best of the 3 of his sets I've seen. Though it
was the opener for Phil "I do a lotta weed, man" Lesh, so I dunno about
the whole night - it slid downhill a bit as a total experience. Nonetheless,
the Dylan was spectacular as the sun went down on Mesa del Sol & included
"Don't Think Twice, It's All Right", "She Belongs to Me",
"If Not for You", plus an encore that wound through "Mr. Tambourine
Man" & CLOSED on "Blowin' in the Wind". By far the best
of his shows, despite the lack of the 2 songs I'd most missed from his previous
playing.
-Quotes for the night... "'I thought you'd never say hello,' she said, 'you
look like the silent type'" & "I ain't saying you treated me unkind,
you coulda done better, but I don't mind... you just sorta wasted my precious
time, but don't think twice, it's all right."
[from Albuquerque]
-Oddly enough, that's a great relief. Saddening
in some elements, but it's the explanation I've always wanted from so many people,
& now it's proven that it actually can be done, because someone's done it.
All I ever asked for was honesty. & I've finally gotten it.
This will make it much easier to stay friends, that's for darn sure.
-At the same time, despite the positives, every reason I didn't ask people out
cold-turkey in the past has been confirmed. I think I'm going back to
being sure the other person has independent feelings for me before asking such
questions.
-SWM seeks SF with intensity & without fear of intensity. Sarcasm
a plus. Open honesty mandatory. Would like to make sure that SF
has independent feelings for SWM before taking further action. Inquire
soon.
-I'm seeing Bob Dylan today! But he might be OPENING the show, which would
be far less than stellar. But he's played "Things Have Changed"
the last 3 shows, so I'm raring to go for that...
-Movies are time machines. Especially Gris's "love video". 1997
was alive in that living room for a solid 5 minutes.
[from Albuquerque]
-Back... before you knew it!
-Does anyone have statistical facts about the Century Rio 24 movie theater in
this very town? Vital info would include how much money they make (or
lose) annually, how much it cost to build the theater, & who has invested
in them. Yes, this is another one of our silly debates that everybody
(except Gris) loves to argue about...
-Some things never change. Some people never change. This can get
interesting, because I wonder what kind of full-fledged adults these unchanging
people will make. I guess twentyish is close enough to that adulthood
anyway. This thought is inspiring in some cases, but tiresome in many
others.
[from the Grand Canyon]
-16 years... it's nice to not have the chicken
pox this time.
-The sheer amount of space in the Grand Canyon is almost beyond comprehension.
& it all has a visible endpoint.
-Charles' comments last night almost moved me to tears. I may have summed
up his thoughts, but he succinctly stated my life goal, applied it to his experience,
& told me I'd been succeeding. It was quite a moment. If nothing
else, this page & especially this section are eternally vindicated. Funny
how one momentous positive can outweigh all other negatives.
-Everybody loves Frontier tortillas.
-I spent the night sleeping on Sarah's keys. I think there's a metaphor
here.
-"Would you not like to be... sitting on top of the world, let your legs
hang free..."
-Edges, as I've long maintained, are entirely psychological. The idea
of standing on a precipice with a 3-foot drop barely bothers anybody - there's
little concern of balance-loss. Turn that into 300 feet & everyone
scurries back from the brink like they're being chased by a rabid cheetah. Even
if the latter ledge is more substantial. Fear is entirely based on potential
loss - usually an unwarranted concern of such. If we get hung up on potential
losses, which happen to be utterly omnipresent, we'll paralyze ourselves not
just back from precipices, but from life itself.
-Why am I wearing black jeans today?
Ye Olde Archive (Past)
Tell me this is not the end...*
*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers",
by SWClayton.