(28 November - 7 December 2000)

7 December 2000
-Tonight was neat.  College sometimes just needs to be more, well, collegial.  When there's camaradarie, late nights, relaxed atmospheres, & close acquantainces (or perhaps distant friends), college life tends to go pretty well.  Late-night bridge never hurts that.  & Nikki is just a great kid.  So 'sallgood.  & I'm going home in 5 days anyway.  Can't argue with that.
-Man, am I TIRED.  Just thought you'd like to know.
-Nilla Wafers unquestionably have an addictive agent in them.
-Tomorrow is literally a free day.  How liberating is that?

6 December 2000
-ARGH!  I hate logic.  & I give up.  I studied most of the night for the exam (while I wasn't doing my other final exam, which is due in about an hour).  Symbolic logic had to go & be required for the Philosophy major.  What were they THINKing?  I think I'll salvage a C, but I'm really not hoping for more at this point.  To think that I'm that resigned to a grade I would've considered equivalent to failing in high school or even early college.  Sheesh.  How things have fallen.  But regardless, I'm just fed up with it all.  It's a stupid study of how to hold oneself back.  At one point, in response to a truth tree question I had no idea how to tackle in the "truth tree" format, I just wrote that "You can tell this is a logical contradiction just by looking at it..." & went on to explain how that was the case.  & it was the case... it took two simple logical steps to prove that x = ~x (that's something equalling its own contradiction, for the [like me] non-symbolically inclined) - I figured that such an explanation of how that came about should be sufficient to show it wasn't a valid argument.  I swear, if I had to draw a freaking truth tree every time I made a point in debate, there'd certainly be a problem with our whole concept of logic.  I say good riddance.  I just wish it weren't saying the same thing back to my GPA.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish a sensible history exam in which I'm exploring something worthwhile!
-For the first time in about 72 hours, I can now breathe.
-I'm not going to let logic worry me.  Maybe I'll go to grad school, maybe I won't.  Maybe I'll save the world, maybe I won't.  The future is fluid & way too hazy from here anyway.  Right now, I'm going to focus on home & Scotland & the few tangible things in reach.  & think a little in advance about my 3 February 2001 dilemma - more on that later, I'm sure.  Either way, I just don't have the energy or inclination to be upset right now.  6 days, 4 assignments, & 3 unfinished classes...

5 December 2000
-I'm a nutcase.  That's all there is to it.
-Thanks to the lovely concert a few days back, I've had "Darling Lorraine" & "Old" (both off the brand new Paul Simon album) stuck in my head, alternating, all freaking day.  Enough already!
-1 down, 4 to go.
-Southwest Airlines is perhaps the coolest corporation on the face of this capitalist lost cause we call Earth.  Calling them is entertaining enough because their hold is ACTually entertaining.  Anyway, this is all preliminary information to the fact that I'm COMING HOME EARLY!  It's only by 3 days... the 12th now instead of the 15th.  Nonetheless, I'm excited.  The cost for this change?  3 bucks & change.  Spiffy, huh?

4 December 2000
-I'm a fan of the way things are going.  11 days.  & the fall has been gradual from the big weekend.  & there've been plenty of solid distractions, including a trip back to Scheffres 2nd for the first time in ages.  I even had a few games on the old table for almost the first time since the hallowed freshman year.  Those might've been the days, in some regard.  But then again, they might not have.  These aren't bad days either.
-Still have doubts about debate's ability to improve proficiency at paper-writing?  I wrote my Euro History paper in an hour today.  It was almost 2000 words.  That, my friends, is just over 30 words per minute - not merely typing that fast, but WRITING that fast.  I'm back in the ol' euphoria mode after finishing two papers today.
-Paul Simon quotes also don't hurt the euphoria mode.  Moo!
-After my favorite debate weekend of the semester, I'm considering mixing up partnerships next term.  Zirk & I have had a lot of fun, but I enjoy having different partners these days.  & I think it could be lots of fun to debate with some novii.  So we'll just see how things go.  I'm not sure how Zirk will take to all that, but I think it might just be the best call.

3 December 2000
-In all honesty, yesterday was the best day I've had in ages.  Probably the best day in the year 2000, but quite possibly the best day dating back to 1998 sometime.  I'm completely serious.  Between having 5 fantastic debate rounds, making finals with Zimmy, knocking out the top team in the country in semifinals with the lottery case, seeing a Paul Simon concert from the 4th row, hanging out with Freez, Ariela, & the debate kids, & the entire mood & energy of the day, I can't imagine that could easily be topped.  Ariela asked me at one point where I was on the old "temperature" scale - I said mid-90's, which blew everyone away, but was absolutely true.  Did I mention I've now heard "I am a Rock" live?
-The only problem with days like yesterday is they're impossible to follow.  After that, everything feels like a decline.  These next couple weeks are gonna be marginal, mostly for other reasons, anyway.

2 December 2000
-I'll take things outta left field to catch me off-guard for $1000, Alex.

1 December 2000
-Two weeks to Winter Break, baby.  Two weeks.
-My parents are not always the best at understanding when to be more understanding.
-Enter Freez.  Poker night $16 swings are fine by me, when it means -$8 to +$8.  Auspicious.  Actually, mostly just OUTstanding.
-So I'm done with all the crud.  Till Sunday.  Don't bother me till Sunday cause I'm in a GOOOOOOD mood!  Wahoo!

30 November 2000
-I don't care what anybody says, I like Owusu.  I think he's a good guy.  I have no proof of his alleged irrationality.  So there.
-Paper shmaper.
-"I do my best work asleep."  -Brandzy
-STOP THE PRESSES!  The FRONTIER has a WEBSITE!  Thanks to DK on this news of the century.  I'm so excited I can't stand it.  Go there already!!!  This makes my month.  Now the best place on earth no longer has to rely on my piddly little unofficial site to glean the worship it so richly deserves...
-Maybe I'm just non-functional.  That could explain a lot.
-Alright, that's enough worrying for today.  I'm just going to relax & have fun, between practice rounds, Freez's arrival, poker night, & getting ready for MIT tomorrow.  Sure, there's a logic test in there somewhere & this means I'll have to write 2 papers on Sunday night, but this weekend is what I need right now, & doggone it, I'm going to enjoy myself.  Consequences be darned, at least for the time being!

29 November 2000
-Debate has rarely lasted till 1 in the morning before.
-What am I waiting for?  When most people ask that, they do so rhetorically, as in "For gosh sakes, can't I just get up & do X?  What's holding me back?"  In contrast, however, I here ask it earnestly.  What AM I waiting for?  I'm really not sure.  I know I'm slogging through the days, clinging to what holds my interest, but over the long haul, it's all shades of off-gray.  Maybe it's just the dullness of the day.  But it seems the shimmer has fallen off the wheel & I'm wondering what all this rolling is about.

28 November 2000
-I am, in every sense of the concept, insanely proud of my friend John Schneider.  Wow.
-Alright, so, everyone's familiar with how slow a reader I am these days, right?  Well, I just polished off Tim O'Brien's "In the Lake of the Woods" (306 pp.) in less than 5 days.  No kidding.  I started it early early on Friday morning in NH after pulling it off Larry Brown's farm shelf, was enthralled, then checked it out the other day upon reopening of the 'Deis library.  The last 150 pp. were today.  Unreal.  Yes, this is a reflection of the book, not a change in my reading habits.  Basically, the book skirted in & out of relevance, but was utterly enthralling.  & highly disturbing.  But fascinating & brilliantly written.  & certainly enhancing my trepid perspective on many things.  But not overly so.  Just a complement.  Not that I'm looking for backup, particularly.  An odd combination, though, of "Pincer Martin" & "The Things They Carried" - that'll do it to you.
-So it looks like the poker night thing is going to become a chartered campus club.  How freaky is that?  School funds diverted towards our chips & cards!  Neat...
-Not... enough... hours... in... Saturday... Crap-on-stick!


Introspection, My Worst Friend* (Current)
Ye Olde Archive (Past)

Tell me this is not the end...*

*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers", by SWClayton.