{"id":3443,"date":"2017-01-12T21:24:09","date_gmt":"2017-01-13T03:24:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/?p=3443"},"modified":"2017-01-12T21:52:12","modified_gmt":"2017-01-13T03:52:12","slug":"long-nights-journey-into-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/archives\/3443","title":{"rendered":"Long Night’s Journey into Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

Content warning:\u00a0 language, depictions of possible mental health breakdown(s).<\/em><\/p>\n

\n

2:49 AM.\u00a0 I get a request for pickup at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel.\u00a0 It\u2019s a little too early for it to be an airport run, though I\u2019ve had at least one person go that early when they thought that Louis Armstrong International was not perhaps the fastest curb-to-gate place in the country (it\u2019s up there).\u00a0 I pull up to the curb ahead of a taxi driver cleaning out his car who glares at me slightly as I pull past.\u00a0 He\u2019s probably going to wait in front of the Ritz for the next hour or so until an airport rider emerges.\u00a0 I feel a slight twinge of guilt and identify my rider, a huddled looking woman in a big puffy parka.\u00a0 It\u2019s sixty-two degrees out, mild for early January.<\/p>\n

I confirm her name, a Russian name, and she agrees in a fascinating blend of Russian and Southern accents, with a hard-nosed edge to the delivery that would best be described as \u201curban\u201d or even \u201cgangster\u201d.\u00a0 Like she\u2019s pretending to be in a movie about drug dealers.\u00a0 But her face tells me she\u2019s not pretending.<\/p>\n

I swipe the green bar on my phone to start the ride.\u00a0 The map zooms out to reveal the entire southeastern United States.\u00a0 The destination is simply listed as Tucker, GA.\u00a0 No address.\u00a0 I blink once and feel that whooshing rush of adrenaline that comes with the unexpected, the verge of adventure.\u00a0 But then I remember two nights prior and immediately tamp it down.<\/p>\n

Two nights prior, I\u2019d picked up a guy at a rousing French Quarter club toward closing, swiped the green bar, and seen the whole USA.\u00a0 The destination was listed as an address in Tucson, Arizona.\u00a0 The guy had no luggage, was boisterously amiable, talking mile-a-minute, and seemed impatient.\u00a0 I felt a joke was the best approach.\u00a0 \u201cI assume we\u2019re not going to Tucson?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTucson?\u00a0 Hell no!\u00a0 Is that what it put in there?\u00a0 Jesus.\u00a0 I have a house out in Tucson, we could go check it out.\u00a0 I guess it picked up on that.\u00a0 No, just going around the corner to the Bywater.\u00a0 You know where Markey\u2019s is at?\u00a0 It\u2019s right around there.\u00a0 God.\u00a0 No wonder they wouldn\u2019t give me the estimate of the fare and I had to say I was okay with that.\u00a0 I\u2019m just going a few blocks!\u201d<\/p>\n

I sighed with predominant relief, but there was just the tiniest bit of sadness in me that I didn\u2019t get to be the guy who went on a two-day Uber roadtrip, who didn\u2019t have that story to add to the collection, who didn\u2019t contend for an all-time record-high fare.\u00a0 I filed the thought away.\u00a0 Alex needs the car in the morning.\u00a0 I\u2019ll be tired before too long and this guy is in no shape to drive.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t have done it anyway.\u00a0 When I drop him off three minutes later, he thanks me and says \u201cMan, we woulda had fun going to Tucson.\u00a0 Maybe next time.\u201d<\/p>\n

Back in front of the Ritz Carlton.\u00a0 This rider also has no luggage, not even a purse.\u00a0 I turn to ask the puffy-coated woman where we\u2019re actually going.\u00a0 She cuts me off, \u201cJust to confirm, we\u2019re going to Atlanta?\u201d\u00a0 Her sentences lilt up, but with emphasis, the pronunciation on Atlanta is At-LAN-ta, sounding almost like a curse word.<\/p>\n

\u201cUm.\u201d\u00a0 I hesitate.\u00a0 \u201cLet me just check how far away that is.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I can take you to Atlanta.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m stalling, but also in a bit of the shock that happens when unpredictable events unfold.\u00a0 I know how far away Atlanta is, it\u2019s 6-8 hours, depending on traffic, and it\u2019s almost 3:00, and Alex needs to go to work at 6:30.\u00a0 I would barely be in Alabama.\u00a0 I confirm what I already know.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I can\u2019t take you to Atlanta.\u00a0 My girlfriend needs the car in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat, you could take me five minutes ago, but you can\u2019t take me now?\u201d<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a common misunderstanding that Uber drivers see the destination of the ride when they accept or reject the pick-up.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know that\u2019s where you were going until just now.\u00a0 Drivers don\u2019t see where you\u2019re headed until you get in the car.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir.\u00a0 I need to go to Atlanta right now.\u00a0 And that\u2019s your job, you have a contract, you have to take me where I need to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

I am half-turned around awkwardly in the driver\u2019s seat, looking her in the eyes over my shoulder, somewhat imploringly.\u00a0 She is staring back with a quiet, matter-of-fact desperation.\u00a0 There is no fear there, but it looks more like this is because life has surgically removed fear from her than because she\u2019s not in a situation that would make her afraid.\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t take you to Atlanta.\u00a0 My girlfriend needs the car.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir.\u00a0 If you cancel the ride, they will hold my money.\u00a0 The money I need to get to Atlanta.\u00a0 And I need someone to take me to Atlanta.\u00a0 Do you have the cash to give me back, sir?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have the cash.\u00a0 But that\u2019s not the way it works.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey will hold my money!\u00a0 They said you would take me to Atlanta.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLook.\u201d\u00a0 I turn back to my phone, hit cancel ride<\/strong>, and hover over the reason for cancellation.\u00a0 The ride is not actually cancelled until I submit the reason.\u00a0 I point.\u00a0 \u201cYou see that?\u00a0 It says \u2018do not charge rider\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what I\u2019m going to press.\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 You won\u2019t be charged.\u00a0 It won\u2019t charge you a dime or hold your money.\u00a0 I\u2019m really sorry.\u00a0 But I can\u2019t take you to Atlanta.\u00a0 Someone will.\u00a0 You\u2019ll get a driver who can take you to Atlanta.\u00a0 It may take two or three tries, but it\u2019s not me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir.\u00a0 They will hold my money.\u00a0 I need to go to Atlanta.\u00a0 I\u2019m not getting out of this vehicle until we\u2019re in Atlanta.\u201d<\/p>\n

I look at her again.\u00a0 She is resolute.\u00a0 I know she\u2019s wrong about the money, but in that kind of 98% way you know something, not absolute.\u00a0 It\u2019s not completely impossible that there\u2019s a special hold for interstate trips.\u00a0 But didn\u2019t the Tucson guy say that he hadn\u2019t been given a fare estimate at all?\u00a0 How does Uber handle $500 rides for accounts linked to checking accounts that may have far less in them?<\/p>\n

Of course, here is where I have to admit to myself that there\u2019s been a small but rising voice in my head rooting for the woman refusing to leave the back of my Versa Note.\u00a0 Because I do want this story, I do want to be the guy who gets the huge crazy roadtrip fare.\u00a0 In all my months driving for Uber, I haven\u2019t gone so far as even Baton Rouge.\u00a0 My two longest trips were to La Place and Covington, less than an hour away each, still places classified as far-flung suburbs of New Orleans.\u00a0 I sigh heavily.\u00a0 I look back at the woman.\u00a0 She is dug in, hands in her parka pockets, looking out the window.\u00a0 My phone screen is still inquiring why I\u2019m cancelling the ride.\u00a0 I sigh again.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet me call my girlfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n

It is unclear to me whether I\u2019m hoping to have Alex yell at me, perhaps audibly to the woman, on the phone.\u00a0 Yell at me for waking her up at 3 in the morning when she has to teach at 7.\u00a0 Yell at me for considering this idea to the point of bringing it to her attention.\u00a0 Yell at me so I have an excuse to again reject the woman\u2019s insistence and this time mean it.\u00a0 I start thinking about what recourse I have if she persists in refusing to absent herself from the car.\u00a0 I conclude, as the phone rings, that I am left with the police as the only option.\u00a0 I immediately recoil from this thought, but then consider that the woman is not Black and, more importantly, most of New Orleans\u2019 officers are.\u00a0 Unlike nearby Baton Rouge, where protests and eventually violent recrimination erupted after the shooting of Alton Sterling a few months prior, New Orleans doesn\u2019t have a police shooting problem.\u00a0 It did during Katrina, but not since.<\/p>\n

The phone near my ear tells me that the number doesn\u2019t have a voicemail set up.\u00a0 It did the last time I called Alex.\u00a0 And then I remember that Alex is switching work phones today, that she gets the new one in the morning, that the service contract probably reset at midnight.\u00a0 And her personal phone has had problems for weeks and is not receiving calls.\u00a0 We don\u2019t have a landline.\u00a0 I have literally no way to reach her except in person.\u00a0 And I can\u2019t even think about heading to Atlanta without telling her.\u00a0 Perhaps more importantly, she doesn\u2019t have an alarm set to wake up if her work phone isn\u2019t working.\u00a0 Her number now directs to her new work phone, safely tucked away at school or perhaps the phone carrier.<\/p>\n

I hang up.\u00a0 I turn back to the woman.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, look.\u00a0 I\u2019m not promising anything.\u00a0 I have to talk to my girlfriend because she takes the car to work and she has work in the morning.\u00a0 And her phone isn\u2019t working.\u00a0 So we have to drive to my apartment.\u00a0 I have to go talk to her.\u00a0 She may say no.\u00a0 Is that okay with you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d she says.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m in no rush.\u00a0 I gotta be there by 3:00 is all.\u00a0 But I need to go to Atlanta.\u201d<\/p>\n

I relax a little and head toward home, trying to catch up to my competing thoughts.\u00a0 Am I really going to do this?\u00a0 Am I really going to embark on a 12-16 hour roadtrip?\u00a0 How do I convince Alex?\u00a0 What will the fare be?\u00a0 It seems like it has to be at least $400 or $500.\u00a0 The estimate on Waze said 484 miles to the destination, and $1\/mile is generally a good ballpark.\u00a0 Then again, that\u2019s for slower city driving and time is also a factor.\u00a0 We\u2019ll probably average 75 mph on the way to Atlanta, so it might be closer to $400.\u00a0 My record-high day of fares at this point (I\u2019ve yet to drive a Mardi Gras) was Halloween, at around $350.\u00a0 I\u2019ve already made about $80 today in four hours, mostly in the wake of the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert at the Smoothie King Center.<\/p>\n

Of course, it\u2019s not really for the money.\u00a0 Oh sure, I\u2019ve been jealous of the stories I\u2019ve read about big-ticket fares in online media.\u00a0 The first big one that was popularly discussed was a trip from New York City to Buffalo, not even crossing a state line.\u00a0 A friend of Alex\u2019s family told me this summer about a ride he gave from Atlantic City to New York City.\u00a0 But the fare always seemed dwarfed by the romance of the story.\u00a0 And hey, I\u2019m working on a book about this.\u00a0 What material!<\/p>\n

We reach my apartment building.\u00a0 I decide not to bother with the gated parking lot and just park on the street.\u00a0 I take a minute to gather my wits.\u00a0 I\u2019m about to leave a stranger alone in the car.\u00a0 Admittedly I have her Uber identity, but still.\u00a0 What are the vulnerabilities?\u00a0 I make sure to grab my keys and phone and open the door.\u00a0 \u201cGive me ten minutes,\u201d I tell the woman.\u00a0 \u201cNo promises.\u201d<\/p>\n

I rush into the apartment and start calling Alex\u2019s name.\u00a0 I am trying not to sound alarmingly urgent, but I need her to wake up.\u00a0 She rises, bleary, to a sitting position on the bed.\u00a0 \u201cHi, cutie,\u201d she says softly.\u00a0 \u201cWhat is it?\u201d<\/p>\n

I explain the situation, that there\u2019s a woman who really wants to go to Atlanta, right now.\u00a0 That it will be around a $500 fare.\u00a0 \u201cI wouldn\u2019t be back until tomorrow night,\u201d I conclude.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo I\u2019d take an Uber to work?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, probably.\u00a0 And that or get a ride home.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d she says quietly.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay?\u201d\u00a0 I am exhilarated and just the slightest bit disappointed.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, if you want to.\u00a0 You have to promise to be super-safe though, okay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOf course, of course.\u201d\u00a0 I look back at my phone, at the map of the road ahead.\u00a0 \u201cDo you need anything before I go?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJust a hug.\u201d<\/p>\n

Before I go, I tell her that her phone alarm might not work because of the switch and that this also will put her out of touch with me till she gets the new one.\u00a0 We test the alarm on her phone and it works and she admonishes me again to be careful.<\/p>\n

I head back out to the car, glad that Alex seemed genuinely okay with it, excited that the woman will not be disappointed and, perhaps more importantly, that a confrontation about her removal from the car will not be necessary.\u00a0 I wonder if I can go see anything in Atlanta when I\u2019m there, if I\u2019ll be up for it.\u00a0 I consider, just before I see the car, that there is a small chance the woman will be gone.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s not.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d I say.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re going.\u00a0 You ready?\u201d
\n\u201cOh, thank God.\u00a0 I was so worried when you came out alone.\u201d
\nI start the car and pull away from the curb.\u00a0 \u201cHow come?\u201d
\n\u201cYou came out alone.\u00a0 I thought she was coming with us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Just the faintest drip of hesitation drops down from my heart into my gut.\u00a0 This seems like such a strange thing to say.\u00a0 I dismiss it.\u00a0 \u201cNo, she has work here<\/em>.\u00a0 In New Orleans.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to Atlanta.\u00a0 She has to be at work in a few hours and I had to make sure she was okay.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh,\u201d she says absently.\u00a0 \u201cI thought we were picking her up.\u201d<\/p>\n

It takes me a few minutes to realize that she didn\u2019t think Alex was joining us for the journey to Atlanta, but that I was running her to work beforehand.\u00a0 I think about Alex sitting outside the dark school for the next few hours, waiting for the first person with a building key to arrive.\u00a0 I relax a little.\u00a0 This wasn\u2019t such a crazy thing to think.\u00a0 And after all, she doesn\u2019t know she teaches kindergarten.\u00a0 Maybe Alex goes to work at 4:00 and she\u2019d just be a little early.<\/p>\n

We ride in silence for a while.\u00a0 It seems we are both collecting our thoughts.\u00a0 My heartrate is calming down, the shift from the adrenaline rush of a momentous decision to the compartmentalization of mental focus necessary to drive for seven uninterrupted hours.\u00a0 She seems relieved, but has withdrawn deeply into her own head, I guess with the primary worry of not being able to get out of town being sorted.\u00a0 Twenty minutes into the ride, I realize that I should have packed a backpack and taken it along.\u00a0 There is plenty of space in the car, I won\u2019t be able to pick anyone up in Atlanta (or Alabama or Mississippi) anyway, and I may have to stay the night somewhere on the road back.\u00a0 A change of clothes would be nice, but a book is completely essential.\u00a0 Twenty minutes after that, I realize the ride will end during daylight hours, headed east in the morning, and I didn\u2019t even bring sunglasses.<\/p>\n

We keep going in silence, across Lake Ponchartrain, through Slidell, away from the city.<\/p>\n

I ask if she wants to listen to anything, my way of saying I would like to.\u00a0 She looks up.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just don\u2019t know if they\u2019re messing with me or if it\u2019s real.\u00a0 You understand what I\u2019m saying?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cExcuse me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean, like the prophecy?\u201d\u00a0 She is speaking very rapidly.\u00a0 \u201cThe prophecy.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t know if it\u2019s real or not.\u00a0 They\u2019re telling me about the floods.\u00a0 And like I don\u2019t want anybody to get hurt, man.\u00a0 I don\u2019t wish that on anyone<\/em>.\u00a0 But I had to get out, you know.\u00a0 Do you understand what I\u2019m saying?\u00a0\u00a0 I had to.\u00a0 Do you know the prophecy?\u201d<\/p>\n

I look out into the Mississippi night.\u00a0 We are in swamp country, the kind of place where the highway is surrounded on both sides by alligator-filled bayou.\u00a0 There are only a couple headlights, a couple taillights, visible at any given moment.\u00a0 It is very very dark.\u00a0 The situation has deteriorated quickly.<\/p>\n

\u201cUm.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know the prophecy.\u00a0 They don\u2019t mess with the old world.\u00a0 It\u2019s the new world they fuck with.\u00a0 Like there\u2019s the line through, what was it?\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember.\u00a0 Phoenix I think it is.\u00a0 That line that goes through Phoenix and all the way around to the other side.\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m saying?\u00a0 And it covers the Pacific and California and Asia and all that shit.\u00a0 And then on the other side you have here and New York and that Atlantic and, like, Europe.\u00a0 And that\u2019s the old world.\u00a0 And they don\u2019t fuck with the old world.\u00a0 But they\u2019re trying to destroy the new world. You understand what I\u2019m saying?\u00a0 With a flood.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d I say, trying to swallow my nervous sigh under the syllables.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut they flooded here.\u00a0 So I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I get nervous that they\u2019re going to do it.\u00a0 You know, I don\u2019t know who to trust.\u00a0 They\u2019re telling me this.\u00a0 And they say it\u2019s going to happen.\u00a0 But I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s real.\u00a0 You goddamn motherfucker!\u00a0 Shut the fuck up, I\u2019ll knock you out!\u201d<\/p>\n

I haven\u2019t said anything.\u00a0 I really hope she\u2019s talking to the voice in her head.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t even know.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know who\u2019s a clone and who\u2019s real.\u00a0 Barack Obama.\u00a0 He\u2019s a clone, right?\u00a0 Do you know?\u201d<\/p>\n

Deep breath.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t know.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy would they do that to him?\u00a0 To be married to that<\/em>?\u00a0 You understand what I\u2019m saying?\u00a0 Do they hate him that much?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUm.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI think he\u2019s a clone.\u00a0 He\u2019s a fucking clone!\u00a0 I knew it.\u00a0 Motherfucker.\u00a0 But maybe they\u2019re just trying to fuck with me.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember.\u201d<\/p>\n

She withdraws into a bit of mumbling, then reclines slightly.\u00a0 Silence takes hold.<\/p>\n

I re-evaluate my options under this sudden barrage of new information.\u00a0 My father\u2019s voice is reverberating in my head with his most frequent and important adage, never get yourself into a situation you can\u2019t get out of<\/em>.<\/p>\n

She has already refused to leave the car once.\u00a0 We are now in rural Mississippi, the kind of place where there\u2019s only an exit every ten miles.\u00a0 Turning around or ending the trip early do not feel like real options.\u00a0 They feel like they would risk jeopardizing my safety and causing further agitation in someone who is suddenly clearly quite troubled.\u00a0 I calm down a little.\u00a0 Aside from the shouted \u201cmotherfuckers,\u201d there\u2019s not a clear threat to me, especially if I don\u2019t interrupt the ride.<\/p>\n

Because of my history, because I play with worst-case scenarios in order to prevent them (another lesson from dad), I start trying to discern why she is here.\u00a0 Why a ride that could cost her well more than $500 in the middle of the night was not only worth it, but desperately important.\u00a0 Maybe she just committed a crime and needed to get out?\u00a0 Am I facilitating a fugitive?\u00a0 Is there a giant butcher knife packed into that parka?\u00a0 Or is her assumption that she can do something to get out of paying for the ride?\u00a0 That she can grab the phone when my guard is down and try to cancel the ride somehow?\u00a0 I have often worried about this before when contemplating the big-ticket roadtrip ride that might come in the future.<\/p>\n

The ride to La Place, my second longest prior to this trip, got cancelled in the middle of the ride.\u00a0 Toward the end of it, actually.\u00a0 We were on a minor highway in the middle of the night, swamp country again, and the disheartening but sudden sound of a cancelled ride rang out of my phone.\u00a0 My heart dropped precipitously.\u00a0 Usually this only happens if someone has picked up the wrong rider and the actual rider has seen that they are allegedly on a ride while they stand waiting.\u00a0 They cancel the ride and the driver suddenly realizes that they have the wrong rider, that they are not getting paid for this ride, and, perhaps most importantly, that all of the protection that comes with Uber is suddenly lost.\u00a0 Because now you don\u2019t have the identity of the person in your car.\u00a0 Now they could be anyone and there\u2019s no way that Uber can look up who you drove and tie their identity to you being at this place in this time.<\/p>\n

In that instance, the rider had been one of the most amiable and friendly riders I\u2019d ever had, passing the long drive quickly with tales of work and growing up outside New Orleans.\u00a0 Of course, con men tend to be talkative and gregarious.\u00a0 That\u2019s how it works.\u00a0 He tried to re-request the ride from the freeway, but the app wouldn\u2019t let him.\u00a0 We pulled over and he tried again to no avail.\u00a0 The app showed I had actually gotten paid for the first part of the trip up until cancellation and he said he had $8 cash on him and he\u2019d pay me that to finish the ride.\u00a0 It was almost exactly fair, so we continued on.\u00a0 But I was still relieved when the address proved to be in a quiet neighborhood, not a rundown shack, and when no one emerged from the building to join him in stealing the car.<\/p>\n

So theoretically this is a power a rider always has, to cancel the ride, though one at least gets paid for the time already spent driving.\u00a0 But what if they took the driver\u2019s phone and cancelled the ride there?\u00a0 This was no minor investment I\u2019d made in time and money, three tanks of gas to come, inconveniencing Alex, her extra spending to get to and from work without our car.<\/p>\n

I assure myself I\u2019m being paranoid, perhaps even more paranoid than my traveling companion.\u00a0 I focus on my breathing. \u00a0I reset cruise control and try to play little mental games to compartmentalize the time remaining in the trip.\u00a0 Hours past and hours to go.\u00a0 Fractions of the trip.\u00a0 Landmarks to come:\u00a0 Biloxi, Mobile, Montgomery.\u00a0 To try to predict where we\u2019ll be at sunrise.<\/p>\n

Periodically, she interrupts my little internal mental games with new rants.\u00a0 Many of them center on clones and the idea that regular people are sometimes clones with no outward indication other than slightly aberrant action.\u00a0 Many of them engage with voices in her head telling her to leave New Orleans.\u00a0 At one point, I ask her if she has to be back for work at 3:00 PM, trying to center her on a more normal reality and she looks up blankly.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I, I don\u2019t work.\u201d\u00a0 I repeatedly try to ask why she\u2019s going back to Atlanta, but she either ignores these queries of says \u201cThey told me to.\u201d\u00a0 It occurs to me she could have been fleeing abuse.\u00a0 Some time passes in silence.<\/p>\n

\u201cCan I smoke a cigarette?\u201d she asks.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019d really prefer that you don\u2019t.\u00a0 My girlfriend has asthma.\u00a0 She\u2019s allergic to it.\u00a0 I\u2019m happy to stop if you want.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, fine.\u00a0 Don\u2019t bother.\u201d<\/p>\n

Another minute.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut can I please<\/em> smoke a cigarette?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow about I pull over?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHere?\u00a0 No way.\u00a0 Please?\u00a0 I really need a cigarette bad.\u201d<\/p>\n

I try to calculate a number of cigarettes that this trip will require for her, given that it\u2019s been over an hour before this request.\u00a0 I think about the fabled calming effect of nicotine.\u00a0 I think about the hypothetical butcher knife beneath her parka.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, if we roll the windows down.\u201d<\/p>\n

I do so and she lights up.\u00a0 I think Alex is going to kill me if my rider doesn\u2019t first.<\/p>\n

Half an hour later, I\u2019m glad that she hasn\u2019t asked for another cigarette and that the smell is very faint already.\u00a0 I tell her we\u2019re going to pull over for gas soon, that she should get some snacks if she wants.\u00a0 She has returned to something more normal.\u00a0 \u201cOkay.\u00a0 I wish I had a few bucks to throw you for gas, but I only have a card.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s okay,\u201d I say, thinking about the expense of the trip overall.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should smoke again at the gas station if you want,\u201d hoping that this will buy me out of a few more requests.<\/p>\n

I pull into the station, a Marathon just over the Mississippi\/Alabama border.\u00a0 Alex had Facebook messaged me from her computer when she got up and now I had the ability to reply\u2026<\/p>\n

Alex<\/strong>:\u00a0 how\u2019s it going?<\/p>\n

Storey<\/strong>:\u00a0 The rider is really odd.\u00a0 I think she might be schizophrenic.<\/p>\n

Alex<\/strong>:\u00a0 What do you mean?<\/p>\n

Storey<\/strong>:\u00a0 I think she is clinically schizophrenic.\u00a0 She talks about voices and doesn\u2019t always make sense.\u00a0 She might be tired or on something instead.<\/p>\n

Alex<\/strong>:\u00a0 You are being careful, right?<\/p>\n

It occurs to me that it was a really bad idea to tell Alex all this before the ride was over and I was safe.\u00a0 It also occurs to me that I wanted there to be a record of the rider\u2019s behavior, just in case.\u00a0 These things are in diametric conflict.<\/p>\n

Storey<\/strong>:\u00a0 It\u2019s fine, it\u2019s an adventure!\u00a0 Getting gas and coffee now.<\/p>\n

We pile back into the car.\u00a0 My rider has smoked two cigarettes and purchased one small heavily doctored cup of coffee.\u00a0 She has also removed her parka, revealing long curly dyed red hair that was previously invisible under the parka hood.\u00a0 Also revealing no butcher knife.<\/p>\n

We head northeast through Alabama.\u00a0 The first glimmers of light are starting to emerge on the far horizon.\u00a0 I forgot to buy sunglasses at the gas station.\u00a0 We have, according to Waze, four hours to go.\u00a0 Soon, rain starts, offering a reprieve from my oversight.<\/p>\n

\u201cSir.\u00a0 When\u2019s the inauguration?\u00a0 It\u2019s in two days, is that correct?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d I say.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s in nine days.\u00a0 A week from then.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir, you are not telling me the truth right now.\u00a0 You are lying.\u00a0 It\u2019s in two days.\u00a0 Is that not correct?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cToday is the 10th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Well, morning of the 11th<\/sup>.\u00a0 The inauguration is the 20th<\/sup>.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir, please stop lying to me.\u00a0 We have 37 hours before the end of the world and we all die.\u00a0 Is that not correct?\u201d\u00a0 Her agitation is growing.\u00a0 I am becoming concerned again and realize that if she wants the inauguration to be in two days, it might as well be in two days.\u00a0 It occurs to me that this is the best thing to do with people convinced of things whose reality is dubious.\u00a0 You placate, you go along with it, you try to get on their level and reassure them in their terms.\u00a0 It also occurs to me that the last reference I saw to this tactic was in the movie \u201cCollateral Beauty\u201d and that said reference was punctuated with the following joke:<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you couldn\u2019t afford therapy.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t.\u00a0 My Uber driver told me that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Here were are, at full circle.\u00a0 \u201cMy mistake,\u201d I tell the woman.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s day after tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGoddamn right.\u00a0 I think.\u00a0 Fuck, maybe it is in a week.\u00a0 Motherfuckers!\u00a0 Why are they messing with me like this!\u201d\u00a0 A pause.\u00a0 \u201cBarack Obama, he\u2019s a clone, is he not?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d I say it as evenly as possible, as though I\u2019m considering the possibility.<\/p>\n

\u201cHe must be.\u00a0 He\u2019s a fucking clone.\u00a0 And you sir, are you a clone?\u201d<\/p>\n

My heart palpitates exactly once.\u00a0 \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir.\u00a0 Are you a goddamn clone?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood,\u201d she leans back.\u00a0 \u201cI didn\u2019t think so.\u00a0 Fuck.\u201d<\/p>\n

After a couple minutes, she puts some music on her phone.\u00a0 It is, near as I can tell, Russian gangster rap.\u00a0 The language is definitely Russian.\u00a0 The cadence is definitely rap.\u00a0 Some really fake sounding gunshots are peppered throughout the first three tracks.\u00a0 I would normally, at this point, offer to hook up the aux cable, but four hours of Russian gangster rap through the speakers is a bigger commitment than I\u2019m presently ready to add to this venture.<\/p>\n

After a few songs, she asks for a phone charger.\u00a0 I ask if she needs an iPhone or Android.\u00a0 When she says Android, I reluctantly hand over my phone\u2019s own charger, noting that I\u2019ll need it back in about an hour and that we can trade back and forth.\u00a0 She mumbles, accepting the cord.<\/p>\n

The music goes off.\u00a0 She leans back, her eyes close a little, even leans over on the seat.\u00a0 I am pretty impressed that she\u2019s been awake the whole trip.\u00a0 Had I just booked a seven-hour Uber to Atlanta, I would probably have immediately laid out on the back seat and slept for a few hours.\u00a0 That said, it occurs to me, again, that she may be harboring lingering doubts about me and feels compelled to keep her eyes open.\u00a0 Maybe she\u2019s fleeing some sort of abusive situation.\u00a0 Maybe she\u2019s been trafficked.\u00a0 Maybe she has very good reasons to distrust men but has to rely on one now to get away.\u00a0 Maybe she\u2019s just hopped up on something.\u00a0 But maybe not.\u00a0 I ponder, hoping that she\u2019ll feel okay enough to get some rest.\u00a0 She looks like she needs it.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t think she ever quite falls asleep.\u00a0 Twenty minutes later, she pops back up.<\/p>\n

\u201cSir.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir.\u00a0 What do you know about voodoo?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot much, honestly.\u00a0 There\u2019s a lot of people in New Orleans who know about it, but I only know what\u2019s in the movies, really.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir.\u00a0 Do you know how to get a curse removed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI do not.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause I think I, I picked up something there.\u00a0 I think someone.\u00a0 They fucking did this to me.\u00a0 You understand what I\u2019m saying?\u00a0 I am so confused.\u00a0 I remember but I don\u2019t remember.\u00a0 You know?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI.\u00a0 I guess?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you understand what I\u2019m saying?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, not really.\u00a0 Who did this to you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t fuck with me like that.\u00a0 You know<\/em> who.\u00a0 You fucking know.\u00a0 They did it.\u00a0 And now they\u2019re talking to me but I can\u2019t tell what they\u2019re saying and I don\u2019t know if it\u2019s true.\u00a0 Do you think it\u2019s true?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think so.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t think it\u2019s true?\u00a0 Man, I need someone to fucking take this thing off of me.\u00a0 Fuck.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even know how I got this.\u00a0 But do you know someone who can take curses away?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 Maybe there\u2019s someone in Atlanta who knows about voodoo?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cFuck.\u201d<\/p>\n

I keep driving.\u00a0 She periodically leans forward and asks things which lead to five-minute conversations in the same style.\u00a0 A sample of some opening lines:<\/p>\n

\u201cSir.\u00a0 When was it again that all the Nazis left the planet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, you\u2019ve seen the movie \u2018The Matrix,\u2019 right?\u00a0 That\u2019s pretty much true, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 How much of it exactly is true?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSir.\u00a0 Where did the neo-Nazis come from if they all left the planet?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat other movie is Keanu Reeves in?\u00a0 Is he a clone?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m glad I\u2019m an ugly bitch.\u00a0 Thank God.\u00a0 If I weren\u2019t an ugly bitch, I\u2019d be so arrogant.\u00a0 And then they\u2019d get me.\u00a0 You understand what I\u2019m saying?\u201d<\/p>\n

It is important to stress that her tone throughout these conversations is deadly serious, the way most of us would discuss a family member getting cancer or perhaps a recent mass-shooting.\u00a0 It is delivered in the persistent staccato harshness of her overall demeanor, fast, a little angry, and laden with swearing.\u00a0 When I respond at a pace even half as fast as hers, she responds simply with \u201cSir.\u201d to indicate that she has not understood me.\u00a0 The Russian gangster rap comes and goes.\u00a0 A couple more cigarettes are smoked (she always politely rolls the window down first).\u00a0 It occurs to me at one point that she might be trolling me, that she feels the most entertaining way to pass these necessary hours with a stranger is to rant and inquire about bizarre theories about the nature of the world and see how I react.\u00a0 If this is the case, she is perhaps among the finest actors in the world.<\/p>\n

Her most fervent phrase, peppered throughout the scattershot dialogue, is \u201cYou understand what I\u2019m saying?\u201d\u00a0 There is always a special emphasis on these five words, an extra loudness, as though she can detect throughout that I do not, in fact, understand.\u00a0 I still try to usually reply to this in a vaguely affirmative way, mostly for fear of being re-accused of being a clone.<\/p>\n

When I ask her questions, such as for my phone charger back, she is usually non-responsive.\u00a0 Occasionally she mumbles and then ignores me.\u00a0 By the time my phone battery is getting dangerously low, risking both the GPS and verification of this trip with Uber, I get insistent and she finally lets me take it back.<\/p>\n

A few minutes later, she asks if she can see my phone a second.\u00a0 My heartrate surges again. \u201cWhy?\u00a0 Is your phone not working?\u201d\u00a0 I am unable to keep the surprise\/fear out of my voice.<\/p>\n

She ignores me and stares out the window.\u00a0 I am content to let this one drop.<\/p>\n

The sun comes out from behind the storm.\u00a0 We have made it through the vast majority of our trip.\u00a0 I am starting to gain some confidence, in the daylight, that I will have the energy to finish the journey, that she will not attack me, that even if the ride somehow gets cancelled most of it has been logged and I will be compensated for this extraordinary experience.\u00a0 In the back, my traveling companion is showing every bit of having been up as long as I have.\u00a0 It occurs to me, for maybe the hundredth time, that she may be going through withdrawal.\u00a0 A few minutes later, as though she heard my thoughts:<\/p>\n

\u201cSir.\u00a0 Can we.\u00a0 When we get to Atlanta, can we go to the hospital?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u00a0 If that\u2019s what you want, absolutely.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can go to the hospital?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe can go to the hospital.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m sorry for freaking you out.\u00a0 I\u2019m.\u00a0 I always talk too much.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry for talking too much.\u201d<\/p>\n

I smile.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a few hours since that happened.\u00a0 \u201cHey, it\u2019s okay.\u00a0 It\u2019s a long ride.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m just.\u00a0 I\u2019m just trying to understand, you know?\u00a0 You understand what I\u2019m saying?\u00a0 They\u2019ve got me all crossed up.\u00a0 I\u2019m just.\u00a0 I\u2019m messed up.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo, no!\u00a0 No problem.\u201d<\/p>\n

An hour goes by.\u00a0 We cross into Georgia.\u00a0 I try to confirm that we\u2019re going to Tucker, Georgia.\u00a0 The fourth time over the course of twenty minutes that I try to ask this, she says \u201cYes sir.\u201d\u00a0 I realize she may just have a hard time hearing, though I have been increasingly loud with my inquiries over the course of the trip.\u00a0 I follow the GPS toward Tucker, realizing again that there is no address there.\u00a0 I wonder if I should ask again about the hospital.\u00a0 I wonder if she\u2019ll want to return to New Orleans when we reach Tucker.\u00a0 I wonder if I\u2019ve come 484 miles to be in the same game of chicken with her about leaving the back seat.\u00a0 I follow the directions my phone offers.<\/p>\n

Soon, we\u2019re in metro Atlanta, just behind rush hour, a fortuitous near-miss made all the better for the hour time-change at the Alabama\/Georgia border.\u00a0 Tucker appears to be a suburb nestled on the eastern side of Atlanta.\u00a0 We proceed along a three-digit ring highway, I-285, south of Atlanta to get there.\u00a0 As we approach the exit for Tucker, I ask her again to confirm where we\u2019re going.\u00a0 She replies affirmatively.\u00a0 \u201cYou still want to go to the hospital?\u201d<\/p>\n

She is looking vastly better than when she made that request.\u00a0 \u201cNo, I\u2019m fine sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou sure?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

I am trying, hard, to picture what the closing scene of this ride will be like.\u00a0 I wonder if she has a home.\u00a0 If she will just ask to be dropped off in the middle of Tucker, go sketch a sign on cardboard, and stand on a sidewalk.\u00a0 This doesn\u2019t square with reserving a $600 Uber at 3 in the morning under what appears to be her real name, but it would not be the first thing tonight that has failed to square.\u00a0 We take the exit.\u00a0 I ask for directions.\u00a0 She responds quickly, with cogency, a series of turns that appear to be going in a direction, not in circles.\u00a0 She is the same person who made it clear how important it was I take her to Atlanta in the first place.<\/p>\n

We pull up to a run-down vinyl-sided series of apartments, four-plexes or so, in a vast sprawling complex.\u00a0 The road through them is halfway to being reclaimed by the dirt.\u00a0 The biome is piney, strewn with brown needles.\u00a0 The road slopes gently downward and we are going to the very back, she assures me.\u00a0 I briefly envision people jumping out at me, banishing the thought almost as soon as it comes.\u00a0 We are so close.<\/p>\n

We pull up.\u00a0 \u201cRight here is fine, sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight here?\u201d\u00a0 I basically don\u2019t believe it.<\/p>\n

\u201cRight here.\u201d\u00a0 She looks at me, sincerely.\u00a0 \u201cListen.\u00a0 I am so so grateful for you.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t even know what I would have done.\u00a0 I had to get out of there.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, you\u2019re welcome.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad it worked out.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u00a0 You don\u2019t understand.\u00a0 I am so<\/em> grateful.\u00a0 Thank you.\u201d\u00a0 She opens her arms as though to hug me, an impossibility from the back seat to the driver\u2019s seat.\u00a0 I offer her my right hand instead and she clutches it fervently in both of hers.\u00a0 \u201cSo grateful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re welcome.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad we made it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes sir.\u201d<\/p>\n

She opens the car door, gathers her parka, sizes up the building in front of her, and sighs.\u00a0 \u201cThanks,\u201d she says, closing the door behind her.<\/p>\n

I sigh.\u00a0 I swipe the red bar, untouched for seven hours and twenty-one minutes, to end the trip.\u00a0 The phone, naturally, takes about 30 seconds to process this information.\u00a0 It asks me to rate the experience.\u00a0 I fall into a spasmodic laughter and pull away from the curb.<\/p>\n

I click over to the Earnings<\/strong> tab on my phone, satiating my long-running curiosity.\u00a0 Riders are always asking me how much a fare is, often so they can calculate a fair tip.\u00a0 I always tell them honestly that I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 It sometimes takes half an hour for a ride\u2019s fare to show up and one can never see it till the ride\u2019s over.\u00a0 This one populates pretty quickly.\u00a0 $391.26 is my share.\u00a0 She paid $521.68 for it.\u00a0 Less than I thought.<\/p>\n

In half an hour, I will be at Waffle House, eating for the first time in half a day, loading up on more coffee.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell Alex I need to get out of metro Atlanta before rush hour starts and then I\u2019ll evaluate when and where to sleep.\u00a0 But I won\u2019t sleep.\u00a0 I\u2019ll drive seven straight hours from Waffle House, stopping only for gas, to New Orleans.\u00a0 It\u2019s not rational.\u00a0 It\u2019s probably not totally safe, though I\u2019ll have a surprising amount of energy throughout the drive and promise myself I\u2019ll pull over if I start to fade.\u00a0 But I don\u2019t fade, even after 19 consecutive hours of driving, of 30 consecutive hours being awake.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t make sense.\u00a0 But sometimes, you\u2019ve just got to be home.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n

This is an excerpted chapter of the in-progress book tentatively titled <\/em>Driving for U:\u00a0 Behind the Wheel of a New Orleans Uber by Storey Clayton. If you are in the publishing industry and would like to contact Storey about this book, please e-mail him at storey@bluepyramid.org<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Content warning:\u00a0 language, depictions of possible mental health breakdown(s). 2:49 AM.\u00a0 I get a request for pickup at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel.\u00a0 It\u2019s a little too early for it to be an airport run, though I\u2019ve had at least one person go that early when they thought that Louis Armstrong International was not perhaps the fastest […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[48,83,20],"tags":[5,84,62],"class_list":["post-3443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-a-day-in-the-life","category-adventures-in-uber","category-primary-sources","tag-a-day-in-the-life","tag-adventures-in-uber","tag-primary-sources"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3443","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3443"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3443\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3445,"href":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3443\/revisions\/3445"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3443"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3443"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bluepyramid.org\/storey\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3443"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}