The Best of All Possible Worlds
(23 December 2001 - 1 January 2002)

1 January 2002
[from Toronto]

-Happy 2002, all!  I must admit I'm feeling a little glum after hearing the break announcement, but all in all, it's looking like a great year upcoming.
-Hanging out with Lauren & Joe is good fun.  If only Joe & I had known where we'd end up when we were at FFI in '97.  Such crazy stuff has elapsed since then, & it all makes sense in the end.  Or as of now, at the very least.
-Too much food...

31 December 2001
[from Toronto]

-Ugh.  The time to wonder is never useful.  Late night lobbies have rarely been worthwhile anyway.
-Sweet bastard.  I guess it's not a third day at Worlds without a member of Brandeis A being incapacitated from the start.  Inauspicious.
-Well, we were out of it going into last round, so it was all pretty Zen.  A true PMC (first speech of eight) was my final Worlds speech.  At least I got to link US foreign policy to the September 11th attacks.

30 December 2001
[from Toronto]

-Wow.  The 2nd room in the tournament.  & even though we got the 4, at least both Opp teams thought THEY deserved the 4.  Ah well.
-That's a great collapse.  A 4-3 after 2-1-2-1 is poor form.  & now we're on the hairy edge of missing the break.
-That meal worked out better than expected after nearly not happening.  Neat.

29 December 2001
[from Toronto]

-Life's so much better now than a year ago, it's silly.
-2/1/2.  Very pleased with 7 points.  I'll bank that.

28 December 2001
[from Toronto]

-We shall see.  Hm.
-Canada is such a civilized country.  Cold, but civilized.  It's just the USA without 2/3rds of the garbage.  Or 2/3rds of the heat.
-This hotel isn't in the same scale of magnitude of quality as anything in Glasgow.
-Maybe random people are better than some we know...

27 December 2001
[from Albuquerque]

-Wow, the news from Buffalo reports that I may be ironmanning the first day at Worlds.  Not really, but if Drew can't escape the snow, he may be incoming about an hour before first round.  On top of money concerns, this is shaping up to be as weird as last year's Worlds.
-Rereading the Archive from last year's Worlds, I am now convinced that NOTHING could be that weird.  That was one bad week.
-Just a couple more hours...

26 December 2001
[from Albuquerque]

-Everybody thought I'd left for Worlds already!  Not for another coupla days yet.  Em's still gotta get back & then we fly out together on the 28th.  Here's hoping it's better than last year.
-Rousing games of Pac-Man are always a good time while waiting for the bowling to begin.  Some people in the past have said they've never seen me more animated than in front of a Pac-Man machine.  These folks should (A) see Jake play Pac-Man & (B) see Jake & I come back to whup up on Freez & Gris in team-bet bowling.  Now THAT's excitement!
-& speaking of (A) & (B), Marps is back, so I've seen almost everyone.  Schneider, however, remains elusive.

25 December 2001
[from Albuquerque]

-Merry Christmas to those who want it wished to them.
-I am still exhausted, & very very sore from yesterday's goings-on.  Crazy luminarias.
-To respond to Lisha, all I can say is that it's possible that I lumped her feelings with Mesco's because she QUOTED Mesco to describe her feelings!!  But no, it wasn't an intentional misinterp... when I said ABQ on the 23rd, I meant the people, not the place.  So I think that it does accurately depict how Lisha was feeling in contrast to me.  Regardless, it's incidental.  This is why I wrote a book on the problem of interpretation.  Ah well.  No worries all around.
-I should really call some people, but I am both tired & somewhat cranky, so I doubt it'd do much good.  Sigh.

24 December 2001
[from Albuquerque]

-Nearly 500 luminarias, all placed on the property.  The triumph & difficulty was mostly the roof, which was only lined on the top since there's no gutter.  But no one else did their roof, so I feel good about that.  Now I'm exhausted.  But I do love this tradition.

23 December 2001
[from Albuquerque]

-Cud-chewing has its perils.  The way it was prompted I still can't discern, but I've been kinda funked out today, for the first time since being home.  & it certainly has nothing to do with the nagging doubts that Lisha & Mesco have been describing Albuquerque with lately.  I love it here.  I like the people here as much as I ever have.  But there's other things that find a way to nag.  I told my parents earlier this week, maybe only yesterday, that any morally conscious over-thinking person lives a life mired in guilt.  Thoughts of guilt are the constant backdrop against which other thoughts are thrown for contrast.  & while this doesn't normally get to me, it's the guilt combined with the various tortures of the past that combine for the most fun.  This is coupled with just not feeling much of a Christmas vibe anymore.  I love luminarias more than any tradition I can think of & I've had plenty of energy for that (I'm greatly looking forward to tomorrow), but there's something missing in everything else.  I've actually been really annoyed by hearing Christmas carols.  I feel absent & foggy & ethereal & rambling this into a great big long entry without purpose.  I need to make some decisions that are going to preserve my sanity.  That's clear.  & I need to get away from environments where over-thinking is a way of life.  Well, that last bit's an unreasonably unlikely thing, isn't it?
-Yeah, just need to focus on the bags of light.  All will be well when tomorrow's spent doing that.
-Just now, trying to post these above entries, the internet shut itself down & had to be restarted.  I almost took this as a sign that I shouldn't dump all this out here, but it's what it's there for, right?  & I'm fine, just sorta lonely & thinking way the heck too much.


Introspection, My Worst Friend* (Current)
Ye Olde Archive (Past)

Tell me this is not the end...*

*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers", by SWClayton.