Old Friends
(7-16 May 2001)
16 May 2001
[from San
Diego]
-Lisha comes through with a reminder of
the caterpillar invasion from yesteryear, but leaves out the
punchline to the story involving Matt "Action" Jackson
& a shiny quarter. Ah well, it's best left to the
countless retellings in person.
-There are SO MANY good stories
from way back when, come to think of it. I mean,
wow. Jaque asked me the other day when we stopped living
& started remembering, & we ended up agreeing that
it's been a gradual fluctuation & we still have lots of times
to remember that we're living right now. But the
memories often take the cake, I'll concur.
-I was gonna link Mesco's new
somewhat daily update page, but she hadn't updated in nearly a
month. But now she's back, so here we go.
So maybe I'll get around to a more formal link when I get
home. By the way, where is Schneider's
page?!
-No matter what everyone says, 9 is NOT that
many!! Or at the very least, not
enough. Clearly.
15 May 2001
[from San
Diego]
-I think I have a sudden renewed vigor to
become a columnist. I dunno how seriously anyone
should take this, but I remember that being fun, & it would
add just the right amount of deadline & routine to my
writing without staling (not stalling, staling, as in making
stale) my life too much. Journalism still has a soft spot
in my career-heart (is there such a thing?), but it's the editing
I don't like. I only became an Advocate editor so I
could stop people from editing my stuff blindly. (&, of
course, so I could fill the paper with headlines like
"Six-Year-Olds Should Kiss". Where IS Ryan Duryea
now?) Regardless of which, it's been on my
mind... if I get well-respected enough, then maybe I won't be
over-edited. How does one get in on the ground floor of
column-writing?
-Fish may have thought I was sleeping during
his little sidewalk (eco)pledge-drive, but I was actually
putting the finishing mental touches on my novel plot. No
working title yet & not a word written, but that all
begins when I return. I really think it's solid... just
worried that it might be too "poppy". I think
I fear that criticism more from my friends than from anyone else,
knowing some of them. The style, however, shall strive
to avoid such a poppy flair.
14 May 2001
[from San
Diego]
-Who was I kidding saying that that made
me happy? Re-reading it now, it looks a little fishy.
I think I meant that I HAD to be happy for something like
that, if it were to work out. What do you tell 2
people you really respect & like when you think they've made a
mistake? NOTHING! It's like "What's in
the box?... NOTHING!". Where is Raj when I need
him?
-I'll really try to stop talking about the above.
It just hit me like a blindsiding freight train. I
guess it shouldn't have. The focus should be the clean
slate summer with lots of writing to do. Maybe this will put
me in just the right mix of world-bitterness & calm
reticence to write the perfect novel. I fear that if I don't
write in a critical mood, I won't end up saying anything.
& maybe that's all the explanation I need. Don't
make it easy to take. Sheesh, Fish's & Jake's
"cowboy music" is rubbing off on me.
-Dialogue from
Fish's 3-2 series win over me in foosball this evening at UCSD's
Porter's Pub... me: "Is that a
Red?" Fish: "I think it's a
Bass." me: "Does it have fish in
it?" Fish: "It
feels like it!"
13 May 2001
[from San
Diego]
-Must... stop... thinking... about
everything. But some things more than other, y'know? I
fear you might.
-Happy Mother's Day! After talking to
Mom, it looks like there might be a shot at the Apt. o'Fun
next year.
-Suddenly we discover that, after years of thinking
it's something else, a love of avocado is really all that's
been at the heart of my friendship with Fish & Jake. Who
knew? Maybe this is somehow linked to guacamole
being left in Pandora's Box.
-Going to Disneyland yesterday so
soon after the Mariner's game on the 9th is packing my days
with almost as much fun & friends as I can stand. This
is the LIFE!
-& Lauren, for those wondering, is
certainly cool. Almost as cool is just seeing Fish with a
girlfriend... it's so good to see friends uniquely
happy.
-Wow. How about THAT? I just live in my own
little world & watch others
bounce off each other, apparently. Where'd that come
from? I'm happy on one level,
but you know all the other levels too. See the top comment
from today's list &
you'll begin to understand.
12
May 2001
[from
Disneyland]
-Yar! Thar be narwhals! Har
har.
-I've waited 2 solid years to get back to Disneyland
to, among other things, eat this blessed vegetarian
gumbo! Maddy may think it's laughable that gumbo could be
meatless,
but this is some of the best stuff I've ever tasted. &,
as Jake would remind you, it comes in a breadbowl, which
is how (Jake's view here) everything should be served.
-This
Fastpass stuff is where it's at. It's a whole new
experience!
-We finally got the picture, about 1,400,000 photos
too late. Yup, that's about 1.4 million Splash
Mountain terror shots since Fish & I were in stark contrast to
happy 4-year-olds on that godforsaken ride. But now
we had our own log & a photo to match.
-I can't believe FISH
was REALLY the one to get us to go BACK to Splash Mountain!
Maybe there was something in the mint julep. Besides
mint, which is hard to imagine.
11 May 2001
[from San
Diego]
-Looking back on the past few days, I
can't believe the way I said goodbye to a couple of people.
My leaving Zimmy & Drew, for example, & even Brandzy
& Zirkin was haphazard. I feel bad, but I also
feel awfully good knowing that (with help) I took care of storage
myself & saw the boxes to their destination, so I don't
have to worry about that.
-Ay, the dubiosity of my
dreams. For at least 2 reasons. The cast of characters
was
unfathomably long & thorough, often inspiring surprise
& disgust. But the prominence of the starring role is
not to be overlooked. Or wondered about. I am not
worried, I am not overly concerned. Or
something.
-It's a little disorienting to sleep this much in
the past 24 hours, but methinks I needed it. Also odd
is being alone in this apartment & not having an idea of what
today looks like. I think I finally get to meet
Lauren, though. Stay tuned.
-How about THAT? So now
it looks like I'll be speaking to everyone from the past
with the consistent glaring exception. Crazy stuff. I
think things between
Jenny & I always looked like objects do seen through a
fishtank: they APPEAR to
be in one place, but whenever one reaches for them, they've
actually been somewhere else
all along. Distortion all around. But change is THE
constant, as I've already
been so aware of & just keeps building.
10 May 2001
[from San
Diego]
-Nikki is my hero. Stina & Russ
are also heroes. & saying goodbye to all of them
almost at once was not exactly my favorite moment. Probably
not even heroic.
-I am the emotional gobstopper, yet
one more time. I'm sure it won't be the last time. But
I just slept 7 hours throughout both flights, so
hopefully I'll be feelin' better. Or at least ready to feel
better soon. & it's summer!
-The cool thing
about a life of missing someone all the time is that you're almost
always just ending a period of missing someone ELSE.
Case in point right here. Even if there's been slight
changes... I daresay there's at least one element of Fish
& I circa now that our 8th grade selves would've sworn to high
heaven would never come about. But that's what
happens when you let beings live out their own lives with free
will.
-Pete IS Art Alexakis. But probably doesn't
write songs.
9 May 2001
-Lisha & I always have a ton to talk
about.
-I can't believe I just saw Brad & Secord (not only playing
basketball with
them) for possibly the last time in a very very long time. They
both are
off to the midwest & MIGHT come back for our tourney next
year. Unreal.
Just like college to take people that you really see a fair amount
of
rather closely & whoosh them away at an unlikely moment.
-I have SO much to do in the next 36 hours. & no energy right
now.
Eek.
8 May 2001
-After thinking about it for a while, I've
realized
that there's one thing I must never again do with a date: go to
the Kendall
Square Cinema! It's a 3-for-3... every girlfriend I've had during
my Brandeis
tenure has been lost within a short time after attending a film at said
Cinema.
Yikes. It's my second moratorium in dating... the first
being Moody
Blues concerts. Ah, I love jokes that aren't funny.
-What am I going to do if Russ goes to Fordham Law?
-I=crazy.
-Reminder to self: this summer (earlier than later), in addition
to writing
a novel, I must complete the "vomit-cycle" short
story. Or at
the very least include said story in the novel somehow. Also
pivotal is
finishing the Jesus scifi story. My writing work-table is set!
-Does anyone know what the connecting part of one's tongue (at the base
of the
tongue, connected to the floor of your mouth) is called? Just
curious...
7 May 2001
-& speaking of college getting in the
way
of good uses of time at college, I just spent 9 hours hanging out with
Russ
& Nikki, who were exactly the right people to hang out with
& talk through
all this stuff. & yes, I'm fine. I'm doing
okay. It's
weird, but it's bound to be. & life is such a bizarre mix of
the beautiful
& the difficult & the overwhelming that I just collapse 'neath
the weight
of its wonder. That's not always positive, but it usually
is. Just
gotta stay focused on the big picture. I just wish I had Nikki's
faith
that it all will work out & Russ's patience. Right now, I'm
well short
on both, but still tingling with awareness & connection & that's
good
enough for this sunrise.
Introspection, My Worst
Friend* (Current)
Ye Olde Archive (Past)
Tell me this is not the end...*
*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old
Frontiers",
by SWClayton.