April Come She Will
(28 March - 6 April 2001)

6 April 2001
-Nothing takes the wind out of a $5 profit from poker night like funneling all of that cash into 4 loads of laundry.
-Say it ain't so!  Mesco's been leading a double life without telling me!  Or maybe she did, but I just blinked at a 2-line e-mail.  Or something.  Regardless, it's like meeting her all over again.  Well, that's a big stretch, but it's interesting.  Hm.
-The word for this break is going to be "haphazard".  I'm gonna be all over the place.  But it'll be solid fun.  Woo!

-I have so much hair.

5 April 2001
-I really should get commissions on library fines.  I managed to get someone to pay $91.75 tonight in fines.  Plus another couple of random small fines.  I figure if I pull in more'n a hundred bucks ($108.75) a night for the library, that's worth more than your average worker.
-Not that I REALLY believe any of that capitalist shlock (above).
-People actually DO read the Justice.  Who knew?  & now that they're writing about the team, it's a good thing too.
-I really love Risk... it just never gets old.
-Ugh, April.  This month is always so cruddy & I'm really trying to pre-empt the cruddiness this year.  March went through phases that were typical, but overall was better than your average March.  With some bad bouts thrown in to maintain identity.  But for March's volatility, April usually just delivers malaise.  & walking into Waltham today to run errands, I felt all the same old malaise.  It's a little bit the nice weather creeping back in, giving one a sense that things should be GOING places, things should be on the rise, things should sing.  But there's much more than that.  This is compounded this year by my not knowing what I want to do when I leave college, only knowing what I DON'T want to do.  I have to find that drive again, & it seems to be just outta grasp.  Which I can afford for now, but it doesn't feel like it.  & while I'm not alone anymore for the time being, which is wonderful, I'm reminded that we (or at least I) want to be understood as much as loved.  & that's not an easy task for anyone.  April is like being stalled-out, & for once I need to learn to drive in standard.
 At least I'm almost healthy again.

4 April 2001
-People are irrational.  Some more than others.
-No Nats for us.
-I've been weary all week.  How can I still be tired?!

-Allow me to clarify:  "No Nats for us." means we will not be HOSTING Nats in 2002, not that we will fail to attend Nats in 2001.  The latter has been assured since the Williams tournament in September 2000.  I, by the way, didn't want us to host Nats anyway.

3 April 2001
-I love baseball.

2 April 2001
-Ah, emotional tension while sick.  Always a morale booster.
-Shouldn't I be at least seeming to be better by now?
-An EAR infection?!

1 April 2001
-Fools, I'm goin' to bed!  All day!
-Wow.  I'm seeing it, but it's still hard to believe.  Princeton just rocked, minus the constant illness.
-I just re-read my Intro' entries from 2 days ago (below) & they crack me up in light of what happened.  How 'bout that?  That's why it's neat to keep a record like this.  Still, I'm deathly ill even now.  This has been such a bad year for physical health, & such a good semester for everything else.

31 March 2001
[from Princeton, New Jersey]
-What am I DOING on the APDA Board?!?!
-The window was open all night.  I feel I have NO incentive to get up this morning.
-Could Avi & I end up being the top Brandeis team here?
-5-0.  Avi's first break.  This is why I stopped debating with Zirk.  This is awesome!
-Sleeping in GA can be fun.
-2nd to Fletch.  Ah, the status quo.
-"I feel like I'm in space!"

30 March 2001
-Happy Birthday Fish!  Another member of the 21 club.  We're all ancient.
-Wonderful.  Snow.  I wouldn't mind if I weren't so sick.  It's the last day of March!  Well, I guess I could just judge at P'ton.  Not like I expect to do well there anyway.  But I don't wanna disappoint Avi.  We'll just have to see how the drive down treats me...

-Actually Lisha (check her site link above), I concur that "When Harry Met Sally" is astoundingly depressing, but I find elements of it to be TOO true.  The main theme is the ever-popular "the asshole gets the girl" which is alarmingly accurate & disturbing.  Not universal, but fairly common.  The fairy tale is that they'd be that happy about it or have any hope of a long-term future.  So basically I think we agree, but for perhaps different reasons.
-My aspirations for this weekend have plummeted dramatically.  If you'd asked me a week ago, I'd tell you they included getting elected to the APDA Board, breaking with Avi, & making sure the team & all my friends at P'ton have a great time.  At this point, my aspirations include not dying, & maybe even being able to debate.  Humility ain't such a bad thing...

29 March 2001
-My list of gripes could go on for a while today.  I'll try to spare y'all.  But seriously, unresponsive professors are most irritating.  I just can't deal.  Being sick puts a filter of dissatisfaction on top of everything, catapulting the mildly annoying into the extraordinarily unnerving.  & whatever happened to only getting sick once a year?  Between this & Scotland & last October (I think it was October), this has been an ugly year in the health department.  I don't know what I'm doing wrong but I sure know when it should stop!
-The verge of delirium is no place to be.

28 March 2001
-For the record, this was NOT the right time for me to get a sore throat!
-What a lousy day.


Introspection, My Worst Friend* (Current)
Ye Olde Archive (Past)

Tell me this is not the end...*

*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers", by SWClayton.