The Departure
(28 December 2000 - 6 January 2001)

6 January 2001
[from Albuquerque]

-Day seven of back pain.  I had to miss a party because of it upon my return last night.  It seems like there's been a lot more fun back here at home than there was in Scotland, all told.  As I was concerned about.  So it goes.
-This is just frustration in a bag.  My friends are starting to leave again, so I have to see them, but if my back isn't better, the Brandeis hills will eat me for breakfast & ask for seconds.  There just isn't a good answer here.
-At least I'm home.  Going to the Frontier last night convinced me of that.  & I guess Scotland wasn't THAT bad - it wasn't really Scotland's fault that it injured me 3 ways, I suppose.  Not completely.  But it did get me cold & started the whole process.  & I am really kinda looking forward to Brandeis again, assuming I can be healthy.  It's just amazing how much of one's daily routine is affected by one's back hurting.  Walking properly is more essential that you'd ever guess.
-I have no appetite.  But I suppose that'll come back with time as well.
-That's what I like to hear!
-Well he got himself this green guitar, yeah, when everybody loves us, well, who knows what might happen...?

5 January 2001
-Who woulda guessed I'd be back in Waltham for a day?  Even an early flight couldn't save me from this fate.  At least Greg & Brad are good hosts.
-Too bad I can NEVER fall asleep on my back.  Day six of it not being in order & this is getting way old.
-Less than 12 hours till the end of this oft unfortunate trip!

4 January 2001
[from Glasgow, Scotland]

-Good God, do I hope that I can get home by the end of today instead of tomorrow as was scheduled.
-Goodbye room 08.  Goodbye Doon Block.  Goodbye Wolfson Hall.  Goodbye Kelvin Center.  Goodbye Glasgow.  I guess I'm supposed to say "Cheerio", but I still have a half-eaten box of corn flakes & I'm not feeling terribly cheery.

3 January 2001
[from Glasgow, Scotland]

-"Don't brood too much."  Kate's funny.
-Maybe this'll just become my academic failure that rises from the depths to all the historical accounts of my ironic existence.  & Storey got a D in symbolic logic in college, someone will say while narrating my life history.  Far more likely, however, I'll just have to take it again while Samet smugly glares at me from the front of the room.
-I'd feel better about it if... nevermind, I couldn't really do anything so as to feel better about that.
-Greg & I debated 4 of the 8 World Finalists.  Who coulda seen that coming?

2 January 2001
[from Glasgow, Scotland]

-People's insecurities are incredible.  An all-night conversation with Drew Tirrell, ZimZim, & Brandzy has been utterly revealing.  About all 4 of us.  Maybe I have found close friends in college.  I feel comfortable about finding friends, but eternally discomforted by the big question that always provides discomfort.
-Well, here it's gonna be.  Octofinals of the World Championships.  Let's get pumped!!
-We did all we could.  Of that, I have conviction.  & we did break after all.
-I am so proud of Brandzy.  A World Public Speaking Finalist.  As a sophomore.
-On the whole, one of the worst days in recent memory.  Appropriately exactly one month after one of the best in even long-term memory.

1 January 2001
[from Glasgow, Scotland]

-Happy New Year!  & yes, I slept through it.
-All is quiet... on New Year's Day.  A bit too quiet.  Boredom, thy name is bedridden back pain.  At least I can eat again!
-My first strikes back against the Nestle corporation!

31 December 2000
[from Glasgow, Scotland]

-It's amazing how pain can work against the body.  When one has a blister, one can easily develop 10 more just by walking the wrong way to try to adjust for the first blister.  Similarly, taking 3500% of Vitamin C for the day helped my voice greatly but brought me to profuse vomiting this morning.  The balance of health is delicate & once it starts tipping, it cascades.
-It's going to be 2001 tomorrow.  That's nuts.
-I am in more physical pain right now than ever before.  Literally.  When throwing up, I managed to throw out my back.  I've never even fathomed this diversity & intensity of physical pain.
-Nothing beats being on the other side of perhaps the most physically challenging day of my life.  I thought I'd go to the hospital & I ended up helping us probably into the break.  Absolutely no pun intended.
-As always, a sense of humor is the key to survival.  Always.
-It's been a long December.  There's reason to believe I might actually be asleep when this year ends.  For maybe the first time ever.

30 December 2000
[from Glasgow, Scotland]

-Dammit.  Call it Columbia II.
-A remarkable amount of sympathy.  It would appear that some people really do like me.
-Okay.  To quote myself, well nevermind, that'd be silly.  The song is supposed to be.  But I'll say this - this beats the crud outta Columbia after all.  I just need some postcards, that & a long nice rest.
-That's called clutch.

29 December 2000
[from Glasgow, Scotland]

-Lonely.  Everyone.  Good God.
-Brandzy waffles between being too optimistic & actually real.  Is there hope?
-How was I supposed to know one has to turn electrical outlets ON for them to work?
-The difference between night & day is, well, the difference between night & day.  An apt phrase.  It's not just an issue of daylight, it's a total mentality & perspective.  The utter lack of continuity between the 2 is pure evidence that I'm crazy, & perhaps not even a consistent person.  But perhaps the difference is somewhat universal?
-My 4th A+ at Brandeis.  But of course my logic grade isn't in by the due date.
-Not my voice again.  Please?
-Tensions were bound to rise by now.
-I am in desperate need of postcards.  But I won't be able to send them till I leave with all the holidays upcoming.
-First day of Worlds summary:  solid performance; nothing worse than 2nd; this country is too damn cold.  Like Montreal cold.

28 December 2000
[from Glasgow, Scotland]

-It is way too dark here.
-Sleeping was necessary, but it was one long ordeal of dreams about missing responsibilities, mostly school & work.  I think my subconscious is very confused about my general whereabouts.
-I need a phone, a shower, & some food.  Especially food.  This is not my effort to sound like "Raining in Baltimore".  Though it was snowing much of the night.
-Notes to self:  Always order coffee without milk.  Always order rolls without butter.  Always order eggs cooked.  Always order potato scones, because they clearly MAKE breakfast here in Scotland.
-I really didn't expect things to be so DIFFERENT here.  I'm kinda comforted that they are.
-Call it off - the world is officially no longer worth saving.  That's what I informed Brandzy at least.
-Premonition anxiety dreams indeed.
-I have never seen so much consumed alcohol.  Ever.  Combined.  One night of a few APDA debaters has eclipsed two prior decades of experience at watching the American alcohol addiction.  Unreal.  God, I'm bored.


Introspection, My Worst Friend* (Current)
Ye Olde Archive (Past)

Tell me this is not the end...*

*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers", by SWClayton.