The Departure
(28 December 2000 - 6 January 2001)
6 January 2001
[from Albuquerque]
-Day seven of back pain. I had to miss a party because of
it upon my return last night. It seems like there's been a lot more fun
back here at home than there was in Scotland, all told. As I was concerned
about. So it goes.
-This is just frustration in a bag. My friends are starting to leave again,
so I have to see them, but if my back isn't better, the Brandeis hills will
eat me for breakfast & ask for seconds. There just isn't a good answer
here.
-At least I'm home. Going to the Frontier last night convinced me of that.
& I guess Scotland wasn't THAT bad - it wasn't really Scotland's fault
that it injured me 3 ways, I suppose. Not completely. But it did
get me cold & started the whole process. & I am really kinda looking
forward to Brandeis again, assuming I can be healthy. It's just amazing
how much of one's daily routine is affected by one's back hurting. Walking
properly is more essential that you'd ever guess.
-I have no appetite. But I suppose that'll come back with time as well.
-That's what I like to hear!
-Well he got himself this green guitar, yeah, when everybody loves us, well,
who knows what might happen...?
5 January 2001
-Who woulda guessed I'd be back in Waltham for a day? Even an early flight
couldn't save me from this fate. At least Greg & Brad are good hosts.
-Too bad I can NEVER fall asleep on my back. Day six of it not being in
order & this is getting way old.
-Less than 12 hours till the end of this oft unfortunate trip!
4 January 2001
[from Glasgow, Scotland]
-Good God, do I hope that I can get home by the end of today instead of tomorrow
as was scheduled.
-Goodbye room 08. Goodbye Doon Block. Goodbye Wolfson Hall. Goodbye
Kelvin Center. Goodbye Glasgow. I guess I'm supposed to say "Cheerio",
but I still have a half-eaten box of corn flakes & I'm not feeling terribly
cheery.
3 January 2001
[from Glasgow, Scotland]
-"Don't brood too much." Kate's funny.
-Maybe this'll just become my academic failure that rises from the depths to all
the historical accounts of my ironic existence. & Storey got a D in
symbolic logic in college, someone will say while narrating my life history. Far
more likely, however, I'll just have to take it again while Samet smugly glares
at me from the front of the room.
-I'd feel better about it if... nevermind, I couldn't really do anything so as
to feel better about that.
-Greg & I debated 4 of the 8 World Finalists. Who coulda seen that coming?
2 January 2001
[from Glasgow, Scotland]
-People's insecurities are incredible. An all-night conversation with Drew
Tirrell, ZimZim, & Brandzy has been utterly revealing. About all 4 of
us. Maybe I have found close friends in college. I feel comfortable
about finding friends, but eternally discomforted by the big question that always
provides discomfort.
-Well, here it's gonna be. Octofinals of the World Championships. Let's
get pumped!!
-We did all we could. Of that, I have conviction. & we did break
after all.
-I am so proud of Brandzy. A World Public Speaking Finalist. As a
sophomore.
-On the whole, one of the worst days in recent memory. Appropriately exactly
one month after one of the best in even long-term memory.
1 January 2001
[from Glasgow, Scotland]
-Happy New Year! & yes, I slept through it.
-All is quiet... on New Year's Day. A bit too quiet. Boredom, thy
name is bedridden back pain. At least I can eat again!
-My first strikes back against the Nestle corporation!
31 December 2000
[from Glasgow, Scotland]
-It's amazing how pain can work against the body. When one has a blister,
one can easily develop 10 more just by walking the wrong way to try to adjust
for the first blister. Similarly, taking 3500% of Vitamin C for the day
helped my voice greatly but brought me to profuse vomiting this morning. The
balance of health is delicate & once it starts tipping, it cascades.
-It's going to be 2001 tomorrow. That's nuts.
-I am in more physical pain right now than ever before. Literally. When
throwing up, I managed to throw out my back. I've never even fathomed this
diversity & intensity of physical pain.
-Nothing beats being on the other side of perhaps the most physically challenging
day of my life. I thought I'd go to the hospital & I ended up helping
us probably into the break. Absolutely no pun intended.
-As always, a sense of humor is the key to survival. Always.
-It's been a long December. There's reason to believe I might actually be
asleep when this year ends. For maybe the first time ever.
30 December 2000
[from Glasgow, Scotland]
-Dammit. Call it Columbia II.
-A remarkable amount of sympathy. It would appear that some people really
do like me.
-Okay. To quote myself, well nevermind, that'd be silly. The song
is supposed to be. But I'll say this - this beats the crud outta Columbia
after all. I just need some postcards, that & a long nice rest.
-That's called clutch.
29 December 2000
[from Glasgow, Scotland]
-Lonely. Everyone. Good God.
-Brandzy waffles between being too optimistic & actually real. Is there
hope?
-How was I supposed to know one has to turn electrical outlets ON for them to
work?
-The difference between night & day is, well, the difference between night
& day. An apt phrase. It's not just an issue of daylight, it's
a total mentality & perspective. The utter lack of continuity between
the 2 is pure evidence that I'm crazy, & perhaps not even a consistent person.
But perhaps the difference is somewhat universal?
-My 4th A+ at Brandeis. But of course my logic grade isn't in by the due
date.
-Not my voice again. Please?
-Tensions were bound to rise by now.
-I am in desperate need of postcards. But I won't be able to send them till
I leave with all the holidays upcoming.
-First day of Worlds summary: solid performance; nothing worse than 2nd;
this country is too damn cold. Like Montreal cold.
28 December 2000
[from Glasgow, Scotland]
-It is way too dark here.
-Sleeping was necessary, but it was one long ordeal of dreams about missing
responsibilities, mostly school & work. I think my subconscious is
very confused about my general whereabouts.
-I need a phone, a shower, & some food. Especially food. This
is not my effort to sound like "Raining in Baltimore". Though
it was snowing much of the night.
-Notes to self: Always order coffee without milk. Always order rolls
without butter. Always order eggs cooked. Always order potato scones,
because they clearly MAKE breakfast here in Scotland.
-I really didn't expect things to be so DIFFERENT here. I'm kinda comforted
that they are.
-Call it off - the world is officially no longer worth saving. That's
what I informed Brandzy at least.
-Premonition anxiety dreams indeed.
-I have never seen so much consumed alcohol. Ever. Combined. One
night of a few APDA debaters has eclipsed two prior decades of experience at
watching the American alcohol addiction. Unreal. God, I'm bored.
Introspection, My Worst Friend* (Current)
Ye Olde Archive (Past)
Tell me this is not the end...*
*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers",
by SWClayton.