A Honeycomb and a Mouse
(30 August - 8 September 2000)

8 September 2000
-I don't understand unconditional ANYthing.
-"I think you meant that the way you intended it."  -Prof. Greenberg.  He's Yoda, he's aware of his own tautological commentary, & he thinks I'm trying to go to quickly in the Kant course.

-Alright, kids... time for another diatribe!!  This one's about how voting for Gore is the only real throwaway vote, outlines the 14 states he might win, & tells you exactly why if you must vote, you must vote Nader.  Comments are always welcome...
-Apparently, there are tiny little ants in East.  & apparently, they really like Cheez-Its.  Grrr.

7 September 2000
-The purpose of announced fire drills has always eluded me.
-Mysterious late-night calls from Stein-o... can I get a dubious?  Oh well, he & ZimZim are good kids nonetheless.
-Dat's right!  You like dat?!  (Schneider & I got tickets to a BoSox-Yanks game this Sunday).
-Thursdays are as close as I'm going to get to a real weekend this semester.  Maybe Sundays, too.  But today's Thursday, so I'm running with that.

-As Aldous Huxley could tell you, after many a summer dies the swan.  Apparently, Lisha & Kate could tell you that after a single summer dies the update page.  Where'd they go?
-Today has just been good.

6 September 2000
-This past week, everytime I've been about to get really upset at someone, I just end up laughing in the end.  I think that's a healthy reaction.  So many bogged in so much pettiness & it just amuses me.  Ha.
-Tuesdays ARE long.  But we have 13 people signed up to go to Columbia Novice & more on the way!
-Potential.  Everything is all always about potential.  Too bad Hirshman ignored that in our seminar since it proved her devil's-advocacy wrong.  She'll come around.
-Yay delirious Mesco.

-Will you look at that sunrise behind the Boston skyline?  I am so lucky to be able to be alive right now.
-Fair enough.  That'll do.  Things are good to go.
-My Monday/Wednesday schedule is obscenely disjointed.  I have basketball from 10-11, Euro History (1789-1860... don't even think about making fun of that, Jake!) with Black from 12-1, & Hirsch (!) from 3:30-5.  This leaves large gaps in my day when I just (today, at least) end up lounging in my room & marking time.  That's sorta annoying.  I need to figure out how to make productive use out of this weirdness.
-I was about to report that there's a large UFO hovering above Boston.  But it turns out it's just a blimp over Fenway.  Close enough.  Has it come up yet that I love this view?

5 September 2000
-I'll echo the Goo Goo Dolls with a good round of "Sorry I put them words in your mouth, but you wouldn't talk to me."
-The Make-Stina-Laugh Telethon... coming soon to all towns near you!  "Heeeeeey Stina...!"
-Tuesdays are shaping up to be long days.  But what else is new?

-Always bring a jacket to class.
-Darn sensation-memories.
-People's (mis)perceptions of me crack me up.
-"Clear & cold" is a meteorological condition that has absolutely NO PLACE in early September!  What is WRONG with this state?!
-This morning, much like last Friday (whereon I had the same schedule as this morning) was a joyous burst of energy.  Very reminiscent of how I used to greet the days back at CTY in Carlisle the 2 summers I spent there.  Back then I always got up insanely early because they had an enforced "lights out" time & since I couldn't sleep all that long & was shy enough about showering at the same time as other kids, it was all I could do to get up half an hour before they opened breakfast.  Anyway, those bright summer mornings traversing the Dickinson campus & eating breakfast in an all-but-empty cafeteria, sometimes amongst the other 3 or 4 people who'd venture out at that hour, was something that's stuck with me for ages.  I loved those times.  & I seem to be recapturing the spirit of what that felt like.  Which is extremely positive, if it lasts.  Contemplating this all as I walked to breakfast & then to class, it re-occured to me (for about the bazillionth time) how imminently contingent on momentum one's life condition is.  Right now, the momentum is surging...
-No, I must admit to the person who refuses to speak to me directly but must refer to me nonetheless, it wouldn't be "nice".  No one is capable of taking care of their own life.  Everyone's life purpose is to help others.  We can take ourselves to a certain point, but it requires other people to really take us anywhere worthwhile.  This would be why society has more than 1 person in it.

4 September 2000
-This whole "time" thing escapes me far too often.
-Seven in the morning & I've already had 2 distinct multiple-hour long-distance phone conversations.  So nice to have supportive people in my life.
-My head has yet to stop aching from where the speaker hit it 2 mornings ago.  I don't THINK that's a bad or terribly unusual sign, but it's getting a little old.
-Interesting, interesting, interesting.  Revealing juxtapositions of ardent contrast are always appealing to me.  Now I feel better in one direction & worse in another
& it's all very strange.  The hypocrisy on the one hand is insane.  Really insane.  I never was a big fan of wanting-to-be-wanted ever since what Christine Lin pulled on people throughout highschool, but this takes that to a new level in a very ironically twisted context.  Wahoo.  Meanwhile, my overall perspective is just getting better.  So.  We'll just have to see, eh?  When will people make up their mind to either embrace or reject intensity without waffling on the fence?

3 September 2000
-My Christmas lights are almost as tempermental as most of the people I know.  Yes, that is saying quite a bit.  Maybe they're all just old.  The lights, not the people.
-Activities Fair today... yay being Acting President of 2 clubs at 1 table!
-Brandzy's trying to add a Collegiate Click-Drive to the Hunger Site... could be the coolest idea since that Site in the first place.  I hope he didn't want me to keep this on the proverbial DL...

-Brandeis is actually starting, for the first time in noticeable history, to crack down on people smoking near the buildings!  It's always been alleged that there's a 20-some-odd-foot space required between smokers & buildings, but we'd spent the last 2 years having nicotine-lined hallways of people outside every entraceway nonetheless.  Go 'Deis!
-So, where are all these new people I keep hearing so much about?  Maybe they'll be at the Fair later today...
-Good to hear from Barrett after all this time.  That rocks.  I love real mail.
-Crap on a stick.  All the games in this weekend's 4-game Mariners/Red Sox series are sold out.  & Andy, Gregor, Josie, & I already had plans to go tomorrow.  I guess I just rely on the Mariners radio network.
-My hall is going CRAZY!  Apparently it's freshman boat-cruise night & the whole of 'Rantz has erupted with a gleeful overdressed excitement.  Did we dress up that much for this?  Was it that big a deal?  I think it's gonna rain...

2 September 2000
-Life, like the M's game, is in a bit of a rain delay.
-Methinks I will be getting a job at the library shortly.  More to come on this matter.  Don't let me get away with not actually following through on this.
-Cords in the back of my desk might need some work.  Otherwise, I should expect more chunks of my forehead to sacrifice themselves to falling speakers.  Don't ask.

1 September 2000
-August dies she must.  No autumn winds yet.
-& so it shall be decided that I ought spend the remainder of my life living in rooms which have at least one window facing east.  The sun has woken me every morning I've been here, usually after about 4 hours of solid sleep, which as far as I can tell is darn near perfect.  What more does one need?

-One could argue that one needs one's posters to stay on the walls.  Hmph.
-Bearskin rug indeed.
-"I think debating is a worthy academic exercise." -Professor Greenberg.  Excused Friday absences, here we come!
-Have I mentioned this here Boston skyline on my left?  Because, really, it's something captivating enough to repeat.  Especially on clearish days such as this.
-Conducive to writing indeed... I've been living here less than 72 hours & just finished one of my first real short stories in years.  Auspicious.

31 August 2000
-Funny story from yesterday... I woke up after going to bed at 3 or 4 in the morning, & my clock hasn't been working, so I've got no idea what time it is.  All I know is that it's hot as all get-out in my room & so it's gotta be late afternoon, since the sun is what's making it hot & it's probably been shining for hours.  So I venture out of my room to find the campus more or less deserted... a clock in Usdan finally tells me it's 7:45.  Quarter till 8!  I'd slept for nearly 16 hours!  That's obscene.  Looking around, it was about twilightish, so I didn't question much, but I really wondered where everyone was.  Considering I had to get all my stuff from Brandzy & Greg & folks, I was disgruntled that I'd thrown the day away.  Well, I call Stina (not from my room, but Ziv Commons) & she sleepily answers after 2 rings... "What are you doing asleep at 8?" I inquire.  "What are you doing calling me at 8 in the morning?" she replies.  Ah, morning.  What a relief.  Note for future reference... my room heats up fast!
-So, yeah, still no phone.  I think I lost it.  Which bugs me to no end, since I was sure I'd packed it.  So IM me or something, or e-mail me, that'd be cool.
-Classes later today.  Already, sheesh.
-Other than the copious lifting (yup, I'm on the 6th floor & had my share of heavy boxes), first full day back was pretty much awesome.  Things here are really looking up.  We'll see how long this lasts... hopefully a while.  The friends 'round here are better than I remember them, but then again, it's been 3 months or so.
-Well, that's the most civilized shower I've seen on this campus since first coming to Brandeis.  Pede-free & loving it!
-Kate 1, Stina 0 in the advice category.  No offense to Stina.  Sometimes it takes a diversity of friends to produce the right answer.
-Brandeis' bookstore is selling BIRDHOUSES.  I don't know where they expect students to put them.  They're even cutely done-up with our school's name over the hole & blue-&-white paint all over.  There's your academic tradition for ya, neatly wrapped.
-I love Prof. Black.  He never ceases to amuse.  "Talking heads then were just the same as talking heads now - they were idiots."
-View of Boston skyline, ah, view of Boston skyline...
-So, progress is rapidly being made on making my room look inhabitable.  Lots of schtuff stuffed in the closet, but now there's a vast prarie-ish wasteland of space between the door & my desk/bed/window area, measuring about 8 feet by 4 feet, perhaps a little less.  I not only have no use for this space as yet, but also have not found a suitable home for my bedframe, which is the only thing I own too large to put in the gargantuan closet.  I admittedly have no intention of filling said empty space with said bedframe, unless there's an actual USE to which I can put the 'frame.  As yet, I see none.  Otherwise, posters are up & trying to fall off the walls.  The lights will be the next project - somewhat daunting considering the latest test revealed that only one of my 5-6 strands is fully functional.  So it goes.
-This room seems to be conducive to writing.  That's gotta be a good sign.

30 August 2000
-Back, but with no computer or phone.  Fun.


Introspection, My Worst Friend* (Current)
Ye Olde Archive (Past)

Tell me this is not the end...*

*-lyrics from an as-yet unreleased song, "The Same Old Frontiers", by SWClayton.